Ace Wisdom

I’ve mentioned my Mother’s superstitions in the past. Most of them were stupid (like if a bird flies into a window, someone in the family will die). The most common superstition was that bad things happen in “threes”.
Yesterday was a “3 bad event day” (as petty as they may seem). First of all, my wristwatch puked. I bought it one year ago with a five year promise on the battery. I replaced the battery immediately but now the date display is screwed up for some reason. That was annoyance No.1.
Second, I turned on the water on the kitchen sink. It is a single control faucet that moves freely side to side. I heard a clunk and the water stopped running. I think I have a 10 year guarantee and it broke after 3 years. What the hell is going on? Annoyance No.2.
Third, I took the car in for oil change. The cost was not supposed to exceed $50. I signed an agreement to spend up to $50 or they needed to call me at home. I picked up the car and the bill was $134. The Service Manager showed me a dirty “cabin” air filter. It is the filter that all outside air coming into the car passes through. It was filthy. The exact quote was “we didn’t call you because we figured you would have wanted us to replace it”. The nagging question is “did I get stung”. Maybe the filter wasn’t really from our car and it was just used as a reason for charging us a higher price. How should I know? I rationalized that even if they had called for authorization to replace the air filter, I probably would have approved. Annoyance No.3.
On top of all that, we have a mouse in the house. I trapped one early this week but when I went into the “back part of the basement”, a little black varment scampered along the wall. I need to borrow somebody’s cat. I know little critters come inside as it gets colder. I will win this battle. Hey that was annoyance No.4. Maybe my mother wasn’t right afterall. Could it be that all bad things happen in fours?
Cold weather is setting in. Halloween promises to be cold and windy. It could lessen the visiting, candy grabbing witches and gobblins (as cute as they may be).
Love,
Dad

Last Sunday was Grasshopper No.5’s birthday. Your Mom and I helped her celebrate earlier this month. I’m sure that she was flooded with birthday cards and celebritory tweets. Happy Birthday No.5. Many hugs.
Your Mom and I attended the UW Badgers game and watched them beat the Minnesota football team and retain the coveted Paul Bunyon Ax for the ninth consecutive year. You might ask who cares about an Ax! There was plenty of sunshine, warm weather and the 3rd quarter “jump around”. Grandson’s Grant and Mitchell (both well over 6 feet tall) let your short Mom sit between them. She looked up! They looked down! I wish had had my camera.
I got my snow-blower out this morning. Yep, I used the word “snow”. Menards had a sale on Pennzoil motor oil with an 11% rebate. Add in a high resistor spark plug and I’m good to go for another year. Now I’ve got to teach your Mom on how to run it.
Grasshopper No.1 made more movies available with Wi-Fi download. Your Mom and I are now in home movie overload. The Fall season tends to do that. We get pre-occupied with new network programming along with football. Thank you No.1
Grasshopper No.1 did share some chocolate toffee (from a slab of toffee). She and my favorite son-in-law bought it on Mackinaw Island several weeks ago. Mackinaw was shutting down for the season and everything was on sale. Even sale prices on fudge and toffee are mind-boggling. The toffee was calorie free.
Stay warm.
Love,
Dad

I keep hearing that we need to fix the Social Security System and Medicare. The programs are running out of money. That may be true but being retired, your Mom and I do receive their benefits. January 1, Social Security will be increased 1.7% to account for inflation. Our monthly benefit goes up. I guess they will fix the system next year…yeah right.
I know most of you haven’t read the book “Moneyball” but it is about the General Manager of the Oakland Athletics baseball team named Billy Beane. He uses computers, statistics and knowledge of baseball to win baseball games. The payroll of his team is the lowest in baseball. This year the Oakland team made it into the playoffs proving again that lots of money doesn’t get you victories. Go Billy Beane.
I have a friend that exercises at the same Health Club that I do. He has been planning retirement carefully for years. Retirement came quicker than he planned. He suddenly got “canned”. I can identify with that. The question is “what do you do”? “What do you do?” What do you do when you are under 60 years of age and you don’t qualify for government benefits. The answer is you “stop”. Relax. Take inventory of your financial situation, give the “middle finger salute” to the company that prematurely retired you because of your age (which is discrimination by the way) and have a beer. After working out a reasonable severance package and checking retirement savings it seems the “sun will come out tomorrow”. Add in potential offers of part time work because of his work knowledge, his life actually may get better.
Turn to the one you love and give them a hug. Focus on important things in life.
Love,
Dad

Grasshopper No.1 and my favorite son-in-law took an autumn trek through northern Wisconsin up into Canada culminating in a scenic train ride through the woods. I don’t know any details except that being escourted across the Mackinaw Bridge by State police at 20 mph because winds were so strong doesn’t sound good. Some vacations don’t turn out as good as others.
Last weekend your Mom and I spent the weekend in Minneapolis. It is always like a little Camelot. Grasshopper No.5 was a gracious host as always. She is 4-5 months into her new job as “Web Designer/Programmer” with Gameinformer. I thought Grasshopper No.5 designed futuristic video games. You know, “zap, smash, k-boom”. Nope I was wrong.
No.5’s company is a small Minneapolis magazine company named Gameinformer consisting of 34 people and designed to inform people about computerized video games including critiques of new video releases. The company “Gameinformer” is so good at what they do, they were purchased several years ago by “GameStop”, the world’s largest retailer of video game products and PC entertainment software. GameStop has 6700 retail stores worldwide including an online video game order system. It does over $2 billion in sales each year. That is $2 billion with a capital “B”. Grasshopper No.5 designs formats that make transition for video products to PC’s, iPads, iPods and other electronic products easy. It sounds futuristic. Grasshopper No.5 loves it. No she did not give me any free samples.
The trip to Minneapolis was after “peak colors”, but we did miss the 4 inches of rain that Wisconsin got. It never rains in Camelot.
Love,
Dad

My local newspaper comes early in each morning. I read my horoscope first. I belong to Taurus the bull crowd. Today it said that “it is dangerous business going out the front door”. What kind of fortune is that. I thought the horoscope was always positive and upbeat. It turns out that the prediction was right. I got in my car and my “service car soon” light came on.
Your Mom and I attended Grandson Dominic’s last “away” football game last night in Ashwaubenon. We sat through bone chilling temperatures and gale force winds. The improvement of the whole team since the beginning of the year is impressive. Players know their assignments. The most improved player has to be Dominic. Of course, I might be biased. Dominic doesn’t know it but these are the best days of his life. It ended in a 14-14 tie.
My addiction to Diet Coke is well known. I always buy 6-packs of 24 ounce bottles for $4.89. Suddenly the only choice is six 16.9 ounce bottles for $4.00. That works out to a 16% increase per ounce. Less product, higher prices! We never did that with cookies. Maybe this will ween me off soda. Talk about a sh– horoscope.
On top of everything it supposed to rain all day!
Enjoy the leaves.
Love,
Dad

Your Mom and I did commit to a new furnace and central air conditioner last month. It was sold to us by Scott, a son-in-law of the founding family of the furnace company. To complete the purchase was a “free” computerized thermostat which is supposed to maximize the efficiency of the “comfort system”. Whatever happened to “on/off” and “hot/cold” buttons.
I was briefed on the initial thermostat settings but Scott (different from the Scott who sold us the system) also described all the features that were available with the computer. I was given a 42 page instruction book and left alone with my new system.
Soon after Scott left I pressed a button that froze up the thermostat screen so that nothing responded. Nadda. Nothing. I called the furnace company and got their answering machine. Scott called me back. We solved the screen “freeze” problem.
Monday morning I got a call from Scott indicating that I had called and he wanted to be sure I had my questions answered. I thought I was losing my mind because Scott had answered my questions. It turns out it was a different Scott. The first Scott (who sold the system) was checking on the Scott (who installed the system). Really!
It turns out that the furnace company has three people named Scott working for them. Scott K. sold me the system. Scott S. installed the system and Scott N. who services the system.
“By Scott” you can bet that I will ask which Scott I am talking to when I’m talking to Scott. Will the real Scott please stand up.
The “Scott” dilemma is almost as bad as the “Who’s on First” routine.
Love,
Dad

Each October I look forward to football, changing colors and the apple orchard. When I was a kid, Waldo Orchards was located near my home town. A trip to the orchard meant apples of course but it also had taffy apples and candy. Tours by horse drawn wagons of the orchard were available. Of course there were the autumn smells.
I have transitioned to an orchard near Waupun which was close to where I used to work. It extended the traditional to pick up apples. The new location has pies. The speciality is standard apple but my favorite is the dutch apple. My “real” reason for going to the orchard isn’t the apples. It is the pies.
I admit that the 1 hour trip to Waupun to pick up apples borders on ridiculous especially with all the road construction around Oshkosh. All the apples are available at Festival Foods and I figure I can do without the pies. Really!
Grasshopper No.1 must have felt sorry for me because she showed up recently with a freshly baked dutch apple pie. One piece was missing. She admitted to taking a piece hot out of the oven. I got to cut a piece of pie from the tin figuring that I’d save the rest for th next few days. Grasshopper No.1 then pulled the cruelest of all acts. What I didn’t eat immediately, she was taking home. 30 years ago I would have eaten the whole damn thing but maturity has slowed me down. So some of the dutch apple pie is back in Sheboygan. Grasshopper No.1 giveth and then tooketh away!
Actually I appreciate No.1 thinking about her dear old Dad. Thank you No.1. The pie she baked was scrumptious and it filled my October “itch”.
I’m told apples are magic. They are nutrious and keep the doctor away. Enjoy the magic.
Love,
Dad