Ace Wisdom

I watched “Dancing With the Stars” with my loving wife. Emmitt Smith won the competition along with his dance partner, Cheryl Burke. Grasshopper No. 4 said I grossed him out when I said that Emmitt had a cute smile. That charismatic grin and a lot of enthusiasm took his team over the top. At the end of the last dance Emmitt slapped his partner on the ass. He can’t do that! That could be grounds for sexual harassment.
Then I was flipping channels and I came across a basketball preseason game with Texas Tech playing Oklahoma State. My favorite coach, Bobby Knight, was prowling the sidelines and his team was winning big time. One of his players failed to fight for a rebound. As the player approached the bench during a timeout, Bobby decided he would give the player some loving tips. As the kid stood in front of Knight taking the barrage of comments, he had his head down. Knight wanted to look the kid to look him in the eye so he clenched his fist and lovingly “popped” the kid under the chin to get his head up. To put it mildly, the kid got the message. In fact, it showed the kid sitting on the bench afterward trying to see if he had broken his jaw or something more serious. The incident was dismissed as a “teaching incident”. Seems to me it could be close to child abuse.
And then there is Sony’s new Play Station 3. The new unit is out today and there are only 400,000 available. So people are lined up outside the major retailers to get the first editions. People are standing in line with $600 in their pocket to buy the first units. One Walmart store had only 10 units available and had to turn hundreds of people away. Some people were selling their spot in line in for $100, $200, and $300. Then the people who bought the unit were re-selling it on ebay for amounts as high as $3,500. One report had bidding as high as $8,000. Is this a great Country or what? Robbery was committed on people standing in line. Dah! They make a great target for thieves. To top everything off, a person was shot in Connecticut for refusing to yield to a thief. Is everybody nuts?
Finally there is Terrell Owens. He is the “fruitcake” receiver for the Dallas Cowboys. He feigns injury, mocks the coaching staff and falls asleep in strategy meetings. His outrageous behavior gets written off as eccentric. He is not a role model! I repeat, he is not a role model! Guess what? He has written a childrens book. You’ve got to be kidding me!
Maybe it is the newly elected liberal Democrats that are encouraging outrageous behavior. What else could explain the strange things going on? Maybe it is just a sign of the times.
Love,
Dad

The cottage season always ended in late October or early November. It required turning off the cottage water system before it froze up along with removing the pier from the lake.
The inclination was always to wait until the last possible moment to close things up. We intended to enjoy the fall colors and we could run the boat well into October.
I had lots of volunteers to help me take out the pier. My inclination was always to take it out just after Labor Day when kids went back to school and activity on the lake really slowed down. I remember Chris pleading to leave the pier in well into October and he offered to help me remove it. I think Paul volunteered also.
Guess what? It came the end of October and there was no Chris. There was no Paul. And the G– D— pier was still in the water. Did you know lake water gets very, very cold in late October.
The first few years I tried to endure the cold water with a swim suit and work fast to remove sections of the modular pier. I know I am a little bit of a whimp, but I think the blood stopped flowing in my legs a few times. I remember thinking, where are those damn kids?
Then I decided to buy some hip boots to wade out into the water. This is a little known fact, but when cold water spills over the top of hips boots it is just as cold as having no boots at all. The numbing pain doesn’t end until you get the boots off. Again I remember thinking, where are those damn kids?
The process of removing the sectional pier evolved into a “rope system” where I could take out the pier without ever having to go into the water. I still had the privledge of complaining about lack of help but the truth was that I had eliminated the numbing cold. I still thought, where are those damn kids?
Finally, my common sense took over. The use of the boat and pier after Labor Day was quite neglible. So over the Labor Day weekend when lots of family was visiting, I solicited help to take the pier out. That ended the problem of having to deal with cold water.
The truth about September and October is that a cottage seems romantic. You know: the fall colors, tranquil waters and fresh air. The reality is that once kids were back in school, they ended up with weekend commitments. Factor in season tickets to UW-Badger football games and the cottage hardly ever got used.
But I have to admit, every now and then in the fall, the family would end up at the cottage among the collage of colors and enjoy the day. Those few moments almost (and I stress the word “almost”) made postponing removal of the pier worth while.
Love,
Dad

Because I can be anal retentive, there are numbers and dates that roll through my mind!
On this date, November 10, 1957 my dad (Bucky) died. It is hard to believe that it was 49 years ago. I was called home to the City Club from the Plymouth Movie Theater to learn the news. It was late on a Sunday afternoon. He was 37 years old.
One year later on November 13, 1958 my Grandmother Helen (Alice’s mother) died in Ashland, Wisconsin. She had high blood pressure along with diabetes. Because she lived in the “woods”, it took extremely long to get her to the hospital which was 30 miles away. The cause of death was never determined. She was 58 years old.
Within the span of 1 year, my mother lost her husband and her mother. Mix in the fact that there was no money and Alice’s world probably seemed to be collapsing around her. She developed a toughened exterior but to me she was always the same mom.
Now we move to consecutive dates. My Dad (Bucky) was born in May, 1920. He was the oldest son of Chalk and Myrna.
20 years later, I was born in 1940. I was the oldest child in our family
20 years later in 1960 Deborah was born to our family. Yep she was the oldest child.
20 years later, Debs blew the whole series of “20 year numbers”. Dano was supposed to have been born in 1980. That deviation might have had a significant effect on the cosmos and sent our family into a totally different dimension.
It is a good thing that you guys are not a slave to numbers. Wait, that is not totally true. Christopher shows signs of fretting over number detail. Curses!
Love,
Dad

First, my advice is to get out and VOTE today. If you don’t, I don’t want to hear any complaints. Exercise your most important right!
Now the nonsense. Every year there is competition for our extra tickets to attend UW-Badger football games. For some reason, Paul has been witness to some of the more memorable games. There has been occasion when Paul and Chris have both witnessed history but Paul has been pretty lucky. Paul does lobby to hard to attend the “bigger” rivalry games like Michigan, Ohio State, Michigan State and Penn State. Last year for example, Paul and Jenny witnessed Wisconsin beating Michigan in the last 24 seconds with quarterback John Stocco running a “quarterback draw”. The Badgers won by 4. Paul essentially won the battle to see the best game of the year.
This year Paul chose attending the Penn State game. On the home schedule, it appeared to be the best potential game. Yeah the Badgers won in a steady slugfest. Final score 13-3. Yawn! Don’t get me wrong, the Badgers winning is great but the game was not real exciting unless you consider Penn State coach Joe Paterno getting his leg broken on the sideline.
Chris and Collin settled for the Illinois game a week earlier. The Badgers had some mental brain farts early in the game and found themselves down at half time 21-3. Curses! But the Badgers came out in the second half, played excellent football and gradually took the lead. They won by the final score of 30-24. It was not the way you plan a victory but it turned out to be very exciting and probably the home game of the year!
So this year Chris and Collin are the winners. They saw the best game. Yep, Paul loses. He will have to be a little more clever next year!
The good news is Bucky has not lost a home game. Nobody had gone home totally disappointed. It makes for fun Saturday afternoons in the fall.
Love,
Dad

There is music that marks the pages of our minds. Melodies in time that bring back memories.
It was the 1950’s and I had just become a teenager. On a warm summer night, my Dad and I were returning home from Hickory Hills golf course in Chilton where he was the manager. On this particular day, my mother had come along and had joined in some celebration. Both Alice and Bucky were feeling no pain (perhaps it was the martini’s). As we passed through one of the small towns along the way, the new song of the day “Tennessee Waltz” was playing on the car radio. I think it was sung by Patti Page. The Waltz has a haunting melody but nice. I remember my parents were both singing the words. I guess when you drink, you think you sound pretty good. For some reason the song, the warm summer breeze, and my parents singing made the world seem mystical. For that brief moment in time everything seemed right with the world.
Fast forward 50 years to the present. Your mom and I have been watching the TV show “Dancing With the Stars”. Jerry Springer has been one of the contestants and he was told he had to master a waltz. It was one of the few dances he enjoyed because he promised his daughter he would learn to dance for her upcoming wedding. The song that had been chosen was the Tennessee Waltz. The haunting music began and Jerry glided across the floor with his “drop dead gorgeous” professional dance partner. It was an enjoyable performance and Jerry Springer even “mouthed” the music. It was spellbinding. When the dance was finished, Jerry walked to the edge of the dance floor where his daughter was standing and he gave her a loving hug. Again for a brief moment in time, everything seemed right with the world. It is well known that men don’t cry but they are allowed to get “teary eyed”. Thats it, I got a little “teary eyed”.
The lesson grasshopper is that you all have music that brings back special memories. When the music transports you back in time, enjoy the trip.
Love,
Dad

This is the 2nd biggest holiday of the year! Strange things happen. People don’t act normal. It is like a spell is cast over everyone.
Some things are left unexplained. I made coffee this morning and I had coffee all over the countertop. It is like some mystic force caused the brew to bubble up and overflow. Or maybe it is just that I forgot to empty the old coffee out of the decanter and ran the fresh coffee in on top. My “decanter over-flowith”. The only explanation is Halloween.
As I started my morning walk at the mall, the first person I saw was one of the maintenance ladies wearing a devils outfit. It was befitting. The horns and devils tail were actually an inprovement. I almost expected her to turn into a bat and fly away. She is the one who always puts an “Out of order” sign at the entrance to the restroom.
It seems that women seem to get “into” halloween. Of course it is a short distance from being a female to being possessed by a spell. There was one lady dressed in loose clothing, a cape and a wig of “ratted blond hair”. Air was swirling around her as she walked the mall.
I made a restroom stop during my travels around the mall and a young man (ah, young is 35) was standing in front of a mirror painting his face. The face was chalky white and he was putting black stars around his eyes. I postponed my effort.
On my way home, I passed near the Grasshopper No. 3 household. A flying object almost hit my windshield. It was Shelby Jr. and her broomstick was out of control. I think she was headed for a Starbucks.
Of course the whole day will be strange capped off with gobblins begging for treats tonight. Our front door gets used more tonight than any other day of the year.
It is a day to release the inhibitions. Be yourself. Strange is okay. Come to think of it, most of you don’t even have to wear costumes. Just come as you are!
Love,
Dad

My doctor insists on seeing me every 6 months and he schedules a blood test one week before each visit. The blood test becomes the “basis” for judging my health status.
As you might guess, I just went through this 6 month routine and I’m beginning to hate it. The blood test measures 10-12 different things such as cholesterol, protein levels and blood pressure. When taken in total, the blood test information says that I’m medically good for an older person. But, the Doctor hones in on one or two readings and makes suggestions on how to improve. I’ve learned to dislike this analytical process. Hey, my high reading on the cholesterol is 134. Anything under 180-200 is pretty good. The lower end of my reading is 30. That is borderline for where they like the number but it is considered normal. So the “net” is my cholesterol overall is pretty good. Maybe really good for my age.
Now my secret. I don’t do well with people telling me what to do! No, you say! It is part of human nature to challenge authority but I work at it a little harder the most people.
My doctor keeps dwelling on the 30 reading at the low end of the cholesterol range. Apparently my efforts should be aimed first at more exercise and second at losing some weight. More exercise doesn’t seem reasonable especially since I walk 3-4 miles every day (for over an hour). So my other option is weight loss. Who wants to hear that? I can’t believe he is telling me to lose weight.
You get the idea. I pay big bucks. I get expert advice. I try to suppress the suggestions. I resist.
So where does that leave me? I made it past my 6 month check-up and I don’t have to go back until April, 2007. Try as I may, I can’t eliminate the Doctor’s advice from my mind. Hey, maybe I got what I paid for! I got expert advice on my health that I can process any way I want. What will I do? What will I do?
The lesson here is that we have access to some of the best medical adivice in the world. Use those resources wisely (not without thought). The choices are yours. You’ll find the path that is best for you!
Love,
Dad