Ace Wisdom

Every year approximately 64 teams (actually 68) are chosen to compete in the NCAA college basketball tournament. Every team dreams that they can win. Every player fantasizes about sinking a basket at the buzzer to win the national championship. You know, the crowd goes wild. Teammates mob you for sinking the shot. The world will love you.
Every year there is a betting pool called “bracketology”. People all over America fill out a form with their learned picks to win each and every game. If you pick every one of the 63 games correctly, you will win the company “pool”. That means picking up a couple of bucks and you can brag about how smart you are.
When I was working, we had a NCAA pool every year and I think you could win $100. I remember one year a wife of an employee won by picking her favorite mascots. You know like Badgers, Grizzly’s or Running Rebels. Clearly there was embarassment shared by all the smart guys. Another woman (a girlfriend to an employee) won by picked the prettiest uniform worn by different teams. It confirms that dumb a– luck determines the winner. Dah!
Your Mom has entered a NCAA basketball pool this year. She has paid her money and if she picks the winner the payoff will be $50. She asked me for assistance in filling out the “picks”. Imagine, she asked me, the expert. I have never won. I have never come close. I have advice for her. Flip a coin for every game. She probably will do better.
The truth is your Mom took my form with all my picks and copied. If she wins, I think she should share with me. Yeah, right. Copying my basketball picks insures she doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning.
But, the fantasy continues. Somebody has got to win. Maybe this is the year. Because the tournament takes place over 3 weeks, her hopes will die a slow death.
To all you silly people who believe you can win the basketball pool, I have some swamp land I’d like to sell you.
Love,
Dad

A belated Happy Birthday to daughter-in-law Shelby Jean. Her birthday was yesterday and she is as young as ever. Now the goal is to get her feeling better.
I do my morning excercise and engage other people in discussions. This morning the subjects all seem to be about medical issues. As I get first hand information about medical situations, I become an expert. That is what old people do. They talk about medical issues. I know Marjorie in California allows each person at a gathering to talk 5 minutes about their medical condition and then they can not talk about it again that evening.
This morning it started with hemorrhoids. I know they pertrude from your butt, they itch and must be treated with “metamuscil” for fiber (1 tablespoon mixed with 8 ounces of orange juice). I bet you didn’t know that.
Next was a discussion about prostate cancer. The recommended age to start testing for the cancer in men is around 50 years of age. The advice is “test for it earlier” because a friend discovered the cancer at age 35. Get a “psa” test early. I didn’t know that!
Gall bladder surgery is done with robotics and they can suck the organ out of your body making only 3 small holes.
A cancerous spleen can be removed and you can live a long full life without it.
A stoke affects people differently. The risk is permanent speech loss and loss of physical coordination.
Then there is always common denominator problems like weight loss, gout, chloresterol, and diabetes.
As you can tell, I’m becoming an expert on medical issues. I think I’ll start my own medical advice website.
Enjoy the warm.
Love,
Dad

We went to see the stage production of Mary Poppins last night. You know: “A spoon Full of Sugar Makes the Medicine Go Down”, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidoshis (?)”, and “Step in Time”. Your Mom remembers taking a couple Grasshoppers to the movie theater to the the film release of Mary Poppins starring my sister Julie Andrews and Dick VanDyke. Timeless!
Our freezer compartment on the Sub-Zero refrigerator puked. God sends messages in funny ways. I had purchased a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice creme. I’m supposed to behave myself with sugar intake and “Chunky Monkey” isn’t on the preferred list. When the freezer crapped out, my ice cream turned to mush so I had to throw it out. I got the message.
A story today in the Milwaukee paper was about a company that was awarded $10 million for developing a “green”, efficient light bulb. It is an LED design, very efficient and sells for $50 per light bulb. Now there is a wise government award of $10 million. An efficient light bulb that nobody is ever going to buy! Is this a great country or what?
My recent insight on the potential of Marquette going far in tournament play went down the toilet last night. They lost their first game of the Big East tournament. It isn’t even the NCAA tournament play yet. What the hell?
Weather turns to 50-60 temperatures next week. Do I dare think of getting snow tires off?
Love,
Dad

I was doing my morning exercise routine this morning. A “couple” I walk with occasionally indicated that I was obviously a very social person. Yes sir, that is me. “Mr. conversation”. Just call me a social butterfly.
The rumor is that subscribers to Facebook are dumping unwanted friends at a frantic rate. Could it be that some people in your universe just aren’t friends?
We ordered a new “super” chair for my TV viewing pleasure. We were told that it would take 2-3 weeks to get delivery from a New York warehouse. The have been cases when a chair has arrived in 10 days. Guess what I heard? Right! I heard it would be here in 10 days. Well it is 11 days and counting. So we suffer on!
Basketball mania is here. Year end tournaments abound. Don’t forget to pick your favorite college teams in the NCAA tournament sweepstakes. Actually Marquette could be a great tournament pick.
This weekend is day-light savings time. You lose an hour. Spring ahead. When I was working, I hated losing an hour over a weekend. I felt cheated on my personal time off.
Forecast for today is 50 degrees. March 6! 50 degrees? Somebody is screwing with us.
My advice is “don’t shovel any snow”. The sun will take care of everything.
Love,
Dad

Wednesday night I was awakened by a loud “clunk” sound coming from the street. Normally noises don’t bother me. I looked out the window at the driveway and there was a big dark thing laying on the ground next to my mailbox. Wait! It was my mailbox. Some a–hole had smashed my mailbox knocking it off it’s pedestal. I know kids like to drive along with baseball bats and smash mailboxes from the moving cars.
The next morning my priorities were clear. Get a functioning temporary mailbox and then find out what it would take to fix the box permanently. First things first though. I did my morning exercise routine.
On the way home I stopped at Home Depot and Fleetfarm to find out what a new mailbox costs. I found something similar (made out of plastic) for about $50. I didn’t buy anything because I wanted to take the old one apart first.
When I got home, our neighbor from across the street saw me picking up pieces of the broken box. She rushed out of her house and got my attention. Her first words were “I think we are responsible for your broken mailbox”. Apparently she had a group of kids from church over and when the kids were leaving, one must have backed into my mailbox. She said “they would pay for all damages and that her husband was leaving work early that day to buy a new one and fix it”. I wouldn’t have to do anything.
My fortunes went from “crap” to “euphoria”. Now it wasn’t my problem and it wasn’t going to cost me anything.
Being the impatient person I am, I solicited the lunch hour help of Grasshopper No.3. With his help, we bought a new mailbox and had it quickly installed. i gave the bill to my neighbor and they paid me immediately.
I got to bond with my neighbors across the street. They turn out to be pretty nice people.
I got a new mailbox for free.
Now I’m set up to keep getting those “bills” in the mail along with all the stupid advertising stuff. Maybe, just maybe, I should have left the mailbox lay on the ground. Then the world would have one less way of communicating with me. That would be a real improvement of fortunes.
Snow is moving into the lakeshore late this afternoon. I know some people that live in Sheboygan and they will get a chance to shovel that white stuff. Have fun.
Stay warm.
Love,
Dad

I had put in my application for “Dancing with the Stars”. I figure if Emmitt Smith and Hines Ward could win the coveted “Mirror Ball”, it can’t be that hard. The new season begins in a few weeks.
I saw the list of new participants for the “dancing season” and I’m not on it. Would you believe they picked Donald Driver of the Green Bay Packers. Just because he is smiling all the time. Just because he puts “family” first. Just because he has a chiseled granite physique. Just because he has name recognition. Yep, they picked Donald and not me.
The search for a replacement recliner chair continues. In the meantime I have been spending more time downstairs on the comfortable couch watching big screen TV. This falls into the category of “occupying your Mother’s space”. You can bet the chair selection won’t take very long.
All the weathermen (and women) have been saddened lately by the boring warm weather. There lives have been without purpose. Rejoice! A messy weather system in coming in tonight and conditions keep changing. Snow, sleet, and rain. Temperatures above freezing. Does it get any better? Weathermen can use the blues, reds, pinks and silvers to highlight warnings, advisories and severe conditions. They can interrupt TV broadcasts to bring latest weather conditions. Sh–.
NASCAR finally finished the Daytona 500. One day of rain delay followed by a freak accident between a race care and an emergency track maintenace truck. 200 gallons of jet fuel were spilled all over the track and it took several hours to clean it all up. That causes me to wonder how you can clean 200 gallons of jet fuel off a race track and I can’t get a jelly stain out of my sweatshirt. I must use the wrong cleaner.
Stay warm.
Love,
Dad

Many years ago we bought a green “recliner” chair. It is leather and for me, has been very comfortable. The chair and I have logged a lot of TV together. It is about 20 years old.
The chair has degenerated to an eye-sore. The mechanical mechanism has been failing for several years and I have found nuts and bolts underneath as they break and fall off. The cushion has been coming apart at the seams. Yes, I have resorted to using duct tape to hold the seat cushion together. It does look kind of “seedy” when you use light green duct tape on dark green leather. Too bad I couldn’t find a matching color duct tape.
Bottom line? My favorite chair “puked” (Grasshopper No.5’s terminology). It won’t recline. The seat cushion slides to the right and it still has the duct tape.
Here we go! The search for a new special chair begins. I’ve tried to find a replacement once before and couldn’t find anything that I liked. I would like to add a few features like a rocking motion along with a pivoting base. Maybe something stunning like a bright red or burnt orange.
Because I watch TV from the recliner, maybe an alternative bean bag chair would work. It is cheaper. I can press it into any shape. I know it comes in vivid colors.
Stay tuned. My world has changed. I’ve been told I don’t take change well.
There is one thing certain. Like Grasshopper No.1 I hate shopping. Shopping for a new chair will be a short exercise.
Stay warm.
Love,
Dad