When I was a young engineering student at Marquette University (a long time ago), the engineering students banded together to create “The Purple Shaft” award. It was metal shaft about 8 inches long mounted vertically on a board and painted with a purple protective dye. The mounting board was high quality oak with a varished finish.
The Purple Shaft Award was given annually to the teacher who screwed the engineering students in the worst way. One year it went to a teacher of mechanical design. He would never give any student a grade higher than a “C”. No “A’s or “B’s”. A “D” was better than an “F” because it meant you didn’t have to take the class again. Needless to say, many students did get an “F” and had to take the course again. Assh—!
The Purple Shaft Award had an engraved gold plate mounted on the bottom with the name of the assh— teacher prominently displayed along with the course identification and the year.
There was no banquet to honor the teacher. He/she didn’t deserve a free meal. The engineering students took the cowards way out. The Purple Shaft Award would just mysteriously show up at the office door of the teacher recipient. The teacher could then “bask in the glow” of the knowledge that they had screwed over more students than any other teacher.
How did I do with the teacher in question? Six weeks into the course, I had worked my ass off and received two stellar “D’s”. Not wanting to waste my time or money, I seriously considered dropping the course and retaking it at a later date. If I dropped the course, it didn’t show on my record. I went to see my teacher to discuss the course and let him know that I seriously was considering dropping. He turned his back on me in his office and uttered “are you going to be a quitter all your life”. The discussion was over. Nobody says that to me. I persevered with the course. I finished! I got a “B”. I won. Actually the teacher won too. He used my anger to make me fight for my grade. Damn, maybe he was smarter than I realized.
Never the less, there are many people in my life that deserve the “Purple Shaft Award”. I am seriously thinking for having my own purple shaft mounted on a board and doing an annual award. It could go to a person at the bank that screws me over or to any person that makes my life miserable.
The Purple Shaft Award is timeless. There is no limit to the number of assh—- in the world.
Don’t screw with me! You too might get my prestigious Purple Shaft Award.
Love,
Dad