Ace Wisdom

This weekend your mother and I will travel to Wausau, Wisconsin located on the tundra north of the artic circle. Of course I jest but Wausau is one of the last civilized northern outposts in Wisconsin. It is the new home of Tom and Debs.
T&D are hosting a party in Wausau. It is the reception of the year to celebrate the May nuptials. We are going to the ball! Whoopdeedo! It will be capped by the Bride and Groom dancing to some magic music that is symbollic of their commitment to each other.
I haven’t checked the current health of the married couple but Debs was fighting 103 fever from pneumonia as of Tuesday and they still haven’t solved her rapid heartbeat. Lots of rest is required. Tom is diagnosed with cellulitis which is very painful and dangerous. He has been declared immobile and must keep his feet elevated until mid-month. There is also a chance that he has a broken bone in his foot. The X-ray results were not known at this writing.
So picture Tom with his cellulitis and maybe one foot in a cast and Debs bedraggled from pnuemonia with rapid heart beat stepping on the dance floor to cellibrate the glorius event. Don’t miss it! It promises to be special.
In the end, all that counts is that family and friends are getting together to celebrate the commitment of Tom and Deborah. The night will be filled with re-newal of friendships, seeing long lost relatives and just enjoying the event. It doesn’t get any better.
See you there.
Love,
Dad

My inside sources tell me that Debs has been diagnosed with pneumonia in both lungs. That explains the 103 degree fever. What bothers me is that they did not catch it with the first set of X-Rays last week. I guess massive doses of anti-biotics are being administered. The second part, rapid heart beat is un-explained. Believe it or not they have medication for that too. She needs to get well for the Tom & Deb reception this weekend. I understand Tom is struggling with some sort of foot infection. What is going on here?
When I was working at the “Foods” we would regularly buy tickets for the Wednesday/Saturday Power Ball Lottery knowing full well that our odds were about 100 million to one. But, we dreamed together. Because I was in charge, I always had a slight twinge of conscience that if a group of 20-25 of us won, we would all leave the company and it would have to scramble to hire new people. Believe me, I didn’t think about it long. It wasn’t my problem. I would take my money and run. Alas, it never happened.
Then Saturday night a group of 100 from Sargento in St. Cloud, Wisconsin bought a winning Power Ball ticket from the “miracle mile” in Fond du Lac. They get to split $208 million dollars. Whoopee!
Now the reality. Each person wins $2 million if taken over 20-25 years. That is not a good alternative I’m told because you forfeit all monies not paid to you. So lets say you live 2 more years, the last 23 years of payment are forever gone. I don’t know if that is true but it is rumored. Most people want the lump sum payment. If you take a lump payment you would get $1 million gross. Now you have to pay federal tax of about 35% and state tax of 7% so you would receive $600,000 cash. It is a nice chunck of change but if invested at 6%, you would get $36,000 per year. It is not enough to retire on but when added to your present income, it would be pretty nice.
Most people are sensible. They want to pay off their mortgages or buy a different home. I have heard new cars mentioned along with boats and vacations. After that short spending spree, it is back to living life.
I will say it would be exciting to deposit $600,000 in my savings account. Suddenly you have that cushion for emergencies, college education for kids becomes available and you have a “leg up” on early retirement.
Putting any money on a Power Ball Lottery ticket is stupid. The odds are so much against you that it really is a stupid wager. I would guess the employees with the winning ticket from Sargento don’t think it was a lousy bet.
My advice Grasshoppers is work hard. If you happen to piddle away a few dollars on a lottery ticket be advised that it is really stupid and a waste of money. Of course I knew that and I stupidly would throw a few bucks into the pool each week because there was that one possibility that I could become instantly rich. Nobody’s perfect.
Love,
Dad

My wife knows that I have a past rooted in baseball. With my Dad (Bucky) having aspirations to play professional baseball, I have memories of leather baseballs, “Nesefoot oil” being rubbed into leather gloves and sweaty jocks. So with the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (a semi-pro team located in Appleton and part of the Seattle Mariners) just down the road, my wife seemed driven to get me out to the old ball game.
In the movie Bull Durham, Kevin Costner is trying to make it to the “Big Show” for one last time. The Show is short for major leagues. Anyone playing for the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers aspires to make the Big Show. By the way, Alex Rodriquez, the highest paid player in major league baseball came through the Appleton Farm System.
So we went to a ball game. This is a game of detail. It is fun to watch a hitter work a pitcher to a full count. A double steal is a thing of beauty. A pitchout is a strategic call. Details, details, and more details.
Grandsons Dominic and Tommy happened to be in town and guess what, they joined us. The term “show” took on a whole different meaning. “Circus” might have been a more appropriate description.
We walked into the stadium and we got advertising materials handed to us, four (I counted them) computer mouse pads sponsored by different groups, some coloring books and a free ticket for Dominic and Tommy to get a free hot dog and soda. Welcome to Timber Rattler Stadium.
I walked our “tribe” down to one end of the stadium where they have a grassy knoll and the kids could get rid of some energy. They rolled down the hill and threw Tommy’s precious stuffed elephant back and forth like a baseball. Pretty soon another boy was throwing “Peanuts” around and my biggest fear was it would end up on the playing field. The closest it came was hitting the protective fence. While all this was going on I was watching this “drop dead” gorgeous gal talking to one of the baseball players over the fence. Those baseball players get it all.
Eventually it was on to hot dogs and soda. My wife added cotton candy which is the fluffiest, stickiest stuff in the world. Dominic on one side of me eating cotton candy with gooie fingers and Tommy on the other side of me with gooie fingers. Talk about being in a sticky situation. A trip to the water fountain solved the whole thing.
Did I mention Fang. He is the Timber Rattler mascot. Tommy and Dominic got their pictures taken with Fang. They also got an autographed baseball card of Fang.
We got a stuffed baseball that was thrown into the stands as a promotion and when Timber Rattler Mirano got a base hit, they threw frisbees into the stands. Yep, we got one of them too.
You get the idea, the “show” was not professional baseball for the purist. It was all the entertainment taking place around us. It included a slicked up Pee Wee Herman type leading cheers and dance routines between innings.
We left after the sixth inning with the Rattlers leading 6-0. I don’t know who finally won the game. I don’t really care. A good time was had by all.
Next time, if there is a next time, I am going to Rattler game with a baseball affectionato that knows the fine details of the game and is not distracted by all the diversions. Baseball is a serious game. It is statistics. It is strategy. It is steeped in tradition. It is not some “Pee Wee Herman knock off” dancing with an umpire to the song YMCA. Or, maybe I’ve got it all wrong? No, I don’t think so?
It was a memorable evening.
Love,
Dad

The oppressive heat wave we are having draws on my vivid memories of growing up. Yes, it was hot in the summer when I was growing up. I have my stories.
There was no air conditioning when I was a kid. Not in the cars. Not in the home. Not in public school systems. So we had to adjust. We had lots of fans. Window fans to pull in cooler air. Window fans to draw heat from the buildings. Lots of shades and blinds to keep sunlight out. Lots of trips to Elkhart Lake and Mauthe Lake beaches.
Ice cubes were in all the drinks and ice cream was common relief.
Driving the car with the windows open was the only way to achieve reasonable relief. When I was 17, my folks traded my personal car (that I paid for with my money) for a 50′ Oldsmobile convertible. I had mixed emotions because they traded “my car” without permission but I was getting a cool convertible. Driving a convertible as a teenager on a hot night with your best girl was a good way to stay cool (I refrain from joking).
My Dad’s (Bucky) passion was baseball and of course Jack and I played on many teams. The only cool place on a public baseball diamond is the “dugout”. I remember many hot afternoons standing in the outfield waiting for the other team to finish their turn an bat. Somehow the heat was never a deterent against playing. Of course some of the games were at night and practice sessions were always late afternoon.
I worked in the fields for the local Stokely Canning factory weeding beets in the summer. My mother would always give me a one gallon thermos filled with kool-aid and jammed with ice cubes. It was usually gone by the time I got home. I wore a wide brimmed straw hat to combat the sun. Once in a great while, Stokely would shorten the work day to avoid oppressive heat.
For some reason, my most vivid memory of coping with heat was being in Grandma Myrna’s apartment. She had fans all over but I was mesmorized by the oscillating fans. The metal guards over the fans were nowhere near as effective as they are today and we kept getting warned to keep our fingers out of the fan. There was one rubber bladed fan I remember that didn’t have a guard and you could put you fingers along the outer edges and actually bring it to a stop. Eventually we wore out the blades.
Growing up we survived the heat without air conditioning. Believe it! It can be done. I know it sounds like a tall tale, but it is true. So no more complaints!
Love,
Dad

Last night was Collin’s last soccer game. I think the team lost one game all year. I don’t know if they won the championship? Collin keeps getting shots at the goal from the left side of the field meaning he needs to use his left foot. He tries but it is like a “skatter gun” result because he is right footed. Then last night, late in the game he is flying down the right side of the field and he got to use his right foot to attempt a goal. Bingo! It was a nice way to end the season. Make a goal. Enjoy the moment. Go home. Dream about next year. Next is sophomore soccer at North High School.
Now about wieners. The Milwaukee Brewers announced that they were adding a new sausage to their current stable of hot dogs that stage a race at Miller Park (people dressed in costumes) during the baseball games. I don’t know all the current types but I think there is a Brat, a Hot dog, a Polish sausage and something else (maybe a Kielbassa). The new sausage to be added has to do with Latino heritage. It is supposed to be hotter and loved by all hispanics. The new sausage races will be 5 “dogs” instead of 4. Here is the strange part. The new Latino sausage will be introduced Saturday when it attempts its first race. Then you have to wait until 2007 to see the “Latino” on a regular basis. It seems there is a rule in baseball that you can not introduce a new mascot during the current baseball season. Huh? What difference does it make to other clubs? It is a local celebration! Technically the Latino sausage is not really a mascot. Bernie Brewer is the mascot. So all the fans will have to wait until 2007 to see the full compliment of wieners race because of a stupid rule. Maybe they have to check the “green card” status of the Latino dog. The biggest wiener of all is Major League baseball. How can you deny a wiener introduction.?
Now more recognition of wieners.
Collin was mentioned earlier but he is not a wiener. A hot dog maybe, but not a wiener.
Never promise you will take a family member fishing and then not follow through. That is a wiener.
The French have denied Floyd Landis the Tour de France cycling title until they check his positive urine test for testosterone. The French continue to be wieners.
Then if Landis really did use steroid enhancers to get his testosterone level up, he would be a wiener.
I end by mentioning that Debs ends her Wisconsin Vision career today. I think it is about 18 years of her life. It is now on to Wausau, a new career and a new life. That sounds very positive to me! There are no wieners here except maybe Wisconson Vision because they didn’t realize all that Debs did for them. She cared about their customers. Oh, my!
Love,
Dad

Last week was “mini vacation” week for your mom and I. First it was off to Lake Geneva to visit the Three Amigos. Kelly along with her sidekicks Grant and Mitchell were down in Lake Geneva soaking up the rays. We got to spend some time in their vacation haven. Lots of swimming pools. Lots of tourist traps. I have never been to Lake Geneva which became famous years ago for the Playboy Club and the magnificent golf courses. I did not get to frequent either. Downtown Lake Geneva is like Disney Village. Lots of shops and sidewalk cafes! And then there are the boat trips that leave from the town of Lake Geneva. Nice to visit. Nice to leave. The company was special.
Then it was off to Minneapolis. Grasshopper Margaret had prepared an agenda that kept us busy. Can you imagine being couped up with your parents for a couple of days and nothing to do? I met the enchanting Dr. Jones (Indigo). I met her special friend Shawn who helped make the excursions enjoyable. We did things like eat at the Town Talk Cafe in the middle of a war zone. No, it was just a tough part of town with security people on display everywhere. The food was great and we survived. Then there things like St. Anthony Main and the Stone Arch Bridge.
The center piece of the weekend was Chanhassen playhouse. We knew for a month that we would take in the play “Singin’ in the Rain”. We have been to the Chanhassen before. It is similar to the Fireside in Fort Atkinson except after dinner, you stay right at your table to watch the play.
Now to Lena Lamont. If you remember your movies, “Singing in the Rain” was about the movie business making the transition from silent movies to “talkies”. Lena Lamont was a star of the silent screen and was asked to talk in the first “talkie”. Her voice turned out to be like scratching your fingernails across a blackboard. The actress that played Lena, did an excellent job of projecting a high pitched, annoying squeeky voice. They the play they ended up dubbing Lena’s voice with that of another actress and eventually Lena faded to obscurity.
I dwell on Lena for a moment because she is your worst dream. I tried to imagine being married to her. It would be great as long as she didn’t open her mouth (I resist 100 really good jokes at this point). Just imagine a bride with that grating voice saying “Honey, I’m pregnant”. Eeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh! Give me the electric chair.
Lena provided the comic entertainment in Singin’ In the Rain and it was a fun event. Obviously she made an impression on me.
So we are home where I can resume my exercise program, eat good food like hot dogs, and play with my computer. Call me old fashioned, but I like it here.
It would be remiss not to thank the Three Amigos along with Margaret and Shawn for the enjoyable moments. I hope we can do it again.
Love,
Dad

I will confess to a weakness. I deal with big issues really well. I don’t do as well with “little things”.
This morning I was talking to my favorite Grasshopper on my cell phone while zipping around town in the car. When I finished the call, I kept the phone “on” just in case I might get a call. Yeah, right! Who is going to call me unless they want something? When I got home, I turned it off and then plugged it into a charger. I looked at the screen and it was dead. It usually says something like “charging in progress”. Nothing! So I disconnected everything and decided to turn the phone on (it was not dead, I was just recharging from lots of use). It would not come on. There you have it. My cell phone would not activate and it would not charge. Life was in the crapper.
So I went to do some chores around the house and set all the phone equipment on the kitchen counter. Later, I’d run over to my favorite Cellular One store and get a new battery.
One half hour later, I go to pick up the cell phone to take it with me to Cellular One and I tried to turn it on. It came on. My phone activated as though nothing happened. Then I decided to try charging the phone as I had earlier. Yep, charging began and 2 hours later completed it cycle. Everything now works.
My question is “what the hell caused the cell phone to go dormant”. I know there are some safety features in case of theft but I am not aware of a “dormant state”.
Now, I will have constant worry about when it will crap out again. Maybe it was a one-time thing. Then again maybe it was a sign.
I am not sure what significant sign might be coming through. Maybe it is to never use a cell phone again. Maybe the Cosmos is reminding me that it can cut off my communications with the world anytime it wants? Maybe someone in the Cosmos was just playing “head-games” with me.
My take on the whole thing. It is a defective phone. I will have trouble again. It was not a sign. It is a “little thing” and as I said, it will annoy the hell out of me.
Love,
Dad