Ace Wisdom

Your Mom and I made an infrequent trip to the “real tundra” last weekend to visit Grasshopper No.5. She was a gracious host as always. Grasshopper No.3 can now rest comfortably knowing that I gave his youngest sister a hug on his behalf. Her response was “awwwwww”.
I always stop along Highway 29 to fill up with gas. Premium gas was $4.30 per gallon. Whoaa. What happened to gentle increases. It seems like the last $.25 per gallon increase came overnight. I guess that is called sticker shock. The good news is our motorcar (that is what Enterprise Motors calls our car) got better than 30 miles per gallon.
The second sticker shock was at a mall near downtown Minneapolis in the suburb of Uptown. We parked in a “ramp” next to the mall. Upon leaving the mall, I suggested to No.5 that I would pay the toll. We were there less than 2 hours. I pulled out $3 and had it ready for the attendant. No.5 said I needed more. I pulled out a total of $7. No.5 said I needed more. The attendant looked in the window and said $9. Jesus! I didn’t want to “buy” the ramp. Another sticker shock.
Grasshopper No.5 was “stoked” because she completing the programming for her new shared photo website with 28 special photo experts. Hey, I didn’t get an invite. I have a box camera that takes good black and white pictures. I checked her website today and I see she succeeded. Maybe the “28 elite” will become rich and famous.
Rumor has it that Grasshopper No.4 is beginning work on a Master degree at Lakeland. I did that after 15 years of marriage. I think it paid off. I remember thinking that “education was a personal thing that no one could ever take away from me”. It lasts forever. I received lots of satisfaction from accomplishments at work but they never approached how good I felt as I completed each course. My original goal was not to necessarily finish the requirements for the degree. Constant learning made me feel good. Wait a minute! Isn’t that the definition of happiness?
Mothers Day is Sunday. Give her a big hug. Mothers never stop nuturing. They can’t help it. Think about it! You are what you are because of one very special Mom.
I hate saying this in early May: “stay warm”.
Love,
Dad

Grasshopper No.5 (who controls my blog) has made un-announced changes to my blogging format. That means I have to learn to work with new instructions. Mature people (old people) don’t like that. I will say that the typed print is large (good for old people). Time will tell if the “new look” is positive.
This blog is a day early because of commitments tomorrow.
Happy Birthday to Grandson Dominic. Saturday, the 30th is the magic date. I think this is a celebration of becoming a teenager.
The Green Bay Packers are involved in a league negotiation process with football players. They dropped their “union” brotherhood and theoretically players are all free agents. This is what the indians used to call a tribal dance. Regardless of the labor strife, season ticket holders must pay their their money for seats “up front”. If it turns out that there is no NFL season, the money will be refunded to all customers. This was supposed to be an opportunity for people on the waiting list (there are 62,000 people). Patrons that were mad at the situation would not send in their money to renew, thus making room for those on the waiting list. Guess what? The subscription to season tickets was 99.8%. A total of 70 tickets opened up to people on the ‘list”. So now there are only 61,930 waiting for tickets. Talk about having a good product. Hey, I own one share of the Packers.
I have been battling with our refrigerator. It has not been cooling to ‘low enough’ temperatures. After a repair man, a new control and $300, everything works. Now the problem is that the temperatures are too cold. Grasshopper No.3 told me to “turn the damn temperature gauge down. Yep, that wisdom seems to be working. Why didn’t I think of that?
You can get your football fix by watching 3 days of the NFL football draft starting tonight.
I’ll sleep tonight knowing that Obama was born!
Love,
Dad

Easter came and went.  The weather was sunny and warm.  I got to throw a snowball from a remaining pile of snow at Grasshopper No.4.  It turned out to be a really nice day.  We measured Grandson Mitchell’s height on the wall (remember he is in 7th grade).  He tied me at close to 5’11”.  The difference is I don’t think he has stopped growing.  On the other hand, I seem to be shrinking.

I got one birthday card in the mail.  It was from my local Bank.  What is wrong with that picture?  The only one caring enough to send me a card is my bank?  It ain’t the amount of money I’ve got in their “care”.

Your Mom got me a special mirror with capability of 5 time magnification.  I won’t go into the details, but it is to aid in my grooming routine.  Of course it is something I’ve always wanted!

The next family birthdays on the horizon are Grandson Dominic followed by Grandson Grant.

I filled up the car with gas yesterday.  I hit $50.  I haven’t spent that much money on gas ever.  Gas prices will go higher.  Nobody seems to really know why?  It is always blamed on commodities and speculators.  Sometimes it is strife in the Middle East.  Sometimes it is anticipated shortages.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Yeah!  Don’t federal and state taxes comprise over 50% of the cost of a gallon of gas.  Why don’t we drop some of the tax penalties?

The rest of this week will be dominated by the wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton.  The world waits in breathless anticipation.  Why is this a big deal?  The Royal Family doesn’t do much to run England.  I guess it is because they are the symbol of the English Kingdom.  I understand that Royal’s have “blue blood” running in their veins.  All costs associated with the wedding will exceed 10’s of millions of dollars.  Does that mean the wedding night is better that that of an “average couple”.

I finish with an old joke.  On the wedding night of William and Kate, they retire to an elegant bedroom.  William passionately offers Kate his honor.  Kate respectfully honors William’s offer.  And that is the way it goes for the entire wedding night.  Honor.  Offer.  Honor.  Offer.

Have a good week.

Love,

Dad 

 

 

My brother Jerry invited me to lunch yesterday for my “umpteeumph” birthday (which is tomorrow by the way).  We met in Fond du lac because it is mid-way between Appleton and Sheboygan.  The restaurant of choice was “Old Country Buffet” probably because we both are cheap.  Guess what?  The restaurant was “out of business” so Applebees had to do.

Jerry has access to old pictures from brother Jack’s archives and some from Addie.  Yesterday Jerry had one old picture of a youth baseball team that my Dad had coached.  I’m guessing the year was 1954.  Jerry is the last family member who has memories of the special baseball heritage we experienced growing up.  In the picture are my Dad (the coach), brother Jack (catcher and best hitter) and brother Jerry who was the team bat boy.  Clearly the baseball world revolved around our family.  But there were names and faces that I haven’t heard in 57 years.  There was Dick Mueller (brother of Bill, my brother in law) and Allan Diederich, a life long friend presently in San Diego.  But there was Gene and Jerry and Roger and Jim.  17 total young baseball players (ages 12-14) were in the picture dressed in drab gray uniforms.  I think what struck me most were the names.  The name of each player in the picture was written on the back of the photo.  I remember each and every name in the picture.  Amazing.  It was like yesterday.  So Jerry took me back for a few moments to what I have begun to realize was a very special time.

Somehow Jerry got my report cards from my sophomore year in high school.  I had straight A’s in physical education.  Nobody will ever see the rest of the course grades.

So in addition to being Good Friday and Earth day, it is my nephew Mike K.’s birthday.  Yesterday was Grandson Collin’s birthday and tomorrow in my birthday.  Lots of celebrations.  Happy Birthday to all.

Peter Cottontail is bouncing around the snow in our backyard.  He is probably ready to lay eggs with bright colors and intricate designs.  Wait, rabbits don’t lay eggs and in particular, guy rabbits don’t pro-create.  How does he do the “egg thing”?

Here is wishing you a vary Happy Easter.

Love,

Dad 

I take the blame for the snow that is falling outside.  I took the snow tires off both cars.  That surely is tempting the weather gods to “bring it”.  Then I put the snowblower back into a corner of the garage to hibernate for the winter.  That couldn’t have made the gods happy.  So here it is, April 19th and we are supposed to get 10 inches of snow.  Ironically, my golf league called this morning and said there is a meeting Monday to discuss the new golf rules.  Don’t they know there won’t be a golf season.  Winter goes on and on.  To make things worse, it is thundering outside complementing the snow.  Sh–.

Now the ultimate prize.  In this perfect world, 60% of the country is overweight and obesity runs rampant.  A man went to a sports event (I think arena football) and won the first prize from a local donut shop.  It consisted of 365 daily coupons for coffee and donuts.  Each day, a coupon would be presented and breakfast was free.  The value placed on the daily coupon was around $3.  After a year, the man consumed a “kazilian” calories and probably put on 20 pounds.  But then there was the ultimate payoff.  The man got a 1099 tax statement requiring him to report over $1000 (the estimated value of his donuts) on his income taxes.  Is this a great Country or what.  You can become a “lard ass” by winning a contest and then be privledged to pay a penalty besides.

My mother always said look at the “bright side”.  We haven’t had a tsunami lately. That is positive.  We don’t have a damaged nuclear power plant pouring deadly radiation into our water, ground and air.  We don’t have 17 tornados bearing down on us.  We don’t have an “oil spill” in the Gulf contaminating fish and wildlife.  So Mom, I see the bright side.  The white “stuff” outside is beautiful.

Stay warm.

Love,

Dad

 

I see that Barry Bonds, the current home run champion of all time has been found not guilty of most charges dealing with use of steroids.  There is one charge left of lying to a grand jury.  My guess is he won’t even get jail time.  Who cares?  Bonds only hurt himself and his own reputation.  We let O.J.Simpson go free on a technicality for killing two people.  So stop wasting government time and money to catch a liar.  Bonds is in his own “jail”.  Go after the drug suppliers.

Milwaukee has a Board of Directors for administering Food Stamps.  It appears that several of the Board members are guilty of stealing $290,000 worth of food stamps over 4 years.  I will bet that the guilty parties never serve one minute of jail time.  Food stamps are the “life line” for people and families that really need them.  It seems to me that State government ought to tighten up their procedures and prosecute the thieves.  Hey, they want Bonds for lying.

Over the past few years, a day care center in Milwaukee (actually there were many day care centers) reported having more kids in their care than actually used the service.  The State government reimbursed the day care center for all kids that weren’t even there.  The owner of the day care center built a $1.6 million home in suburban Milwaukee.  The case has been in the court system for several years.  The owner will be fined and given a suspended sentence and slip back into society.  Remember, they want to throw Bonds in jail for lying!

Our government just announced they saved $38 billion from our current national budget.  It turns out that money had been allotted for new programs (most we didn’t need in the first place).  So the $38 billion was scratched out of the budget and government officials took credit for saving us big money.  We didn’t save any money.  We just didn’t spend it in the first place.  It is like telling your spouse that you saved $40,000 because you didn’t buy the truck you were thinking about.  Do we put public officials in jail for lying?

So leave Barry Bonds alone.  Yes he did some things wrong.  We’ve got bigger issues.

Love,

Dad

 

Donald Trump (the self-centered billionaire who stars on “Celebrity Apprentice”) is going to write his autobiography (about himself).  It will be a love story.

I admit that I am getting older!  I was walking the Mall yesterday when I was propositioned by a sexy lady.  She said she would do anything I wanted for $100.  I accepted her offer.  She is now painting our house.

Sunday night was spent watching weather channels.  Weather pre-empted regular programming because of severe weather conducive to tornados and hail.  The new acronym used by meteorologists is PDS.  It stands for potential developing situation.  Grasshopper No.3 admitted that for the first time ever, he moved to the basement because tornados were being reported in the area.  They hit in Menasha and Kaukauna so they were all around.  The good news is we were spared any damage.  The bad news is we missed “the Amazing Race” and “Celebrity Apprentice” usually on regular TV.

I heard the expression “Kick the Can” this morning.  I remember playing the game as a kid on an empty lot in downtown Plymouth.  My recollection of all the rules is vague but the game was played with a real tin can and one person was “it”.  The “it person” had to guard the can while trying to find all the other players.  If someone could kick the can while the searching effort went on, the game started over with “it” still being the keeper of the can.  Kicking the can meant that the outcome of the game would go on and on and on.  Our Federal government keeps kicking our financial future down the road.  Our national debt keeps rising, spending on government programs keeps increasing and our elected officials keep deferring decisions on reducing social programs.  Maybe we should call it “Kick Financial Responsibility”.

Twelve more days of Lenten sacrifice.

Open your windows and let the air blow.

Love,

Dad