Ace Wisdom

“It isn’t surprising.  The temperature is rising.  We’re having a heat wave.” That line comes from an old time song.  We in Wisconsin are sick.  It might get up to 45 degrees next week and it makes us happy.  There are clues that Spring is coming.  Boat shows.  Sports shows.  Fleet Farm is displaying garden tractors, grass seed, and lawn furniture is on special.

Saturday night is “Spring Ahead” for your clocks.  For those of you that work, this weekend sucks because you lose an hour.

I have been pursuing my “Turbo-Tax rebate”.  I had to upgrade 2014 software purchased from Office Depot to be able to prepare my taxes (Turbo-Tax changed their programs).  My upgrade cost was $30.  Turbo-Tax appologized for not informing loyal customers about their change in software.  They offered a $25 rebate for misleading customers.  The caveat was I had to wait until I filed my taxes before I could make the claim.  I waited.  I claimed.  I was told by Turbo-Tax on-line I didn’t qualify for the rebate.  I called their customer service, listened to a 3 minute sales pitch and told to leave my phone number and they would call back.  45 minutes later they called back.  Success.  I got $30 (plus tax) credit issued to my credit card.  I talked to Travis.  I got a confirming order from William.  I have to wait 2-3 weeks for the credit to process through (why is it when I charge things, it is instantaneous).  I think eventually I will get my money back.  They asked if I would fill out a “customer service survey” arriving in a day or two.  Do they really want me to rate their customer service?

I’m taking my rebate and having lunch with my favorite girl today!

Love,

Dad

 

What is this?  My Son-in-Law is a celebrity.  Yep, he made the front page of the Post Cresent paper.  Something about business in Madison.  Naw, it must be someone else.

I see that our next President, Hilliary Clinton was using her personal e-mail system for government business while she was Secretary of State.  Apparently it is illegal because the government wants a record of “business of State” posted on their e-mail system.  Really Hilliary, tell me it isn’t so!

And then there is the Russian who was once a candidate for Russian President.  He lost.  Lately he had been protesting Russian politics and the policies of the current President, Putin.  The protesting Russian was gunned down in the streets of Moscow.  Putin is noted for being ruthless and was once the head of the KGB (secret service).  Putin said he was shocked at the “shooting”.  Putin says, rest easy, he will investigate and get to the bottom of the issue.  Isn’t that like the fox checking out the chicken coop.

Enough politics.  The circus is all around us.

I have indicated that financial counselers recommend getting rid of one car to reduce expenses.  Your Mom has not agreed to give up her car.  The next big recommendation on reducing family expenses is to “down size” our home.  Yep, that is next on my list.  Sell our home.  Buy small home.  Smaller mortgage.  Less taxes.  Reduced insurance costs.  There is an even better solution.  Instead of downsizing to a smaller home, we should sell our house and move in with our favorite Grasshopper.  That really is a financial bonanza.  Free lodging.  Free meals.  No more snow shoveling.  I wonder if I could even negotiate an “allowance”.  Whoa!  Now all I have to do is notify our favoite Grasshopper of our decision.  Aren’t you lucky?

Snow today!  Warmer towards the weekend.  As my favorite philosopher said “winter ain’t over until it is over”.  I don’t think it is over folks.

Love,

Dad

Grasshopper No.1 posted “Whiplash” on Vudu.  Interesting movie!

Had lunch with younger brother Jerry this week.  Conversation revolved around retirement, health issues and family.  Isn’t that a surprise.  It was nice to “touch base”.  He is still cheap!

The UW-Badgers have been bouncing along with a 25 win season.  Last Tuesday was a sh– day.  They played an important game in Maryland and got beat soundly.  Okay, okay, a loss is a loss.  Then on the way flight home from Maryland, their plane had engine problem and they had to endure a emergency landing in Pittsburgh.  To top that off, they had to spend the night in Pittsburgh.  Isn’t that special.  Spending the night in the garden spot of the north, Pittsburgh.  Relax UW Badgers.  It just wasn’t their day.

I have some insight on how my favorite billionaire, Warren Buffett built a $50 billion fortune.  He studied longevity charts and found 6 year olds have the lowest “mortality rates”.  So being the genius that he is, he adopted the diet of a 6 year old.  He has 5 Cokes (12-oz.) everyday.  2 of the 5 are Cherry Cokes enjoyed in the evening.  For breakfast, Potato Stix from a can is common.  An alternate breakfast consists of chocolate chip ice cream.  There you have it.  If you want to get rich, you need to drink coke all day long, eat french fied potatos and plenty of ice cream.  It sounds good to me!

Sunday is March 1.  “In like a lamb, out like a lion”.

Love,

Dad

 

The Federal tax code consists of thousands of pages of instructions and rules.  The chances that the “average bear” (me) understands the rules is almost “0”.  To reduce errors, I blindly plug numbers into a purchased computer tax program.  The computer prints tax forms (I transmit by mail) on 34 pages of paper.  My copies are another 43 pages.  My taxes are now figured correctly!  Right!

Your Mom and I finally exhaused our Christmas movie gift card.  We saw “Still Alice” starring Juliane Moore.  She plays a 50 year old “brainiac” teacher that has inherited alzhiemers disease.  We picked the movie because Moore was up for an Academy Award for best actress.  She won the by the way.  Alzhiemers is scary stuff.  You’ll know when I’ve gone “over the edge” when I can’t remember the names of all 3 of you kids.

I’ve been looking for ideas on how to reduce living expenses.  Cutting out soda? Nope.  Eating more meals at home?  Nope.  Cutting out cable TV?  Nope.  You know this process of giving up things is a bitch.  Wait, I have one obvious saving.  Instead of having two cars, your Mom and I can get by on just one car.  That gets rid of insurance costs, maintenance costs, gas costs and annual depreciation.  Now I just have to figure out who is willing to give up their car!

It is hard to believe that my snow tires will be off the car in less than 30 days.

Love,

Dad

 

 

A lady delivers our daily newspapers (by car).  Lately, I have been getting a copy of the New York Times on Sunday.  I do not subscribe to the Times.  I dropped the lady a note saying Thank You hoping it wasn’t just a mistake.  No mistake.  She had an extra copy of the NY Times and thought I would enjoy it.  She said (and I quote), “everyone receives what they are entitled too”.  Obviously she has a high regard for me.  Or then again, maybe it has something to do with the “tip” I gave her at Christmas.

I got to see what money can buy in home entertainment centers.  Grasshopper No.1 and Spouse bought a Sony HDTV with 4K capability along with 3D.  Of course her system is tied into a 3D capable Blu-ray system that also has 4k technology.  I will say the 3D is impressive along with the 4K enhancement.  TV viewing has come a long way.  In 1954, my parents bought a family TV set.  To get a signal, we needed a TV tower mounted on top of our building (City Club).  Because the City Club was located in a valley (low with hills blocking signals), we needed a 20 foot high antenna with a rotor to attain precise positioning to get the best picture.  If we could see the people images on the screen, we had a good connection.  We didn’t have HD.  We didn’t have 4K.  We didn’t have 3D.  We didn’t have internet streaming.  We didn’t have HD Blu-Ray.  We didn’t have Netflix, VuDu or Amazon.  Would you believe we were happy.

I am working my way through Turbo-Tax programs.  They still owe me $25 bucks for their deceptive sales tactics but I can’t make my claim until I file this years tax returns.  As angry as I am at Turbo-Tax, every comparison I see says that they are positively the best.  First things first.  I want my $25.  Next year I will re-evalute the situation.

What does an iPad do?  You Mom and I got one for Christmas but I never get to use it.  Lets call this what it is.  Your Mom got an iPad for Christmas.

Love,

Dad

 

I understand that Grasshopper No.4 has responsibility for providing technical assistance to sales people on the West Coast.  Of course he had to visit California in February to check things out.  Really?  February?

UW Badger football tickets are going up in price again.  It seems football ticket increases are as inevitable as death and taxes.

Today is “Fat Tuesday”.  It is your chance to “pig out” before observing Lent.  What better excuse do you need to forget the diets and sensible eating.

We in Wisconsin give “love” a whole different meaning than you see on the TV series the “Bachelor”.  Valentines Day happened to coincide with the opening of sturgeon fishing on Lake Winnebago.  It was miserable on the lake with temperatures below 0 degrees and windchills -20.  The winds were creating “white outs” but that didn’t deter brave fishermen from stalking their prey.  One young man apparently took his girl friend along to endure the misery.  During the day he proposed marriage to her.  You might say he got his prey.  Eat your hearts outs “Bachelor” fans.  I wonder if he speared a fish?  What is bigger, getting engaged or spearing a sturgeon?

Finally, I have ofter wondered how you measure success.  UW Green Bay is honoring their star guard (Sykes) with a “bobblehead”.  The first 2000 fans to attend the upcoming Green Bay game will get a Sykes bobblehead, tattoos and all.  Yes sir!  That is it.  Just like the scarecrow, tin man, and lion in The Wizard of OZ, I need something that gives testimony to who I am.  I need my own bobblehead with a big heart on it!

I can’t believe I’m feeling sorry for the citizens of Boston buried under 9 feet of snow.

Love,

Dad

 

Tomorrow is Valentines Day.  It means that you should tell the one you care about that you love them.  Hugs and kisses count.  Chocolate is common but it comes with the dreaded calories (of course one day out of the year, who cares).  The newest “offering” for Valentines day is colored cheese curds.  White curds. Pink curds.  Blue curds.  You get the idea.  Really?  It doesn’t even sound good.

If you really want to outdo yourself for Valentines Day, the movie “50 Shades of Gray” hits the big screens.  Nobody admits that it is a good movie but the expectations are that it will gross $100 million this weekend.  You think that it is a coincidence that an “R” rated lovefest hits the screen on Valentine weekend?  I think not!

I did not win the Powerball sweepstakes.  I will have to cancel my order for a private Lear Jet, the condo in Florida and a castle in France.  I have often wondered about what I would say in my acceptance speech for winning $100 million.  Most people talk about paying off the mortgage, taking a vacation or buying a new car.  Then they would probably do charitable contributions.  The truth is, winners are overwhelmed and really don’t know what to do with all the money.  I know what I would do.  I’d give it all to my kids.  It would immerse you in immediate wealth and turn you into total a–holes.  You wouldn’t want that!  I’ll have to rethink the whole deal.

I am going to go sturgeon fishing (though the ice) this weekend.  It is supposed to be butally cold with wind chills -20 degrees.  Of course in the shelter of my personal shack it is not too bad.  TV.  Cold beverages.  Comfortable chairs.  Oh yeah, then there is the big hole in the ice waiting for a shadow to pass by.  One guy has been peering into the cold water for 30 years, never saw a shadow but continues to pursue his dream.  Thats me!  30 years of freezing my a– waiting for a stupid fish.  Really!

Monday is President’s Day.  That means the world stops.  No banks.  No mail.  No government (actually that could be a good thing).

Be My Valentine

Love,

Dad