Ace Wisdom

I understand the new Samsung cell phone is a “hot item”.  One owner placed the phone under their pillow at night an the pillow caught fire.  Really?

Somebody bumped my German car at an intersection because they were not paying attention.  No damage.  A–hole.  Maybe the guy was on one of those new Samsung cell phones having a hot conversation.

Speaking ofhot conversations!  This week marks the 25th anniversay of the romantic movie “When Harry Met Salley” starring Billy Crystal and I think Meg Ryan.  It has the famous scene in a restaurant when Ryan says she can “fake” a romantic interlude. Crystal says she can’t.  She moans and rants and the whole restaurant is spellbound.  The woman at the next table comments “I’ll have what she is having”.  Why do I mention this?  Well, you can go to New York and visit the restaurant where the movie scene was shot.  In fact the same table is there to create the mood.  On average, once a week, a couple comes in and the female screams the same interlude.  Usually it gets a standing ovation.  So if you have room on your “bucket list”, go to Katzi’s Deli in New York and you too can perform to your  hearts content!  And get a standing ovation, no less.

Under “gadgets”, you can buy a drone and fly it around the neighborhood and spy on all your neighbors.  The “drone idea” is somewhat futuristic with all the creative things you can do with it.  I don’t know if I want drones looking in my bathroom skylight.

EAA this week.  Will the frivality never end.

Love,

Dad

 

First the good news.  My German car got 37.2 mpg over the last few days.  When I went to fill up with gas, prices were down 20 cents per gallon.  I guess you call that a “double bubble”.  Great mileage, lower gas prices.

I must apologize to the Green Bay Packer organization.  I  know they depend on me to provide leadership at their annual Stockholders meeting.  I thought the meeting was scheduled for Wednesday, but alas, it was yesterday, Thursday.  I am embarrassed because the video camera panned my seat at Lambeau repeatedly and I wasn’t there.  Your Mom made me go to the Fireside instead.  Can the Packer Nation forgive me?

Speaking of the Fireside, we saw the musical “Smokey Joe’s Cafe”.  It is always entertaining and the music outstanding.  I realized, during the performance, that “I couldn’t go back”.  I had mentioned previously that Grasshopper No.5, your Mom and I had seen our first “Smokey Joe” production in Washington, D.C., at the Kennedy Center in the 1990’s.  At that time, we had decided to take in the show on a whim and it turned out to be memorable (maybe even magical).  Ever since we saw that first Smokey Joe performance, we have made it a point to attend local amateur performances when possible.  We saw “Smokey Joe” at the Weidner Center in Green Bay.  We saw it yesterday at the Fireside.  I’m sure we are going to find tickets this Fall to see it at the PAC .  Part of the zeal is to recapture the original magic of the “first time” experience in Washington, D.C.  I have come to the conclusion that “you can’t go back”.  The original magic set the tone.  From now on everything is compared to the “original”.  And what’s wrong with that?  We captured a memory that will live forever.

Treasure the magic moments!  You know what they are!

Love,

Dad

Grasshopper No.5 is going camping!  Not just any camping.  This is “tent city” camping with sleeping bags, heavy duty rain gear and canoes.  Really?  Really!  I thought I taught all Grasshoppers that Holiday Inn looks pretty good at night.  It has showers, TV and internet access devices.  Holiday Inns do not have critters wandering around or bugs that bite.  Holiday Inns have bath rooms and air conditioning.  Why do we go camping?  To share experiences.  To get back to nature. To get back to our “roots”.  I hope Grasshopper No.5 takes a compass.

The Sheboygan football programs got underway last evening.  Wouldn’t you know it was the hottest day of the year.  Grasshopper No.4 is again coaching two teams.  One is as assistant coach of the High School JV team and the other is as coach of son Tommy’s Youth football team.  Tommy is 5’10” tall and only 13.  He ought to be able to knock a few opponents on their a–.  Grandson Dominic will be on the Sheboygan Varsity football team for the first time.  I know he can “squat” 410 pounds.  Dominic also should be able to knock somebody on their a–.

When I was in high school (yeah, there was a time), football started in mid-August.  There were no “off-season” conditioning programs.  There were 2-3 weeks of physical conditioning and then an 8 game league schedule.  And then, the season was over.  Everybody had fun.  Somehow we’ve taken this school extra-cirrular program and turned it into a year long endeavor.  Are we  having fun yet?

What is fantasy football?

Green Bay Packers veterans report Friday and Saturday.

Green Bay Stockholders meeting tomorrow!

Golly I’m busy lately.

Love,

Dad

I had played golf for over 50 years before I got my first “hole-in-one”.  It was at Whispering Springs in Fond Du Lac.  Grasshopper No.4 was my witness.

Recently I went to the driving range with Grandson Tommy.  He is learning to golf and is practicing with different clubs.  Tommy’s favorite is the “driver”.  That was my favorite too.  There is something about winding up and busting a long shot over the 250 yard sign (yeah, right).  The driver represents power.  The driver is fun.

Tommy did the impossible.  He managed to get a hole-in-one at the driving range.  My Grandson did it.  He wound up, took a mighty swing, hit the ball into “tomorrow” and proceded to tell me he just got a hole-in-one.  How could that be?  Well, Tommy swung so hard, he blew open the seam in the shorts he was wearing and said he felt a breeze.  Yep, he got a hole in the pants.  Not just any  hole you understand.  They were ripped from the belt line completely down into the crotch.  When my Grandson gets a “hole-in-one”, he does it with gusto.

Fortunately tearing your pants at the driving range limits the embarrassment.  There were only 2-3 other golfers practicing so nobody really noticed.  Somehow, once you’ve torn your pants open, it is hard to enjoy the golfing experience.

The only solution I can think of to prevent accidents like this in the future is to ask Tommy to stop growing.  He has surpassed his Dad in height making him around 5’10” tall and only 13 years old.  He is out-growing his clothes.  My plea to the Grasshopper No.4 family is “buy the kid some new clothes that fit”.

Grandson Tommy will get his legitimate hole-in-one some day.  All in good time.  It took me 50 years.

Love,

Dad

Grasshopper No.5 lives in Minneapolis, the site of the Major League Baseball All-Star game.  Usually the game is played on a warm Summer night.  Right!  Last night, Minneapolis temperatures were in the 50’s with a cold rain falling.

Monday night before the All-Star game is dedicated to the Home Run Derby.

The “little boy” in everyone who has ever played baseball, young or old, fanticizes about hitting tape measure home runs.  A home run is the ultimate statement.  The batter hits the ball so hard and so far that it allows trotting around the bases, waving to the crowd and getting a “hero’s” worship.  “Take that”!

My Dad could never totally let go of his “dream”.  The dream was to play in the major leagues, hit home runs and enjoy the adulation that comes with success.  He constantly found little ways to keep the fantasy alive.

I remember that every Tuesday and Thursday the City of Plymouth would provide a free baseball program at the City Park –  9:00 a.m.  My Dad would show up and become a coach of one boy’s team (12-16 years old).  The other coach was the Program Director, Warner Finke.  The coaches would choose teams by picking players on an alternate basis.  For a boy it was embarassing to be picked last.  The coaches didn’t sit on the bench; they played.  Both Finke and my Dad batted left handed and tried to hit pitches over a very, very short left field stone fence.  Of course, they hit many home runs.  The two coaches (both little boys at heart) had a chance to live their fantasy, just for a moment.  It might just as well have been a tape measure home run at Yankee Stadium to win the World Series.

So, laugh if you will at the Home Run Contest in Minneapolis.  Forget the cold and rain.  It is a lot of talented baseball players showing off.  The “little boy” in all of us was on display.  What is wrong with that?  I’m sure my Dad was watching.

Love,

Dad

 

 

The global warming phenomena has produced mild temperatures (downright cool) this Spring and Summer.  It will get hot.  The Kohler Company has shut down every year for 100 years during the last week in July and the first week in August.  They have found the two week period the hottest of every Summer and they try to accomodate the foundry employees by scheduling vacations.  Book it.  Hot.  Last week in July, first week in August.  Kohler is never wrong.

Grasshopper No.2 gave me a creative, colorful (lots of red color tones) picture of a swan for Father’s Day.  She named the framed picture “Red Swan”.  If you take our last name and re-arrange the letters, they spell out Red Swan.  Grasshopper No.2 challenged me to arrange the letters of our last name and come up with something better.  Alas, she is winning so far.  I have found “wanders” and “wardens” but I can’t get creative with those derivations.  So I now have the “Red Swan” mounted on the wall next to the Computer.  Go ahead.  Waste your time.  Try to find a better alternative of our last name.

I let a fortune slip away yesterday.  I stopped at the drive-thru at Panera Bread.  I handed a $10 bill to the attendant and she dropped it.  My car was pinned pretty tight against the building but I managed to open the door slightly and saw my “ten” against the building (I was able to reach it).  As I looked down for my money, I notice lots of nickels, dimes and quarter (even some pennies).  They had all fallen to the ground during money exchanges and people didn’t want to fuss looking for the cash.  I had the chance to get rich.  The problem was I couldn’t get the car door open to pick up the coins.   When I pulled ahead to leave, another car filled in behind me and I still couldn’t retrieve the fortune.  So I left the money lie there.  It is the story of my life!  Success seemingly within my grasp and then it slips away.

Love,

Dad

I think the “birthday barrage” is over for awhile.  It is amazing how many April, May and June birthdays there are in our family.

Grasshopper No.5 leased a Honda CRV recently.  She said she named it “Carleasee” as a tribute to the “dragon lady” from the HBO series Game of Thrones.  I know I mispelled the dragon lady’s name but the pronunciation should be correct.  No.5 acquired her car through a lease arrangement.  And like the dragon lady, the car is a “bad-a–” machine.  From the standpoint of being creative, I’d give Grasshopper No.5 an “A” for creativity.

I was asked recently what I named my “used” German car.  I didn’t know that cars had to have a name but I figured I could match No.5 with creativity.  My car is white.  It has great engine performance.  It gets 37 miles to the gallon on the highway.  Developing a car name should be easy.

My first pass for a name was “Hooch” which is a nickname for bootleg booze or more appropriately “white lightning”.  Yeah, that is my car.  White in color.  It goes fast.  The idea seems good but it takes too much explanation.

And then yesterday I was beginning to catch up on the AMC TV series “Breaking Bad”.  The lead character, a high school chemistry teacher gone astray by producing “crack”, is named Walter White.  I could name my car Wally White, a “bad-a–” character from Breaking Bad.  Get it?  White car.  “Bad-a–“.  Edgy.

In truth, I think Grasshopper No.5 has me beat with Carleasee.

I’m open to suggestion.  My car needs a name identity.

Love,

Dad