Ace Wisdom

Grandson Collin is officially in the Marines.  BTM (before the Marines), he was a communication dynamo with cell phones, internet downloads, Twitter and Facebook.  He called from San Diego last week to inform his parents that he was about to enter the training regimen.  They would not hear from him for the next 2-3 weeks and then when they did, it would be in a letter.  Can a person exist without talking to someone every ten minutes?

As medical science finds ways to keep people alive longer, “nursing homes” have become very common for those people that can’t take care of themselves any longer.  The expenses of nursing home care can be overwhelming.  Some people have the forsight and the cash to fund a long term care insurance policy.  The insurance policies are complicated concerning coverage and can be subject to price increases.  The alternative is to pay for nursing care out of your own money should the need occur.  You pay and pay until you have only $2,000 cash left (and your home).  Then Medicaid will take over as it did in Nana’s case.

You can work your whole life trying to accumulate some cash but the nursing home care will get it all.  As you know your Mom and I have been attending classes on “Wills and Trusts”.  The legal advice is give any money away before you become senile.  The tricky part is to give it away 5 years before you become senile.  If we gave any Grasshopper $10,000 today and next year either one of us was admitted to a nursing home, the Grasshopper would have to give the $10,000 back because it would fall within the 5 year window.  It is State Law.  The law prevents a person waiting until they become incapacitated and then giving money away forcing the Medicaid program to pay everything.

The solution for the nursing home dilemma is (1) buy long term care insurance when you are young and insurance premiums are low.  Lock in low premiums.  (2) Give your money away 5 years before you become senile.  Yeah, right!  (3) Put your money in irrevocable charitable trusts which means the trust will eventually get your cash.  I’m thinking creating a trust for our the Church so they can pay off all the law suits for pedophilia (I couldn’t resist).  (4) Get divorced.  If you know you are becoming senile, divorce your spouse quickly.  One half the estate goes to the good spouse and is protected, the other half gets “pi—- away” on nursing home care.  Spirital belief and morals get involved here but some people believe that they can spiritually be commited to each other without a marriage certificate to confirm it.  Hmmmmm!

The lesson Grasshoppers is to alert you that there is “a nursing home black hole” waiting for you at the end of your life and it actually reaches back 5 years to pull everything you own into the hole too.  There are solutions but none of them are easy.  You are going to go out the same way you came into this world.  With nothing!

Love,

Dad

 

I have been “picking away” at our family tree.  For my Dad (Bucky’s) family, my Grandma Myrna was my source of information about her family (the Roberts family) and Grandpa Chalk’s family (the Andrews).

Information on my Mother’s side of the family has been more challenging but I have a friend that digs out family “tree” info as a hobby.  With his help here is what I have learned so far about Grandma Alice’s father (my Grandpa Jiggs) and his family.

Grandpa Jiggs (Ervin Stiller) was born in Sheboygan.  According to the 1910 census data his mother was Sophia (born 1860 in Wisconsin) and his Dad was Oscar (born in Germany in 1860).  Oscar is listed on early census data as “Osher” Stiller but my guess it became Americanized to Oscar.  Records also show that Sophia’s father (August) was born in Germany.  At this point we have established that the Stiller Clan originated in Germany.

Grandpa Jiggs parents (Oscar and Sophia) were married in 1890 in Sheboygan.  They had 5 children.  I always thought my namesake (Ervin) had one brother and one sister.  Nope there were 5 Stiller siblings.  The oldest was Charles (I knew him by the nickname Carl).  He was 6ft-6in. tall and owned a farm south of Plymouth.  He died while still a farmer in his early 60’s.  The second oldest was Martha.  She also lived on a farm south of Plymouth.  The farms were about 5 miles apart.  When her older brother died, Martha bought Carl’s farm.  Yep, she became a land barron.  Martha didn’t trust anyone so she “squirreled” away large amounts of cash in her home.

Third in the chain of Stiller siblings was Clara.  She lived in Chicago and came to visit Martha occasionaly.  I never met her.  She was just part of family stories.

The fourth Stiller was my Grandpa Ervin.  He never took up farming but did own Plymouth Spring Bottling Co. in Plymouth famous for many types of soda.  The soda “line”  had many flavors which gave it market clout.  Grape, orange, root beer, and my favorite creme.  Jiggs ran into sugar supply problems during World War II and couldn’t wait to sell the business and retire to the north woods of Wisconsin.  He bought Wildwood Lodge and rented cabins and served as a tour guide for muskee fishermen.

Last of Stiller children (No.5) was Alvina.  I think this is where the Klokow family comes into the picture which would bring Valerie and Mike into the equation.  The operative word is “think” because I’m not sure about the connection.  I only know one “Alvina”?

To wrap up this journey about the Stiller family tree, My Grandpa Ervin (Jiggs) was born July 31, 1897 in Sheboygan and died May 13, 1966 in Plymouth.

At the time of the 1910 Census Data, Charles (Carl) Stiller was 19 years old followed by Martha at 17, Clara 15, Ervin 12, and Alvina 9.

Now you know as much as I do about the Stillers.  It looks like you’ll have to go to Germany to find out more about the Stiller ancestry.

Love,

Dad 

Your Mom and I put together significant dates in time (defined by specific years) that have been part of our shared lifes and subsequent family.  Every year in life is significant but there are some that are more memorable.

1940.  Your Mom and I were both born.  Our birthday’s are less than 2 months apart.

1954.  We were freshman in high school and met while working on a homeroom float for Homecoming..

1958.  We both graduated from Plymouth High School in early June.

1960.  Married on April 2.  No.1 Grasshopper Deborah Kay was born.  I started at Marquette on day of Debs birth.

1961.  Grasshopper No.2 Kelly Christine was born, 2 days before the end of the year.  It meant an extra tax deduction for the year.  It didn’t matter.  We didn’t have any income.

1963.  I graduated from Marquette.  Our young family of 4 moved to Milwaukee.  I started my first job at Allis-Chalmers.

1964.  Grasshopper No.3 Christopher Charles was born in early February.

1967.  Our family of 5 moved to Sheboygan and I got a job at Vollrath.  It was October and the Packers were still winning championships.

1968.  We bought our first house on St.Claire Street.  It was a big old house.  Very big.

1972.  Grasshopper No.4 Paul Jason was born on a warm summer day.

1973.  Our family of 6 moved to our 2nd house on North 6th Street in Sheboygan.

1977.  Grasshopper No.5 Margaret Elizabeth was born in October shortly after we bought our first cottage.

1978.  It took exactly 20 years from the time I finished high school, but I received my Masters Degree in Business Administration from UW-Oshkosh.

1982.  We bought our second cottage on Crystal Lake.  It was a great location.

1985.  Our first Grandchild Dano was born.  I got fired from Vollrath.  We moved to Appleton.

1987.  I started working at Ripon Foods (Rippin’ Good Cookies).

2000.  I changed my life style. (I hate the word retire because it sounds like life stops)

2010.  Our five kids give us a commemorative dinner to celebrate 50 years of marriage.

I am sure I have missed significant dates in our family chronology.  There are marriages, Grandchildren births, graduations, deaths and much more.  My life turned upside down in 1957.

Love,

Dad  

 

Your Mom and I have been attending classes on “Wills and Trusts”.  It is a four week class and this our second time scheduling the same subject.  We don’t learn very fast.

I have learned a few things!

If you don’t set up a Will or Marriage Agreement, the State (in our case, Wisconsin) gets to decide who is entitled to your assets.  Andrews Rule No.1 is “Don’t let the State decide dispersal of your assets”.  Letting a governmental agency decide anything these days is insanity.  It is called avoiding Probate.

It is also very clear that the world of Wills, Trusts, and Financial Management (needed for Wills and Trusts) is very complex.  It can be overwhelming.  Lawyers tend to spew forth all the legal options you have and then profess to understand financial issues as they pertain to law.  Andrews Rule No.2 is “No one is an absolute expert on giving advice on your personal situation”.  The changing of tax laws, governmental mandates and  unpredictable financial markets make the world of Wills and Trusts extremely complex.

The “average” person will be depending more retirement plans provided by employers for their primary source of money during retirement.  “Qualified Plan” is the official name for 401(k)s, 403(b)s, and IRA’s.  Almost everyone has a plan.  It is tax deferred money.  Before you can use your deferred money, you must pay the taxes on all monies withdrawn.  The government will get their “due”.  Listen closely!  Because your “retirement plan” is your biggest asset as you get old, managing how it gets dispersed if you die is very important.  As I understand it, the people you name to receive your “deferred” money after you die and how you refer to the “deferred accounts” in your Will or Trust is critical.  So Andrews Rule No.3 is “manage your deferred retirement accounts so that they get dispersed the way you want when you die”  Do not let the government decide the fate of deferred accounts.

I know this is boring sh–.  Nobody feels they have enough money to worry about.  We don’t think we are going to die today.  Paying a lawyer to draft Wills and Trusts costs money.  Besides, the sink is clogged up and you have other priorities.

Do not put it off.  Do a Will or a Marriage Agreement.  Do it now.  You’ll be glad you did.  It gives you the power to decide how anything accumulated in your life gets dispersed.

Love,

Dad 

I can’t resist commenting on the celebration of our 50th wedding anniversay at St. Anna.  Somehow St. Anna was appropriate because our families have been going to Schwarz’s for as long as I can remember.

It put an exclamation point on 50 shared years.  You Grasshoppers have been the center-piece of our family so having you arrange the celebration was very special.

We were pleasantly surprised with the invitation from all of you, which was followed by a fruit basket.  The chocolate covered cherries along with the cashews are already gone.  What the hell, it is our anniversary.  After that the memories kept coming.  A commemorative crock, chococlate covered strawberries (your Mom hid some so that I didn’t eat them all) and a rhyming “Ode to Shelby and Chuck” added to the delight.  We played the 60’s CD’s all the way home.  All the warm cards and personal letters were appreciated.

Your Mom and I had decided to reminisce about the significant years of our family history.  Mom remembers things differently than I do.  Go figure!  I remember getting gold bands for our wedding for $30 each.  I did not recall she paid for them.  It is amazing the “lengths” that a gal will go to catch her guy!  Imagine her paying for the rings?  I had also forgotten that I had presented Mom with paper products on our first wedding anniversay.  She has kept the paper and “cheesy” poems for all these years.  I was a very young 20 years old when I wrote the poems so moaning is allowed.  I was very proud of giving her a matchbook constructed of paper and cardboard.  The poem goes “A match burns with color; of red, white and blue: And each time you strike one; my love burns for you!  Move over Lord Byron.  Of course the poem on toilet paper wasn’t quite as elegant.

As we presented the chronology of significant years of our family history, you were able to guess most of the events associated each year.  Five of the dates represented the birth of each of you so they were “gimme’s”.  The funniest response came from Dano as she waited for the year 1985 to be mentioned.  When I read the date from my notes, her hand went up and she shouted gleefully, “I know, that was the birthdate of your first Grandchild”.  Her inabiliity to contain her excitement was memorable.  Yep, she had it right.

As I looked around the room and saw all the smiling faces, the laughter and the sharing of stories, our 50 years together came into focus.  It has been a fun ride.  I am proud of the family legacy we have built.  Five Grasshoppers.  Five great personalities each negotiating life’s path in their own unique way.  The summer trips that we took and 25 years of cottage life make for interesting tales.  And then there are 8 Grandchildren.  I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the constant involvement of Nana and Grandpa George.

So for 3-4 precious hours, our 50 years together “came together” in one place with one tribute.

From me (and your Mom), a sincere Thank You.  “Fifty at St. Anna will be remembered forever”.

Love,

Dad 

 

 

50 years is the official time lapse between repeating our marriage vows and today.  The time your Mother and I have been sharing time together is actually much longer.

Sometimes good things in life just happen.  Your Mom and I volunteered to design and build a float in 1954 for the High School Homecoming.  A planning session was held at your Mom’s house on Plymouth Street.  It was her smile.  The smile lit up the world.  That same smile still lights up my world today.  And so it began!

We laughed together.  We cried together.  There were movies, lots of walks and shared school events.  Uncle Otto’s, the A&W and the local Dairy Queen were regular stops.  Our midwestern roots gave us common values and somehow sharing our life together seemed to grow stronger with time.  Almost like it was meant to be.

Your Mom was always supportive of my going to college.  I guess it implied a better life.  We knew it would evolve into marriage, a home and family some day.  We just knew!

Our marriage 50 years ago was the best thing that every happened to me.  It provided the “center piece” event for our life and my career.  Grandpa George and Nana encouraged me to switch college goals to engineering and they were the catalyst to making Marquette a reality.  From there things just got better.  Along came Debs.  She doesn’t remember, but being the first child, I took her everywhere in my free time.  We went to the park.  We visited Grandma Alice (who loved little girls).  We visited Grandma Myrna who doted on her first Great-Grandchild.  Debs got the “Princess treatment”.  It was a special time.  She was special.  My life was changing.  When Kelly came along, the enjoyment doubled.

The excitement of moving to Milwaukee in 1963 for my first “real” job at Allis-Chalmers was bitter sweet.  Your Mom and I looked forward to building and sharing our life together but Nana was heart-broken when Debs and Kelly left the Steger household.  You two girls provided an energy and love that had become normal on Plymouth Street.

It just kept getting better.  Chris was born in 1964 and was the only Milwaukee baby.

Moving to Sheboygan in 1967 felt good.  I had a new engineering job and we were now within minutes of our families.  It meant our first house, our second house, two cottages and a successful career.  Paul and Margaret were born in Sheboygan,  Five children all brought a different joy to the family.  Yep, there were tears but there was lots of laughing, growing and achievement.  Sharing took on a whole new meaning.

Appleton, cookies and retirement have evolved.  50 plus years have been a blur but I wouldn’t change a thing.

The center piece of our family has been your Mom.  She has always been there for all of us.  She is still there for all of us.  She has been everything I thought she’d be when we dreamed of a life together.  I got to share life’s journey with the love of my life.  It was the smile.  It makes people melt.

So to my Wife and your Mom, Thank you for sharing the journey.  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

Love,

Dad

 

 

 

 

I got my Federal Tax Refund yesterday.  I cashed it on the bus.

This weekend is brings an interesting alignment of dates

Thursday, April 1 is April Fools day.  For some strange reason I have scheduled a date with my dentist to complete my root canal.  Can dentists play April Fool jokes?

Friday, April 2 is the real April Fools day.  It will mark 50 years of marriage to the same person.  We were married April 2, 1960.  Over 70% of my life has been shared with one special person.

Saturday, April 3 Mom and I are invited to St.Anna for fun and frivolity.  The invitation makes it clear we WILL attend.  Actually, we are looking forward to it.

Sunday, April 4 is Easter.  This will be the first Easter in 50 years that Nana won’t be around for the festivities.  Somehow, I think she will be watching.  How many of you will get to watch your kids celebrate 50 years of marriage?

Monday, April 5 is son-in-law Tom’s birthday.  Let me see.  That makes the date of birth 1955.  The rock and roll era was just beginning.  Wausau will never be the same.

April 10 is Grandson Collins grand farewell.  Look out U.S, Marine Corps.  Look out Osama Bin Laden.

The rest of April is sprinkled with noteworthy birthdays.  Seems I have a 70th birthday in there somewhere.  There doesn’t seem to be anyway to slow the train down.

The next week is supposed to be 60-75 degree temperatures.  Open the windows, sweep out the garage and heat up the grill.  The sun feels good.

Love,

Dad