Ace Wisdom

Your Mom and I attended sister-in-law Jane’s viewing at Sheboygan’s Ballhorn funeral home last night. We got to spend significant time with brother Jerry’s family. Nice. Sad.

For some reason, every time your Mom and I get into the Sheboygan area, our car takes control of our life. Twice this week our car took us to Chester’s “drive-in” in Plymouth. There was nothing we could do. We had to go where the car took us. Curses.

One of the trips to Chester’s caught us by surprise. We parked, ordered our food and then noticed a red truck parked about 20 feet away. I knew that truck. It was a Chevrolet. It was bright red. It had extra gas tanks mounted in the back bed. Hey, I know the driver. It was Grasshopper No.3. Really? We visit Chester’s once or twice a year and there sits No.3. The story goes he was heading to Sheboygan Falls to quote a construction project and his truck took him to Chester’s. I’m not sure how many times No.3 gets to frequent Chester’s but he won’t be able to bullsh– me any more about how hard he is working.

We upgraded our “glorified” Toyota with a similar model. It has a backup camera which is really nice. Unexpectedly, I found a remote control “key bob” in the new car. I thought the salesman had lost it. It turns out the “key bob” belongs to the car. The previous owner had a “remote start” feature installed in the car. This winter we will be able to start the engine from inside a building and the car will be warm by the time we get to it. Now I have to figure out how to use the damn thing.

Lots of things to do this weekend. Summerfest in Milwaukee. Lifefest in Oshkosh. Milwaukee Brewers playing in Milwaukee and giving away free Bob Uecker alarm clocks. I can’t think of anything better than Uecker ringing my bell every morning.

Stay cool.

Love

Dad

 

We got notice yesterday that my brother Jerry’s wife Jane had passed away on the morning of July4. Our sympathy goes out to Jerry and his whole family. Jane had endured several heart operations in recent years. Sometimes the “parts” just wear out. I’m guessing that visitation will be on Thursday.

Your Mom and I used Marcus Theater gift cards to see the movie Tarzan over the weekend (so it was free).  We had lounge chairs with reclining capability. Beverage holders. 3-D. After the movie, your Mom said she liked Tarzan. I said I did too. Then she said, “no I really liked Tarzan”. Needless to say she hurt my feelings. She don’t remember but there was a time I was “buff” like Tarzan.

Mom and I were invited to grill out with Grasshopper No.1 and husband Tom on the 4th. Tom experimented with some exotic concoction using a head of cabbage. The cabbage was mounted on top of an open can of beer (and basted with Bar-b-que sauce) Apparently the head of cabbage drew the beer into it’s body with a capillary action. Beer. Cabbage. Bar-b-que sauce. People will do anything to have a beer. No, I didn’t get any.

Grasshopper No.4 got free golf lessons and a free rebuilt shaft on his driver thanks to Grasshopper No.3 plowing snow for Bob Burns Golf Business over recent years. No.4 now goes to the golf course with new confidence and a rebuilt shaft. Bob Burns indicated that sometimes the “improvement comes from the Indian and sometimes the Indian needs a better arrow”. Here comes the Acewisdom. If you are struggling with your golf game, it ain’t the arrow.

I dropped out of the National Hot Dog Eating Contest after two “dogs”. I let Joey Chestnut win with 70 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Hey, I don’t need the glory of being “Hot Dog Champion”.

Enjoy the week!

Love,

Dad

 

 

Growing up in Plymouth, the local canning factory (Stokely) concentrated on growing, harvesting and “canning” peas. Early peas are now in season. As kids, we would tear an armful of sweet peas on the vine off Stokely trucks as they slowed to a Stop at intersections. Then we would sit on the roadside curb and eat peas (followed by chewing on the pod). This morning I was given sweet peas from the garden by friends. They are organic. There were no vines and I’m told eating the pods is a nutritious thing. Hey, I’m 12 years old again.

The 4th of July is Monday. The privilege of Independence is special!

Grasshopper No.3 has promised for the third year in a row to take his Dad down to Crystal Lake to cruise with his refurbished boat. Yeah, right! At least No.3’s heart is in the right place. Boating on Crystal has changed. No.3 used to open up our Glastron boat and hit speeds of over 60 miles per hour. His new boat theoretically can top 90 mph. Alas, Crystal Lake has imposed speed limits for all power boats. We would be allowed to race across the lake at 35 mph.

Car purchasing has changed. I have inquired about a few used models at local dealerships. They know everything about me (the buyer). They know in detail what cars I own. They know where and when I bought them. I suppose they know the color of my underwear! The dealers also know and control all internet data. They have the same blue book info, average trade-in values and suggested retail data that we buyers have. It takes all the nasty negotiation out of buying. There really isn’t a lot of “wiggle room” for creating a deal. I guess the best chance for a deal is from a private seller who is hungry to unload their car. Stay tuned.

Fireworks someplace Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Best fireworks ever were from a hillside overlooking the Sheboygan harbor on a clear night. Ooooh! Aaaahhh!

Enjoy

Love,

Dad

 

 

Happy Birthday to Grasshopper No.4.  His birthday is tomorrow. He got to golf at Whistling Straights north of Sheboygan on Sunday.  The course is patterned after ancient English courses and it is expensive! It must be nice. I’ve been told you have to avoid the herd of goats that roam the course (really). They could eat your balls. I think No.4’s friend won a round of golf for 4 in a raffle so it was free (?). May your whole birthday week be filled with fantasy and fulfilled wishes.

Happy Birthday to Grandson Nevin.  He and No.4 were born on the same day. Nevin has always been a skateboard fanatic.  I notice as he “matures” that his commitment to extreme skateboard ventures is lessening. You can hurt yourself on those things.

It has dawned on me that someday I will unknowingly purchase my last car.  I know a couple (both over 85) that have two cars.  Both cars are old.  One is a 1990’s vintage Oldsmobile Station wagon (huge size) and a 2000 Oldsmobile Intrique sedan.  They don’t buy a new car because they don’t want to have to learn the complexity of modern cars.  Things like electronic transmissions or electronic display monitors. In effect they have bought their last car(s).

Iola, Wisconsin hosts a 3 day car show in a couple weeks.  There are many vintage cars on display.  Maybe I’ll go “back to the 50’s” and buy a blue, 1951 Oldsmobile convertible like I owned in high school. It wasn’t the best car I ever owned but it was fun.  I got to date my best girl while owning that car.  Once I procure the Olds I’ll look for a high mountain.  Like Thelma and Louise I can fly off into forever.

Or, like Grandson Collin suggests, I’ll get a BMW M5 and head for Road America where I could “open that baby up”. It would be a different kind of “flying”.

Or, I could buy a Toyota Prius and try to save mankind by reducing engine pollution. No “flying” possible with this choice.

Or, maybe I’ve already bought my last car?

My Grandpa Chalk dreamed of owning a Buick. He bought a Buick. He died owning a Buick!

Help me (actually a car loan would also be helpful)!  What should my last ride be?

Love,

Dad

The last episode of “Game of Thrones” contained a segment on trained dogs.  Big dogs.  Hungry dogs (they looked like over sized Pit Bulls) .  The master of the dogs had trained them to be aggressive and attack when ordered.  Last week, the dogs had also been starved for 7 days.  When the “master” was captured, he was put in a jail cell and his “hounds were unleashed”.  The last scene showed a big bad Pit Bull licking the face of his master before he ate his face.  Good family viewing!  I was stricken by the order “unleash the hounds”.

After 3-4 days of having Grandson Tommy stay with us this week to do meaningful things like spread mulch and cut bushes, we took him home last night. Mom and I were invited to stay for supper and the menu was large pizzas from Papa Murphy’s. After preparation, the pizza was sliced and ready to eat.  Your Mom and I were invited to make food selections first before Grasshopper No.4 “unleashed the hounds” in reference to turning Grandsons Dominic and Tommy loose on the food. It was the second time in a week that I had heard “unleash the hounds”. In both cases, you don’t want to stand between the food and the hounds.

Today was all about world financial fear. The English people voted to get out of Union of European countries (a group of 40 European countries operating in unison with common money and common rules). Now the English will again be independent.  Nobody asked me but the real issue was about immigrants.  England has been told that because they were part of European Union that had were required to allow a large quota of Muslim immigrants fleeing from Syria into Europe. The Muslim contingent contains some radicals that are seeking the 73 virgins promised upon sacrificing their lives. England people want to decide for themselves who they “allow in” their the country. Not be told!

We are letting Muslims into America!  How is that working for us? I just watched the funeral of 49 people in Orlando as some “nut” murdered in pursuit of his 73 virgins.

I don’t have the answer. Nobody seems too! I say slow everything down until we can figure it out.

Are Hillary and Donald listening?

Love,

Dad

 

Father’s Day came and went.  I used my rebate from purchasing new tires to celebrate at a local restaurant. Does that mean it was a free? Thank you for all the kind wishes.

Today is the first full day of Summer. I think yesterday was technically the Summer Solstice. Yesterday was the Strawberry Moon (full moon coinciding with the solstice).  What the hell does all that mean? Is it all witches and broomsticks?

Your Mom celebrated her birthday yesterday ending with dinner with friends (Me and Tommy). How great was that?

Grandson Tommy is visiting this week.  That means trimming bushes, spreading mulch and working for the boss (Mom). I’m informed that 15 year old Tommy spurted past 6 feet in height and is bumping 6 foot one inches tall.  People that are 6 foot tall are not common to “our” family tree.

I understand Grasshopper No.2 found a property for lease on the internet. Before she could be considered as a “serious prospect” she needed to provide credit reports from all three rating agencies.  It turns out the internet site marketing the property was a scam with the objective of getting personal financial information. I am not familiar with current credit reports.  I know they list credit card payment status, mortgage information and banking affiliations. Is there enough detail on the credit reports that “scammers” can profit from the info? I know that it is a pain in the a– to have to deal with potential problems.

For those you who watched the last episode of “Game of Thrones”, it certainly had lots of action. Fire breathing dragons, warring  armies with sword fights and clouds of a arrows and then ending with feeding of hungry dogs.  Good family entertainment.

Enjoy the week,

Love,

Dad

 

 

 

Sunday is Father’s Day.  Remember your Dad.  Think big!  Think expensive!

A special Happy Birthday to your Mom.  Her collective wisdom will increase by another year on Monday.  My guess is you don’t have to think expensive for her birthday.  Just love.

Your Mom and I did the “Fireside” thing yesterday. The presentation was “Rockin’ to the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s”.  What is not to like!  I recognized almost every song. When I think of it, anyone younger than 45 years old would have been born after the 70’s.  I guess the songs are only nostalgic to “old people”.  Oh my God, I’m one of “them” (old people).

Yesterday the Universe was just a “bubble off center”.  I experienced little annoyances. I burnt my morning toast.  The paper basket that held my ground coffee beans collapsed during brewing and I had coffee grounds in my morning brew. I pulled our mail from the mailbox and several envelopes fell the ground.  Of course, the letters fell in a puddle.  Do you ever get one of those days?

What didn’t fit yesterday’s “annoyances” was I got my rebate from my tire purchase. I now have $70 to spend on anything I want. What can I buy for $70. What would you suggest?

I really do feel everybody is entitled to live their life as they see fit.  I get annoyed by the “do-gooders” that want to save me from myself.  I see that the City of Philadelphia passed a 1.5 cent tax on all beverages sold containing sugar or caffeine. That means even my diet coke with caffeine will pay a tax penalty.  They want to save me from myself.  Prevent tooth decay. Prevent obesity. Avoid shaking from the caffeine. I guess the dastardly aspartame is not at issue.  What is next?  Apple pie and ice cream?

Monday is the longest day of the year signalling “Summer”.  Enjoy!

Love,

Dad