Ace Wisdom

One of the World’s largest cargo airplanes is on display at EAA this week. It carries water. When they have forest fires on the West Coast, these big planes swoop down over a body of water and scoop up thousands of gallons of water to be splashed on the raging fires. After a recent fire in California, fire fighters found a swimmer in a bathing suit with a mask and snorkel in the ashes. Apparently when the plane scooped up water it also picked up a scuba diver. The water and the diver were dumped on the water explaining how you find a dead diver in the remains of a forest fire. Be careful where you swim.

Oops, news flash just in. These big airplanes for scooping water only have maximum “pick-up” opening of 8 inches. A scuba diver would never fit in the belly of the aircraft. Somebody was stretching the truth. What the hell! Who can you believe? Oh, well there are always our politicians.

This last rant will at least make me feel better. When “we” download security software such as Norton, because of all the electronic intricacies, we never really know effective the security blanket really is. I’ve maintained Norton and it creeps up in price every year. This year Norton renewed automatically on my credit card and of course the price was again higher. I did not authorize (at least not knowingly), auto renewal. I never authorize auto renewal. Ever! So Norton and I are going to war. Now, I’ve got to see if I can get a voice to talk too! Bastards.

This will be the last weekend in July. Enjoy.

Love,

Dad

 

In the early 1980’s, our family bought a VCR for playing video tapes. There was a big controversy initially about the VHS format versus the BETA format. We eventually settled on VHS because it was universally favored. We even bought a VHS video camera to continue the format. The VCR is going the way of the buggy whip. The last VCR will be manufactured at the end of this month, July, 2016. The video tape technology lasted 33 years. Your Mom has many, many family memories in VHS format. If those memories are to be preserved, they need to be converted to a current format. What the hell is a current format?

I understand that one individual has maxed out the PokemonGo game challenges. He has captured 132 dastardly characters. In the USA, that is the most you can get. Apparently there are several “extra” characters available in foreign countries (like China and Japan). That means to be the ultimate world champion of PokemonGo, you must travel abroad. I think the design of the game is genius. I also think people need to get a life.

The Green Bay Packers started training camp this morning at 8:15 AM. They need to field a great team so they are successful and it protects my investment. I see that Jordy Nelson is listed on the injured, unable to perform list. All I’ve heard for months is that Jordy has been the model athlete and rehab has all been ahead of schedule. Then why is he listed as injured. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer sometimes but I would think the Packers are scared to death that Jordy might get reinjured during practices. They found out last year what happens when someone as fast (and smart) as Jordy is not in the receiving core. I bet Jordy is not “injured” when official season begins.

Your Mom and I watched several episodes of “Stranger Things” on Netflix last night. It reminds me a little of the X-files.

Stay cool.

Love

Dad

 

 

 

Several years ago at Christmas time, Grasshopper No.4 gave me a subscription to the “Dollar Shave Club”. It was an internet company that sold high quality razor cartridges through the mail at a cost of $1 per month. The Dollar Shave Club was boldly targeting Gillette and Schick razor products. Gillette costs $4-5 per month. Several days ago, Unilever (a consumer product powerhouse) bought the upstart Dollar Shave Club for $1 billion. Is this a great country or what! Oh, to be an owner of the DSC!

I went to the Green Bay Packer Stockholders meeting yesterday. It was scheduled to start at 11:00 AM. An electrical thunderstorm blew through and postponed the start to 11:45. I hope the storm is not an omen for the upcoming season. The annual meeting is really not about financial results. It is a lovefest. People show up in shorts, lots little kids, crying babies, and old timers spinning tales of years past. Packers have their own “field of dreams”.

I predict the the PokemonGo is peaking. As it reaches worldwide distribution, the business world is joining in and trying to use Pokemon for personal gain. Business will suck the fun out of the game. McDonalds has created a Japanese McPokey version of the GPS treasure hunt designed to bring players into McDonald restaurants. Fads come and go.

Air Venture in Oshkosh begins Monday. The air will be filled with lots of airplanes over the next week.

Hot and humid this weekend. Stay cool.

Love,

Dad

 

 

What is the “deal” in Sheboygan? People being shot during a robbery. Fishermen being swept off the South Pier (I think two died). It sounds like a dangerous place to live!

Grandson Tommy was fitted for football pads and uniforms yesterday. Here we go! It seems kind of early for high school football but in reality football conditioning is now a year around activity.

Tommy also has downloaded Pokemon Go onto his cell phone. It does require a lot of capacity. The popular final destination to capture the dastardly Pokemon figures is Fountain Park in downtown Sheboygan. I think Tommy is wasting his time. I’ve never seen a single Pokemon figure running around the Park.

I wonder how long the Pokemon fad will last?

It sounds like Grasshopper No.2 has sold her house. I am amazed at how fast homes seem to be selling in the Madison area.

We have seen two good movies lately. Nexflix “Fundamentals of Caring” and Vudu “Criminal”.

Is it just me or are days really starting to get shorter?

Lunch today with brother Jerry.

Love,

Dad

 

There has been a valuation of sports team franchises by Forbes magazine. The team I own (The Green Bay Packers) has an estimated market value of $1.95 billion (billion with a “b”). By my calculations, my one share is worth $415. I paid $200. Whoa! This is turning into a financial bonanza. Alas, there is no place to trade Green Bay Packer stock. I can retire to Lake Moneybegone!

The used “Toyota car” we bought recently has lots of lights, switches, blinking lights and warning signals. The instruction book is 875 pages long. Really! I don’t think the novel, “Gone With the Wind” had that many pages. No wonder old people are intimidated with technology. The immediate challenge is figure out how to turn the radio on.

I see that Hostess Ho-Ho’s and Ding Dongs have new life. The company was bankrupt several years ago. A venture capital company bought the company out of bankruptcy, pumped some money into it and will issue stock in a revitalized snack food company for $2 billion. Is this a great country or what? We can suck the filling out of Ding Dongs to our hearts content while making some investors rich.

The rest of my day will be spent tracking down some unsavory character on Pokemon Go downloaded on my cell phone. My only concern is that I become so absorbed in my quest that I do something stupid like walk into a car or step off a cliff (which already have happened by the way). Pokemon Go gives purpose to my life since my Hoverboard has been recalled. My Hoverboard burnt up.

Is “tech” really making my life better?

Love,

Dad

 

I was told a tale this morning of a sunken pleasure craft. In this case, a fishing boat complete with a 90 hp engine is languishing under the Wolf River and it’s owner will attempt to “raise” the boat.

Back in Spring of 1978, we had just purchased our first cottage. I decided we should own a boat that we could use to cruise Crystal Lake and possibly use for water skiing. An ad appeared in the local newspaper for a used “little red boat” (14 feet long) complete with trailer. It had a 60 hp Mercury outboard. $1400. Grasshopper No.3 went along to “look at it”. We bought it on the spot.

The boat was all fiberglass and did not have the flotation specifications in boats today. We found out later that the transom had been torn up (probably from the engine torquing the back of the boat when it hit bottom). The transom had been patched but it never was quite strong enough. The engine turned out to be worth the money. In hindsight, it probably was the perfect “starter boat”.

Which brings me to my “sunken” tale. We had the boat anchored to our pier and covered with a tarp. There was a severe thunderstorm in which the tarp blew off. Lapping water and rain filled the inside. The boat went to the bottom of Crystal Lake. Fortunately, the water along the pier was only 6-7 feet deep. The ropes holding the boat were still lashed to the pier. The motor was a black shadow beneath the water. I needed to get that boat out of the water. I needed to get the 60 hp engine out of the water. Who do I call? I called Grandpa George. Who else would I call? He knew how to fix things.

Grandpa George showed up with several long wood 2×4’s and a submersible water pump. We used the wood 2×4’s to pry the boat up (using the dock as a lever). Once the boat moved up several feet, the top of the boat was slightly out of the water. Grandpa put the pump into the boat and water began to pour out. Several hours later our boat was floating again and I was wiping key components of the engine. I reset the spark plug. Two pulls of the starter cord and the engine was running. All was right with the world.

There is a learning curve that goes with boats. We actually needed a year to do all the “stupid things” that go with ownership. The next year we upgraded to a classy Glastron ski boat that had a gold flecked hull. We actually transferred the 60 hp Mercury from the “little red boat”. It would skim over the water at over 50 mph. We were now seasoned veterans of lake country.

Good memories. Life!

Love,

Dad

Your Mom and I attended sister-in-law Jane’s viewing at Sheboygan’s Ballhorn funeral home last night. We got to spend significant time with brother Jerry’s family. Nice. Sad.

For some reason, every time your Mom and I get into the Sheboygan area, our car takes control of our life. Twice this week our car took us to Chester’s “drive-in” in Plymouth. There was nothing we could do. We had to go where the car took us. Curses.

One of the trips to Chester’s caught us by surprise. We parked, ordered our food and then noticed a red truck parked about 20 feet away. I knew that truck. It was a Chevrolet. It was bright red. It had extra gas tanks mounted in the back bed. Hey, I know the driver. It was Grasshopper No.3. Really? We visit Chester’s once or twice a year and there sits No.3. The story goes he was heading to Sheboygan Falls to quote a construction project and his truck took him to Chester’s. I’m not sure how many times No.3 gets to frequent Chester’s but he won’t be able to bullsh– me any more about how hard he is working.

We upgraded our “glorified” Toyota with a similar model. It has a backup camera which is really nice. Unexpectedly, I found a remote control “key bob” in the new car. I thought the salesman had lost it. It turns out the “key bob” belongs to the car. The previous owner had a “remote start” feature installed in the car. This winter we will be able to start the engine from inside a building and the car will be warm by the time we get to it. Now I have to figure out how to use the damn thing.

Lots of things to do this weekend. Summerfest in Milwaukee. Lifefest in Oshkosh. Milwaukee Brewers playing in Milwaukee and giving away free Bob Uecker alarm clocks. I can’t think of anything better than Uecker ringing my bell every morning.

Stay cool.

Love

Dad

 

We got notice yesterday that my brother Jerry’s wife Jane had passed away on the morning of July4. Our sympathy goes out to Jerry and his whole family. Jane had endured several heart operations in recent years. Sometimes the “parts” just wear out. I’m guessing that visitation will be on Thursday.

Your Mom and I used Marcus Theater gift cards to see the movie Tarzan over the weekend (so it was free).  We had lounge chairs with reclining capability. Beverage holders. 3-D. After the movie, your Mom said she liked Tarzan. I said I did too. Then she said, “no I really liked Tarzan”. Needless to say she hurt my feelings. She don’t remember but there was a time I was “buff” like Tarzan.

Mom and I were invited to grill out with Grasshopper No.1 and husband Tom on the 4th. Tom experimented with some exotic concoction using a head of cabbage. The cabbage was mounted on top of an open can of beer (and basted with Bar-b-que sauce) Apparently the head of cabbage drew the beer into it’s body with a capillary action. Beer. Cabbage. Bar-b-que sauce. People will do anything to have a beer. No, I didn’t get any.

Grasshopper No.4 got free golf lessons and a free rebuilt shaft on his driver thanks to Grasshopper No.3 plowing snow for Bob Burns Golf Business over recent years. No.4 now goes to the golf course with new confidence and a rebuilt shaft. Bob Burns indicated that sometimes the “improvement comes from the Indian and sometimes the Indian needs a better arrow”. Here comes the Acewisdom. If you are struggling with your golf game, it ain’t the arrow.

I dropped out of the National Hot Dog Eating Contest after two “dogs”. I let Joey Chestnut win with 70 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Hey, I don’t need the glory of being “Hot Dog Champion”.

Enjoy the week!

Love,

Dad

 

 

Growing up in Plymouth, the local canning factory (Stokely) concentrated on growing, harvesting and “canning” peas. Early peas are now in season. As kids, we would tear an armful of sweet peas on the vine off Stokely trucks as they slowed to a Stop at intersections. Then we would sit on the roadside curb and eat peas (followed by chewing on the pod). This morning I was given sweet peas from the garden by friends. They are organic. There were no vines and I’m told eating the pods is a nutritious thing. Hey, I’m 12 years old again.

The 4th of July is Monday. The privilege of Independence is special!

Grasshopper No.3 has promised for the third year in a row to take his Dad down to Crystal Lake to cruise with his refurbished boat. Yeah, right! At least No.3’s heart is in the right place. Boating on Crystal has changed. No.3 used to open up our Glastron boat and hit speeds of over 60 miles per hour. His new boat theoretically can top 90 mph. Alas, Crystal Lake has imposed speed limits for all power boats. We would be allowed to race across the lake at 35 mph.

Car purchasing has changed. I have inquired about a few used models at local dealerships. They know everything about me (the buyer). They know in detail what cars I own. They know where and when I bought them. I suppose they know the color of my underwear! The dealers also know and control all internet data. They have the same blue book info, average trade-in values and suggested retail data that we buyers have. It takes all the nasty negotiation out of buying. There really isn’t a lot of “wiggle room” for creating a deal. I guess the best chance for a deal is from a private seller who is hungry to unload their car. Stay tuned.

Fireworks someplace Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Best fireworks ever were from a hillside overlooking the Sheboygan harbor on a clear night. Ooooh! Aaaahhh!

Enjoy

Love,

Dad

 

 

Happy Birthday to Grasshopper No.4.  His birthday is tomorrow. He got to golf at Whistling Straights north of Sheboygan on Sunday.  The course is patterned after ancient English courses and it is expensive! It must be nice. I’ve been told you have to avoid the herd of goats that roam the course (really). They could eat your balls. I think No.4’s friend won a round of golf for 4 in a raffle so it was free (?). May your whole birthday week be filled with fantasy and fulfilled wishes.

Happy Birthday to Grandson Nevin.  He and No.4 were born on the same day. Nevin has always been a skateboard fanatic.  I notice as he “matures” that his commitment to extreme skateboard ventures is lessening. You can hurt yourself on those things.

It has dawned on me that someday I will unknowingly purchase my last car.  I know a couple (both over 85) that have two cars.  Both cars are old.  One is a 1990’s vintage Oldsmobile Station wagon (huge size) and a 2000 Oldsmobile Intrique sedan.  They don’t buy a new car because they don’t want to have to learn the complexity of modern cars.  Things like electronic transmissions or electronic display monitors. In effect they have bought their last car(s).

Iola, Wisconsin hosts a 3 day car show in a couple weeks.  There are many vintage cars on display.  Maybe I’ll go “back to the 50’s” and buy a blue, 1951 Oldsmobile convertible like I owned in high school. It wasn’t the best car I ever owned but it was fun.  I got to date my best girl while owning that car.  Once I procure the Olds I’ll look for a high mountain.  Like Thelma and Louise I can fly off into forever.

Or, like Grandson Collin suggests, I’ll get a BMW M5 and head for Road America where I could “open that baby up”. It would be a different kind of “flying”.

Or, I could buy a Toyota Prius and try to save mankind by reducing engine pollution. No “flying” possible with this choice.

Or, maybe I’ve already bought my last car?

My Grandpa Chalk dreamed of owning a Buick. He bought a Buick. He died owning a Buick!

Help me (actually a car loan would also be helpful)!  What should my last ride be?

Love,

Dad