Ace Wisdom

Grandson Collin is in the area because he has been spotted once or twice.  He has been “on leave” from the Marines for the last 10 days.  He accompanied Grasshopper No.3 to Cleveland.  Collin was in a hurry to get back to Wisconsin so the Ohio trip was short.  There is  somebody named Audry that seems to be occupying his time.  Imagine that.  Audry is going to school in Milwaukee.

Today is “Fat Tuesday”.  New Orleans comes alive with it’s Marti-Gras celebration.  I think I’ll crank up my personal jet plane and zip down to join the party.  You know, dress up in stupid clothes, eat spicy cajun food, drink until “the morning hour” and probably end up with some strange disease.  Of course tomorrow we all repent for our transgressions and “give up something” for Lent.

Your Mom and I have had season tickets to UW-Madison football games for over 20 years.  There will be some changes this year!  Stay tuned.

I am on a learning curve with hearing aids.  The trick is to get the “computer controlled” aids adjusted for my particular situation.  I wish people would stop yelling at me to be sure I understand!

After the first 50 degree day, everybody will forget the lousy winter.

Love,

Dad

Today is the last day of February.  Tomorrow is what they call the “Meteorological Spring”.  Sunshine and warm days are on the way!

In the meantime, it is snowing again.  Grasshopper No.3 is in Ohio visiting so my primary snow removal effort is going to have to come from me.  This current snow storm might keep No.3 in Cleveland for an extra couple of days.  Now there is a lovely thought… being snow bound in Cleveland!

The Brewers first radio broadcast from Arizona began today.  Spring is around the corner.  “The boys of Summer are practicing”.

There is a man in this country that is addicted to Big Mac hamburgers.  He has eaten 2 Big Macs ever day for 42 years.  He is 63 years old and apparently in good health.  So much for junk food being bad for you.  By my calculations, that is over 30,000 Big Macs.

Finally the perfect job for “pot heads”.  Almost all companies have a drug testing program.  If you are taking drugs, they most certainly will be discovered in your system.  But now, with the legalization of drugs in the States of Washington and Colorado, if you apply for a job associated with growing or selling marijuana, you probably don’t have to take the drug test.  In fact, the company you work for may allow you to sample the products.  Is this a great Country or what?

Stay warm.

Love,

Dad

 

My dentist has the next best thing to an annuity.  You know!  Those financial investments that keep paying back money.  Me!

My latest video game is Turbo-Tax.  I turn on my computer, bring up the 2013 version of the tax program and begin filling in requested financial stuff.  Two hours later I push a button and I have 83 pages of Federal and State Income Tax forms.  That is before I print out my copies.  Are the forms correct?  Absolutely, my computer tells me so.  I still file the forms by mail because I am not smart enough to transmit electronically.  In another life I’ll learn to trust “bits and bytes”.

My luxury car dealer (BMW) has designed a car with electronic messages that appear on the dash at random times.  Their most common light is “service engine soon”.  It is a fear tactic.  If I don’t service the engine, will it explode?  So I try to schedule service and I can get an appointment in a week.  What if the engine breaks down?  I try to get an indication of what is wrong but all I got is “we can’t tell until we put it on computer diagnostics”. There is that damn electronic voodoo again.  Here is the bottom line.  The engine problem will be a surprise and expensive.  The computer said so!

So you can see between dentists, the tax man and the local car dealer, my increase in social security for the year has disappeared.

Love,

Dad

 

TV Lenny was an entrepreneur with an engineering degree.  He took over a family appliance business and turned it into “American”, the electronic, appliance, & furniture “big box store”.  Alas, they are closing their doors.  I guess the competition from Best Buy, Walmart and locally VanVreedes was too much.  “American” has a Wisconsin pedigree.

I remember that Grasshopper No.2 was going to UW-Wisconsin in Madison in the early ’80’s.  She wanted a new stereo system but she didn’t have enough money (and her parents wouldn’t buy if for her).  No.2 took a job at American as a security clerk.  Her job was to browse the store pretending to be a customer watching for people that were stealing merchandise.  I never personally liked the job for her because when shop-lifting occurs there can be some pretty violent confrontations.  For some reason I still remember some of the basic rules of security.  If somebody stole something, they had to be allowed to “clear the store” walking to the parking lot.  The theft officially occurs when they leave the store with merchandise without paying for it.  The customer needs to be confronted immediately and No.2 was told to always have a witness.  The big requirement was that No.2 had to be sure a theft ocurred because if a potential thief is confronted and they didn’t have stolen merchandise, “American” could be open to a lawsuit.  I don’t know how many people No.2 caught.  She did earn her stereo system.  Was there any doubt?

I see that Americans that win a gold medal at the Olympics get awarded $25,000.  It is kind of a nice reward for all the work they put in representing our country.  Oh yeah, they owe Federal Taxes on the money.  Really?

Fresh chili in the pot!

Last weekend of February!

Love,

Dad

Baseball training camps opened yesterday.

It snowed 6 inches yesterday.

Your Mom and I went to Fireside Sunday.  The performance was music from the 60’s.  8 professional band members and lots of great voices.

Sometimes I wish I could be someone else for a few minutes.  The band leader at the Fireside was a multi-talented musician.  He could play the piano.  He could  play the organ keyboard (sometimes both during the same song) and he could sing.  Best of all he was featured in 3-4 songs.  Add in a little dancing.  Mix a little “plea” to the crowd to clap and join along with the melody and you had a performance that brought the house down.  Yep, the is what I would like to do, be a multi-talented band leader with charisma.  I’d like to be able to bring the house down.  I guess I would have to start with piano lessons.  Is there time?  Does it pay good?

Grasshopper No.1 keeps providing good soups (chicken) and dishes (corned beef and cabbage).  Thank you No.1.  All donations are appreciated when you are retired.

With the snow that came through last night, I needed to strategically figure out my snow removal effort.  It stopped about bed time last night and I thought maybe I could snowblow before I went to bed.  Someone who lives with me said I “was not going out in the snow, cold and dark” to remove snow.  Okay!  And then!  And then!  Just as I was about to crawl into bed, I noticed the driveway was clear of snow.  Somebody had plowed it (Grasshopper No.3).  Then during the night, the city plows came through and blocked the driveway.  Oh sh–!  I got up this morning and my driveway entrance had been cleared.  Maybe the City came back because they felt guilty about filling my drive OR No.3 came back and cleaned everything up.  My neighbors did the sidewalks.  Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.  Thank you No.3

We are “well into the season” of Downton Abbey.

Love,

Dad

 

Today is Valentines Day.  You need to tell the one you love that “you love them”.

For anyone who doesn’t have a Valentine, I’m your guy.

The estimate is that on Valentines Day, $17 billion is spent on gifts.  Can’t you feel the love.  Your credit card does.  How about just a hug.

I have been avoiding candy since my heart operation.  I do think it has been a major factor in getting rid of extra weight.  I did buy a box of macadamia nut chocolate “Turtle” candies as a treat for Valentines Day.  I figure that there is a  lot of love in special chocolates.

I am told that movie stars pick their “stage names” by taking the name of the pet they had growing up and coupling it with the street they were raised on.  For example, my pet was a Boston bulldog name Boots (for the four white feet).  I grew up on Mill Street.  So my movie star name would be Boots Mill.  It sounds like a gangster.  I know your Mom had a cat named Cuddles and she lived on Plymouth Street.  Your Mom’s stage name would be Cuddles Plymouth.  Grasshopper No.2 had two hampsters named Ernie and Bert.  Now what do we do.  Ernie and Bert are not exactly appropriate first names for girl.

Sunday marks 6 months since “open heart surgery”.  It is amazing how time flies.

You can begin to feel the warmth from the sun as it gets higher in the sky.

Happy Valentines Day!

Boots Mill

A family member has proclaimed they’ve had just about enough winter!

Grasshopper No.1 said she has had a craving for Captain Krunch cereal, smoked chubs and bananas.  What the hell is that all about?

I have memorized the names of several famous people that were born on the same day in April as myself.  Warren Spahn, the winningest left handed baseball pitcher of all time along with Shakespeare were born on the 23rd.  Included in my list was Shirley Temple who as a child actress starred in movies in the 1930’s.  She died yesterday at age 85.  How can that be?  She is still young and singing “On the Good Ship Lollypop”.

I have had trouble sneaking out of the house.  The closet door near the garage squeeks.  The back door to the garage squeeks.  It has been difficult for me to “slip away” un-noticed.  Yesterday I found a fresh can of 3 in 1 oil and changed all that.  No more squeeks.  No more embarrassing noise in escaping the house.  I am free at last, free at last, free at last.

I was reminesceing with Grasshopper No. 3 about memorable gifts.  In 1959, my then “to be” father in law (Grandpa George) gave me a set of “1/4 inch” rachet wrenches with extentions all fitting neatly into a little green metal box.  I still have those wrenches today, 65 years later.  Little did Grandpa George know how meaningful that gift was to become.  Or, maybe he did?

What does a “smart” HDTV do?  Does that mean my Sony is “dumb”?

Stay Warm,

Love,

Dad