Ace Wisdom

Wausau is close to the tundra. You’d think that it would be the healthiest place in the world. Cold maybe, but healthy. Lately I don’t know. Maybe there is something in the water. It is a good thing I drink Diet Coke.
Ever since Debs moved to Wausau to begin a life of wedded bliss, both her and Tom have been struggling with problems. First it was strep throat for Debs followed with a really bad case of pnemonia. Then they discovered an abnormal beating of the heart so they are going to stop Debs heart for a moment (I think Thursday of this week) and then restart it to regain a normal rythym. I guess we all experience sicknes issues, but it seems like a lot for Debs.
The story doesn’t end there. I haven’t even begun with Tom. First he breaks 6 bones in his foot and they also discover a dislocation in the foot. Did I mention cellulitis. They administered anti-biotics for the cellulitis. Then there was a fever followed by regurgitating blood. A trip to the hospital discovered his cellulitis was worse than expected so they increased the dose of anti-biotics. He became delirious. His kidneys shut down. Now they have switched the anti-biotics because they figure he was allergic to the first treatment. They have to do a dialysis of the kidneys to treat the blood because the kidneys clearly aren’t doing their job. The prognosis is still very positive but it sounds like a lengthy stay in the hospital for Tom.
I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I think it is the water. What else could it be. Two healthy people. Newlyweds looking forward to a bright future. Yep, I think it is the water.
Get well everyone. This could get expensive.
Love,
Dad

I saw a special on TV the other night that discussed the ways our world could end. No it is not Mexican immigrants flooding across our borders!
First there is a bombardment of Gamma Rays from an exploding star that would kill all living things. I guess it would be like radiation poisoning. Then there is having our planet get sucked into a black hole. If that doesn’t rattle your cage, you can envision getting hit by an astoroid. If that is not enough, a release of the wrong bacteria could do us in. You get the idea. Lots of things to worry about. Lots of things that we couldn’t change it we tried.
Now to important things. My water heater crapped out. Some water on the floor. Not too bad! We caught it early. A plumber friend of Chris was here in 30 minutes to give us a quote on an 80 gallon water heater. Most houses have a 40 gallon heater but because we have a whirlpool tub, we need the biggest one. The next morning we had two guys dressed in identical blue t-shirts (you know this is going to be expensive) taking out our old unit (it lasted one more day than the warranty) and putting in a new A.O. Smith “big” heater. Problem solved. It only cost a tad over $1000. I call these problems “aw shit” problems. You have no control. Fortunately we got fast service.
My point in this rambling is that somewhere between contemplating how the earth might end versus getting my water heater replaced is reality. Somehow I can relate to the water heater problem because it is current and real. Besides, have you tried taking a shower with cold water.
I need to postphone worry about how the world will end. I’ve got golf Monday morning! Important things first.
My lesson is Grasshoppers is “worry about the things you can do something about”. Screw the rest!
Love,
Dad

For some reason the subject of the Circus World Museum over in Baraboo, Wisconsin has come up several times in recent weeks. Maybe it’s because Debs is anticipating the Budweiser Clydesdales visit this weekend in Wausau. The Clydesdales were one of the featured attractions of the Circus Museum.
My memory takes me to a trip our family made in the late ’60s to Baraboo and I think Nana and Grandpa George came along. I know we visited the museum building that has a lot of artifacts from the past including a large organ that played continuously.
It was a sunny June day with, I think Debs, Kelly (she remembers some things about the visit) and I think Chris. I know it was June because Circus employees were preparing for their annual trip by train to Milwaukee for the Circus Parade in early July. As we walked the Circus grounds, they were loading big Circus wagons onto flat bed railroad cars practicing for the real trip in several weeks. I don’t remember if they used Clydesdales to pull the wagons onto the train or not. Debs remembers standing on the flatbed railroad car before they actually loaded it.
The highlight of the day was the performance in the “Big Tent”. They had tents set up with bleachers in a large circle. I think the whole thing was “free”. We paid to get into the Circus Museum grounds, but everything except food was free after that. The “Big Tent” performance was spectacular. I remember trapeze acts as well as animal and juggling performances. I think it lasted about an hour.
It was one of those special days that started out to be just a visit to the Circus Museum and ended up being so much more.
Several weeks later, the Circus Train made its way across the Wisconsin countryside visiting lots of small towns. I think the journey from Baraboo to Milwaukee took 3-4 days. It got to Milwaukee usually on Thursday evening and then Sunday would be the huge parade down Wisconsin Avenue. I remember the 40 horse hitch (Chris would call it a hutch) with 40 Clydesdales all hooked to one large Circus wagon snaking its way through the streets.
So I’m sure when Debs watches the Budweiser Clydesdales this weekend, she will travel back in time. The camera will be clicking and the air will be filled with smells and memories. Enjoy the trip.
The lesson Grasshoppers is you never know when special moments will come along. That is why they are special. The day in Baraboo with family enjoying the old tradition of a an Old World Circus will always be special.
Love,
Dad

Many things in life are not as they seem. You grow up believing certain things in life are true and then “bam” someone changes everything.
One of the Grasshoppers talked to me at Deb & Tom’s wedding reception last Saturday. She told me everything I wanted to hear. Her car payments were coming to an end and she was going to put the money from the payments in the bank (when payments ended) so she could save up for a large cash payment on her next automobile. How sensible. How practical. How smart. Then the following Monday evening she went out and bought a new car (actually 2 years old). Did I miss something? I guess everybody was happy. I heard what I wanted to hear and she got her new car.
Well today the Planet Pluto was taken off the official list of Planets. There are no longer 9 planets. Every text book I had as a kid talked about the exciting find in 1930’s of a 9th Planet. So my whole life has had Pluto in it. Pluto was a cute name. A stupid puppy who played with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck had a planet with the same name. I guess they decided that Pluto was too small and without significant rings or orbiting moons. It is just one big cold asteroid. Again things are not what they seem. One day there is Planet Pluto, the next day it is consider a “dwarf Planet”. I guess it just didn’t measure up.
I can’t help but wonder about Uranus. Isn’t that now the most distant planet from the Sun? If they ever take that off the official Planet list, it will sort of be an “Up Uranus deal”. I don’t know if I can handle that.
So Grasshoppers, hang on to the sides of your bed tonight because you are in danger of waking up in the morning and significant “truths” will be different. You thought the “Big Bad Wolf” in the fairy tale Red Riding Hood was just a fictional character. He may be real and terrorising Grandma’s everywhere! You think that the Green Bay Packers will have a competitive team this fall. It is not as it seems. You think Beliema who now coaches the UW Badgers will have a credible football team and he will carry on in the tradition of Barry Alverez. You silly fools.
My advice is remain skeptical (yep, as I am). Believe things when you actually experience them yourself. And then, and only then be prepared to have your heart ripped out when someone dumps Pluto to dwarf status.
Love,
Dad

Owning your own home is great. It is the American dream. There is this thing called a “mortgage” which makes home real estate possible. I can’t help but make a few observations about mortgages.
First, you don’t own your home. The bank, Savings & Loan or Mortgage Company owns it. You have a legal document making it yours and the lending company has a pile of “rights” should you default. If you really think you own your home, default on payments and you’ll find out who the eight hundred pound gorilla is. Normally you take hard earned savings and put 10%-20% of a house’s value into the mortgage. The bank puts in the other 80-90%.
Second, Adjustable Rate Mortgages (ARM) are very dangerous if you live on a budget. “Adjustable” means just that. If interest rates go down, you should get lower rates. That is nice. If rates go up, your mortgage cost which includes the new mortgage rate will go up. That is bad. Right now for people with a mortgage tied to the clever banking rate (which changes daily) called “prime”, could be subject to mortgage rates over 10%. That is just plain ridiculous. Mortgages are usually long term instruments of 15-30 years. Interest rate cycles are usually 3-5 year cycles. Don’t do the adjustable rate mortgage unless you plan to hold a house less than 3 years. As a rule, don’t do ARM’s. Lock in your fixed long term rate.
Third, home equity loans are an attempt to take what little equity you have in your home and borrow on that. Most banks and S&L’s send out an appraiser to look at your house and you are left believing that your house is worth much more than you thought. What the hell! Just tap some of that equity with another Adjustable Rate Mortgage. No! No! No! Now, if you fail to make payments on your home, the bank will make sure it gets sold and you will have nothing left because you used up all the equity. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Some mortgage companies will lend you up to 125% of the value of your house. Don’t do it.
Some people insist on paying down their mortgage by making “extra” principal payments. It can reduce the amount of time it takes to pay off your home from 30 years to 20 years. There may be some good reasons to do it, like your retirement coincides with your last mortgage payment. Many times there are better financial decisions. If you have 30 years of fixed payments at 5%, why pay it off. The interest is tax deductible, both Federal and State, which takes the effective rate to less than 4%. Take that same money, put it into a 401k at work, have the company match your contribution and earn 6-8% over time. All 401k money is deferred until you pull it out. Paying off your mortgage might bring peace of mind. Then do it. Paying off your mortgage may not be the best financial decision. Since your mortgage payments are fixed, you will be paying cheaper inflated dollars in the future. That is really good.
A final thought. If you think your mortgage company has your best interest at heart, you are living in a fantasy world. If you think they will be compassionate when your financial budget gets tight, you live a fantasy. If you think they will hestitate to put your house up for sale or auction if you default, you live a fantasy. Lah-lah-lah-lah.
Mortgages are a fact of life. They make houses available to 70% of all households. Use the mortgage wisely.
Love,
Dad

Actually the title to this particular blog is a “hook”. It was intended to get your interest. I remember a folk singing group named “Peter, Paul and Mary” from the 1960’s. More later!
I listen to CDs when I walk every morning. Debs is responsible for downloading most of my CDs but Margaret gets honorable mention. One of my favorite CDs is “The Smother Brothers”. I love the interaction of Tommy and Dick Smothers. One brother plays the dummy (Tommy) and the other plays the self righteous brother (Dickie). Their jokes contain cynicism, sarcasm and simple humor. Simple humor from simple people.
I got the thought that the job that Tom and Dick Smothers have is petty really cool. They play folk songs, recognizable ballads, and modern songs. The songs get interrupted regularly with their humor. The blend of music and humor make their routine seem like lots of fun.
So my next thought was, who could I team with that could produce the “dumb Tommy” look and do jokes that would be in rhythm with the straight lines I would feed him/her. There is an assumption that one could play a guitar (Paul and Margaret have had some practice) and I would learn a base fiddle. Each of five Grasshoppers has something to offer for the “dumb Tommy” role. If using a Grasshopper in my act, I had to make a choice.
I want to team with Grasshopper Paul. He would play the Tommy Smothers role and I would feed him straight lines. Paul has a warped sense of humor and he could develop skills on the guitar. Both our singing voices are in question, but hey these are folk songs and nobody would know the difference. We need to name our group (twosome) and I think Peter, Paul and Chuck would be perfect but we have leave out the Peter. So there is no Peter in our group. It would be Paul and Chuck (in concert).
It would be dynamite. My sarcasm has no end and Paul is able to play off that with the dumbest retorts and looks that most people could ever imagine. We would cut albums. We would perform on Leno and Letterman and all the talk shows. We could play Carnegie Hall. We would be popular. We would be rich. We would have fun.
As you can tell, it was a slow walking day if all I can think about is doing a knockoff act of the Smothers Brothers with Grasshopper No. 4. It is intriguing to think about the dummy and the brain teaming to do music.
By the way, I think Tommy Smothers (Paul’s role) is a member of Mensa which puts him in an elite intellectual class. He is also rich! Now who is the dummy?
Love,
Dad

In the past, Debs attended our family gatherings armed with a high quality camera. She would slip around when you weren’t looking and snap a picture when you had your mouth full of cake or something else. Sometimes an obscene gesture would work its way in to a photo.
I know Debs has been “out of the serious camera business” for awhile so I was safe in attending Deb and Tom’s reception in Wausau this weekend. Then favorite Grasshopper Margaret shows up with her high powered Japanese camera with assorted lens’ and begins snapping unexpectedly all over the VFW hall. It was the re-incarnation of Debs. Lots of embarrassing poses. To top it off, Margaret’s friend Shawn was also armed with a high powered machine. The new cameras let you push the button to take a picture and hold the button down so that you can get “rapid fire” moments. So we had an evening where pictures were being taken constantly by two people at an alarming rate and I think Margaret and Shawn had a bet to see who could get the most embarrassing poses. It was like “dueling cameras”. I can’t wait to see the final pictures. Yeah, right.
Debs and Tom held up pretty well. By the time the disk jockey went home, I could see Debs “battery” getting very low. She had done well. And Tom, he was surrounded by family and friends all evening. They didn’t seem to care if he was in a wheel chair. I didn’t know you could dance in a wheel chair. Now I know you can. I didn’t know you could twirl around in circles to the music. You can even lead a “conga line” followed by guests who felt no pain.
They came. The Andrews family. The Steger family. The Warosh family. Friends and guests came from far and wide. They left. It is now official. The wedding has taken place. The celebration has been held. The bride and groom can relax.
If there is a regret it is that it is almost impossible to spend quality time with everyone. I know I didn’t get enough time with our family meaning that meeting all of Tom’s relation seemed impossible. Alas, such is life. So much to do and so little time.
The next morning was very enjoyable. I got to spend quality time with each of the Grasshoppers staying at our motel and I got to harass the Grandchildren for a change rather than them harassing me.
I know that the celebration did not end at the VFW hall on Saturday night. Debs and Tom were entertaining at home all weekend. They created many special memories and will enjoy them for a long time.
You did well Grasshoppers. You made this Dad proud!
Love,
Dad