Ace Wisdom

I turned your Mom loose on the Hyatt in Minneapolis to refute our recent bill. You don’t want your Mom angry. Yep, we got our money back!

My dilemma last night was choosing between the play “Chicago” at the PAC or attending a Clark Howard presentation. “Chicago” was the winner. It was spectacular as always and John O’Hurley (from Seinfeld fame) was excellent as sleazy lawyer Billy Flynn.

Clark Howard’s idea of a “night out” is eating at Culvers. Butter Burgers and soft serves. That is why he is rich!

Puff puff, oh what a relief it is!  I had the quick follow up laser treatment to the back of one eye.  The total time I saw the doctor was 3-4 minutes.  The rapid fire laser (puff puff) treatment took 10-20 seconds.  Our insurance will pay $1400.

I understand that Charter cable is the new owner of Time Warner Cable. The “merged” company will be bigger allowing them to be more efficient, present more program options and reduce my costs. Right! If you believe that, you also believe in the Easter Bunny.  I wonder what kind of clever ways they are going use to screw me over now?

Just a note on Zika.  Mr. Boldt (I forget his first name), the fastest human in the world has world record times in the 100 meter and 200 meter dashes. He will be performing (for Puerto Rico ?) in the upcoming Olympics in Rio. He was asked if he was concerned about the Zika virus. Boldt’s answer was “hell no, I’ll just out run it”.

Weather turning really nice. Enjoy!

Love,

Dad

 

 

 

 

Grandson Tommy won “Most Improved Trap Shooter in Sheboygan County” Congratulations! He has the trophy to prove it.  Next stop?  The Olympics.

I have to update Grandson Dominic’s quest for his first car.  I thought (and he did too) that he was going to buy a Ford Crown Victoria Interceptor.  Alas, somebody purchased it first.  He chose a 2003 (?) Pontiac Bonneville. I understand he won’t drive it to school because of all the lousy drivers.  He certainly doesn’t want a wrinkled fender!

I had mentioned that I had a anonymous phone call last week telling me that the IRS was about to bring a lawsuit against me (it was a scam).  I see in the paper that the same people called the an Outagamie Sheriff with the same scare of a lawsuit. Unlike me, the Sheriff called them back.  The call originated in Afghanistan.  The caller said his name was Malma Dahli and admitted his job was to steal from people. At that point the line “went dead”.  My suspicions of a scam were confirmed.

We visited Grasshopper No.5 last weekend. She is a great host! She is our favorite (host that is).  I learned a whole new language in Minneapolis.  When you visit Whole Foods, it is referred to as “a hole in your pocket” store because everything is so pricey.  Target is the “$100 store” because you go in intending to pick up an item or two and inevitably spend $100.  IKEA is the $200 store.

Your Mom and I stayed at the Hyatt in Minneapolis because it is close to everything.  I got an e-mail before our trip indicating I could upgrade to a big hospitality suite for $10 a night.  Of course being a big spender, I clicked on the $10 button.  It is hard to feel sorry for people staying in a suite but here goes my attempt to extract pity.  First, the suite wasn’t ready when we arrived (that has never happened to us before), the bed accommodations were not what I had ordered and we didn’t get the extra special service we had been promised. Awwwwe!  When the bill was slipped under my door, they charged us $20 per night (not $10).  I complained at the desk and the clerk said he needed “manager approval” to reduce the rate.  The manager was not “in” yet.  It has been two days and I haven’t heard anything about an adjustment. A–holes! I should know better.

I’m blogging from my new computer chair.  No, I didn’t buy it at IKEA.

Love,

Dad

I just had a phone call warning me that the IRS was planning to file a lawsuit against me and I needed to call an 800 number referring to a “case number”.  Isn’t there a national scam using the IRS to scare people?  For real!

Morning Dove birds continue to dive bomb my driveway with streaks of white stuff.  Ugly?  Maybe they could target the IRS.

I got home from walking this morning and the spring on a garage door broke.

And as I type this your Mom is meeting a man at a motel in Sheboygan!  Really!

When it “rains it pours”.  Just kidding.  Life happens.  Good and Bad.

I see that the Lake Fly phenomenon along Lake Winnebago is occurring this week. Lake Flies are a microcosm of Life.  The flies are born.  They live one day.  They die.  Left unattended, they smell like dead fish and create a mess of goo.  And then they are forgotten.  What can a fly accomplish in one day? What can a human accomplish in 80 years (out of millions of years)?

I have also come to realize that my world includes:

• My regular doctor.
• My heart doctor.
• My eye surgeon (cataracts).
• My regular eye doctor.
• My dentist.
• My oral surgeon.
• My hearing aid specialists.
• My dermatologist.
• My Chiropractor.
• My Druggist.

I bet if Lake Flies had that kind of help they’d live longer!  Maybe 2 days!

Love,

Dad

 

Happy Birthday Grandson Grant.  Tomorrow he turns 21.  I think that legally qualifies him for everything.

Grandson’s Dominic and Tommy competed in the State High School Trap meet on Saturday.  Respective scores were 82 and 77.  Close, but no cigars.  I know that one contestant had a 95. I am not an expert but I know that strong winds and particularly “gusts” blowing into the face of shooters cause the clay pigeons to do funny things.  Many “pigeons” floated upwards unexpectedly.  It is fun to watch.

Dominic can blame some difficulties on his new Browning rifle.  I don’t know if he was totally familiar with it?  Is owning a Browning extra special?

I am familiar with buying extra special golf clubs. I was always looking for some special voodoo. Over many years I kept buying better irons, special woods and even experimented with different putters.  I found out the problem was not the clubs.  It was me.  Does the same thing apply to Brownings?

What is a Crown Victoria Interceptor (?) designed for police departments? I know Grandson Dominic has his eyes on a used one.  Something about big V-8 engines, mega horsepower and wide tires.  It probably will run forever.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge May 7, the anniversary of Victory in Europe. In World War II, Germany surrendered.  Hitler had committed suicide several weeks earlier. The good news was that the ‘anti-Christ” had killed himself.  The bad news was that war in the South Pacific was still raging.  My Dad was in the Phillipines.  I remember.

Mother’s Day came and went. It was nice!

Love,

Dad

 

 

 

 

One of the Ten Commandments is “Honor Thy Mother”.  Sunday is Mother’s Day! She represents unconditional love.  Be sure to give her a big hug.

As you know, I have not renewed our season UW-football tickets.  I got a phone message I should call the ticket office.  I figured after 25 years they were going to encourage me to continue my support.  They asked for my name and an indication on whether I was going to renew or not.  They thanked me and hung up.  That’s it? Big money contributors get testimonies.  Little guys “get it in the shorts”.

Grasshopper No.2 has her little red convertible.  I found a little maroon convertible for sale of the same “make” yesterday.  The discovery has just reached antique status (1990-1991). Sigh!  Double Sigh?  No.!

There has always been a rumor about friendly ghosts at the Pfister Hotel in downtown Milwaukee.  Visiting Major League baseball teams stay there.  One player swore he laid out his clothes for the next day on a table and awoke to find the clothes on the floor and the table moved to a corner. Boogedy, boogedy.  Well strange things have been going on at our house.  Our garage door has been found open 3-4 times.  No it is not dementia.  When I lock our doors at night, I always check the garage doors.  Several times in the morning, the doors have been wide open.  How do you explain our kitchen TV blaring away when I “got up” several days ago (right after Time Warner visited)?  We have our own boogedy, boogedy. I suspect somebody in the area has the same radio frequency for door openers as we do. The TV I can’t explain.

The State High School Trap shooting tournament is tomorrow in Mayville.  I know there is a rhythm to the process.  Good luck to Tommy and Dominic.

Love,

Dad

 

 

Grandson’s Dominic and Tommy will compete in the State Trap Shooting Championship this weekend.  Dominic won a State Championship two years ago.  I understand that recently, Tommy (3 years younger) beat his older ‘brutter’ by breaking 22 clay birds versus Dominic’s 20 clay birds out of a possible 25..  Luck? I hear footsteps.

Your Mom and I were going to watch the 4th episode of the “Outlander” Saturday night.  We have subscribed to Starz for the express purpose of getting the Outlander series.  We could not get Starz.  We got a big blank screen that said “try later”. Your Mom kept asking me, “what the Hell are we paying for”?  Yes Time Warner was here yesterday and “fixed things”?

As you know I let my season tickets to UW football games lapse this year.  Lots of reasons.  Lousy non-conference games mostly in September.  Extended football almost to December (cold, cold, cold).  My one regret is that there are one or two really good Big 10 games that I do like to see.  This year Ohio State comes in on Oct. 15 and Nebraska on Oct. 29.  ESPN has seen to it in their infinite wisdom to schedule both games for Prime Time night presentation meaning they start a 7:00 PM.  TV with it’s big money wins. I hate night games!  The “bottom line” is that UW football has made it real easy to have no regrets about dropping my tickets. What ever happened to warm Saturday afternoon football?  Beer drinking was a sport at the games.  Young ladies got passed over the top of fans right out of the stadium.  Rushing the field meant somebody got trampled.  Ah yes, the good old days.

Sugar seems to be the target of health experts these days.  Why not!.  In the past, experts have targeted fat, carbs, calories, salt, and different additives including aspartame. My buddy, Warren Buffett (who owns 10% of Coca Cola) was asked about “why would he want to own a company that puts so much sugar in it’s products”  Sugar can kill you!  Buffett drinks 5 cans (12 ounces each) of cherry Coke every day.  He has done this all his life (at least as long as he can remember). He is now 87 years old. He is happy, not to mention rich.  He is not about to change. Obviously he has not succumbed to the dastardly evil presence of sugar.  By the way, he owns SEE candies and DAIRY QUEEN which are loaded with sugar.

I am not an advocate of sugar, quite the contrary!  I do think you have to take things in moderation, balance and use some common sense.  Dah!

Love,

Dad

 

 

Grandson Dominic turns 18 tomorrow.  There was a time when 18 qualified for drinking beer legally.  I think those days have passed.  Happy Birthday Dominic.

You know life is “passing you by” when a Grandson asks what a “78 record” is. You also know age is a factor when your companion says your BMW sits too low.

Grandson Mitchell played football all through high school.  He was a starter on the Middleton (Madison) team playing on offense, defense and special teams.  He starts college at Iowa State in the Fall.  I asked if he had any interest in football at Iowa State.  Surprisingly he indicated that he was looking into a potential “walk-on” status.  Keep watching ESPN.

Grandson Grant is continuing his education at Madison Area Technical College.  I think they changed their name to Madison College because the acronym conflicted with Milwaukee (also MATC).  I asked him what he learned so far?  He said “don’t put your finger in a live electrical socket”.

Grasshopper No.2 was looking to buy a updated SUV.  Instead she fell in love with a 15 year old red, 2-seat convertible.  I guess the rationale is that by driving the sexy convertible, she don’t add miles to her present SUV.  Okay, I’ll buy that.  It is an established fact that red cars get the most speeding tickets.

The Packers drafted a defensive tackle last night in the first round of the NFL draft.  6 foot-3 inches tall.  315 pounds.  Long wing span.  He can dunk a basketball. Packer “crazies” should be ecstatic.  I remember when the Packers played the Detroit Lions in 1962.  Detroit had one of the first 300# linemen in the NFL, Les Bingham.  He played center.  He was rather short and had a beer gut.  Now everybody is 300 pounds and is “chiseled”.

May Day Sunday!

Love,

Dad