Yesterday was one of those days when the moon was in the wrong position and little things kept going wrong. I tripped over a telephone connection to the computer and caught myself by grabbing a chair. The chair tipped and we both slipped to the carpet. No harm done. Then I’m grabbing my cell phone in the car and it drops on the floor. It fell to a place I couldn’t reach easily so I had to find a safe place to park and reach under the seat. No harm done. Then I made a special stop to pick up a special weekly publication at my local news-stand. They are never out of the publication. Yep, they were all sold. I found another store and located what I wanted so it was okay. No harm done. You get the idea. Just picky little irritating stuff. My whole day went that way.
Well, I wondered if Santa ever has an off day. What possibly could go wrong with the jolly, rotund old man in the red suit?
Santa got into his sleigh to deliver gifts to the kids of the world with a special emphasis on Grant Hollander, Mitchell Hollander, Dominic Andrews, and Tommy Andrews. Why the special emphasis? Because they were great kids all year and many letters were received to make sure they weren’t forgotten.
Santa got into his sleigh and Rudoph’s “red nose bulb” was burnt out. Perfect. The glow needed to lead all the other reindeer was gone. Darn! Santa always knew that Rudolph had a weak bulb, but Christmas Eve it flickered out. So Santa replaced the bulb with a halogen equivalent. It glowed brighter and he finally got rid of that stupid red. No harm done.
Then Santa started off from the North Pole and could not see the North Star because of clouds so he was “flying blind”. No worry! Santa got out his GPS device to let satelite guidance systems take over. Wouldn’t you know one of the elves had taken the batteries out of the GPS to use on an electronic gift for Grant. So his GPS didn’t work. He reached into his battery bag and put in new AA alkaline batteries and everything was fine. No harm done. He now had his map system working.
Then unbeknownst to Santa, the elf named Tommy had fed the reindeer before they left on their long night. His choice was baked beans. You guessed it! Eight reindeer and Rudolph all had flatulence. Santa found a gas mask among the gifts and barely escaped the reindeer rage. No harm done.
Santa found Grant and Mitchell’s house and slipped quietly into the living room. After cookies and milk, Santa rose up the chimney only to find one of the reindeer had “relieved” himself over a chimney of a neighbor. To add insult to injury, the neighbor had simultaneously lit his fireplace. You can imagine what happened. Foreign material from the reindeer hitting a newly lit fire. Fire belched 100 feet into the air creating a spectacular fire spout. The reindeer had singed “butts”. No harm done. And what was the reindeer supposed to do, hold it?
When Santa reached Dominic’s and Tommy’s house, he figured he would go through the front door because it was easier. He slipped on the icy, unshoveled sidewalk and fell on his butt. Lucky he had lots of padding. Undeterred, Santa piled lots of presents under Dominic’s and Tommy’s tree for everyone. No harm done.
Wouldn’t you know that on his last stop in Sheboygan, he dropped down the chimney and he was attacked by a group of “nymphettes”. Fortunately he fought them off galantly and escaped in just his shorts. He had another “Santa suit” in the sleigh. Mrs. Clause would have been proud of him. No harm done.
I guess Santa does have his “off days” too. We all do. But he pressed on and he told me to help him tell the world “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT”. All the children had smiles and all was right with the world. No harm done.
And Grant, Mitchell, Dominic and Tommy promised to be good for the whole next year. Yeah, right!
Love,
Dad