Grasshopper No.4 blogs about his dis-satisfaction with Barry Bonds. No worry! There is a solution. Read on!
I played golf last week with an enjoyable group of seniors. No matter that our group was so slow that as we approached the last hole that we were 3 holes behind everybody because we were so slow. Does it bother seniors that they are holding up many, many other golfers? Hell no.
I shot a 51 because of very slow play. I found out the next week that it had been reported as a 57. Normally I’d get upset as a matter of pride. Then I figured no, the 57 gets figured into my handicap and I will get more strokes in future match play. With seniors this is nothing to get upset about.
Then as I was about to tee off yesterday, one senior came running to the tee just in time for his turn to hit his first ball. It seems that he drove to the wrong golf course and had to hustle once he discovered his error. Wrong golf course? Yep. Remember he is a senior.
Which brings me back to Barry Bonds. He might hit the home run that gives him the all time record but who cares. Everybody is destined to become a senior eventually and nobody will be able to remember the event anyway. Isn’t that the perfect solution. Nobody will ever remember.
WTMJ was running a contest on “calling” the record home run on the radio. If you were the announcer, how would you describe Barry’s historical shot? There were lots of creative ideas. One dealt with marking the home run with an “ass-terisk”. One “call” broke to a commercial sponsored by Monsanto and promoted chemicals that enhance the performance of everything (the reference here that Barry took chemical steroids allowing him to play better). The final “call” has the record home run ball being thrown back onto the field by a fan, chased by a stray dog and unrinated upon. It in fact is a record “foul ball”.
The lesson here Grasshoppers is that Barry Bonds record home run is “much ado about nothing”. As the population ages and they become seniors, they will forget. In the sands of time it means nothing. So don’t get your shorts in a bunch. This also will pass. Think like a senior.
Love,
Dad