Ace Wisdom

I guess that I wasn’t meant to escape the recent “flu-bug”. My head is stuffed, breathing is heavy and of course my ability to be sarcastic is running high. As Grasshopper No.3 would say, “suck it up. Rub some dirt on it”. So that is what I am going to do!
The good news is that the snowstorm that we were supposed to get today passed gently to the south and I don’t have to shovel that white sh–.
I watched a movie on TV this afternoon and it was about a young mom with one child dying of cancer. I’ve seen real life scenerios play out to that same theme in the last year. The movie ended very nicely with everyone being thankful for having known the young mom. I guess the only reason I mention the movie is that they have a “stay in bed all weekend” marathon coming this weekend on Lifetime. I remember my sister Addie acknowledging that sometimes she crawled up on the couch on a weekend and would watch “warm movies” all day Saturday. Because I’m feeling so sh–y, it actually sounds like a good idea.
Now the “look”. Grasshopper No.4s wife Jenny admitted that she can move “mountains” with the “look”. When she wants a family to do something, the process begins with a glaring stare but no words. If the kids or husband challenge the stare, the “look” can change to disbelief or disgust. Again, no words. The family member ends up with a guilt trip. So the family ends up doing things for mom that they really don’t understand. There is this feeling that somebody screwed up and they better fix the problem. Of course Jenny is smiling on the inside because the “look” can motivate beyond discription. I think they should register the “look” as a dangerous weapon and make moms carry an owners permit. Do they hold school for moms to teach them this sh–“. I’m teasing Jenny about the “look” but all moms seem to have the mysterious power. There is an implied consequence of sleeping on the couch or the room turning mysterious cold.
There are many forms of the “look”. A raising of the the eyebrows indicates disbelief. The “look’ can be focused and stern with the mouth turned down to show madness. I have come to recognize most “looks”. You know when you are in trouble when Mom is acting strange and you ask “honey, what is wrong”? The answer that brings fear to every family member is “oh nothing”. You know something is wrong and an earthquake might occur under you house in the next 24 hours.
I’m going to avoid the subject of sympathy because I have the ugly cold. I might say something that is offensive. I might just do as Addie suggested. I might crawl up on the couch in the basement, turn the heat high and watch touching movies all day (in between NFL playoffs).
Stay warm!
Love,
Dad

A sincere thank you to all for making the belated Christmas holiday enjoyable. As the years pass and each generation develops their own Christmas tradition, it gets harder to get family and friends together at the same time.
Several years ago, Dominic (and his family) was here for Christmas Eve. There was a short drive around the neighborhood to look at decorative lights and wouldn’t you know that Santa came while we were out. During the drive, Dominic saw Santa in the sky (I think it was a local aircraft) and sure enough, when we got home there were presents under the tree. For sure, there was a Santa Claus. There was some help from an elf from Minnesota.
On another Christmas, Mom bravely endeavored to orchestrate a “white elephant” gift exchange. People brought gifts that they didn’t want and through a raffle process, “off-loaded” them on other family members. What I remember is that the game got very tense when the gifts suddenly didn’t end up in the hands of expected members. Emotions ran high but it was a fun time. Everyone sure got into the game.
This Christmas did not have a specific agenda, but as we got near the end of the gift exchange, there were several extra gifts. As usual the “leader of the pack” (your Mom) figured out a way to distribute the gifts using a process making each person disclose something about themselves that nobody else knew on a slip of paper. Everyone had to guess who made the disclosure as it was read to the group. The winning disclosure, “hands down”, was Nana’s. Her clue was “I’m the best looking gal here”! Very clever for a 97 year old lady. I’m not sure why it took so long to guess because she was obviously right. I think Keely got credit for figuring out it was Nana..
So another holiday season has come an gone. We created memories as Shelby Jr. would say. Bob Hope would always close, as do I, with “thanks for the memories”.
Love,
Dad

Starbucks has left the building (Fox River Mall). They only lasted one year. A slow economy spares no one.
Your Mom and I celebrated New Year’s Eve by attending the movie Valkyrie (?) with Tom Cruise. He leads a group attempting to assasinate Hitler. Obviously he fails. It was an elaborate plan. I kept thinking that they should have befriended a radical terrorist, strap a few bombs to his body and have him walk right into Hitler’s headquarters. Kaboom! That is simple as it gets. Of course you need a willing radical terrorist.
My Grandma Myrna was born on this date (Jan.2,1901). I bet her folks were upset. One day earlier and she might have qualified for the gift celebration heaped on the first baby of the new year. Or she might have been born on Dec.31 and her folks could have taken a Federal Tax Deduction for her. Wait, in 1901 there was no Federal Tax. Now taxes ranges all the way up to 50% of income. We’ve come a long way baby.
Now the good stuff. The days are getting longer. If we can survive the next 30 days, the sun will begin to feel good again.
Tomorrow is a rescheduled Christmas. Even though it is a really late celebration by “executive decision’ because of weather, the people are the same, the renewal of family is great and I understand that Santa even came down the chimney.
One last comment. The New York Press has turned on Brett Favre. Now he has to have minor surgery on his shoulder and then he goes into his Kiln, Mississippi Compound to contemplate whether he wants to play again. Same song, different verse. My prediction is Brett Favre will finally retire. It is not fun being disliked. New York can be brutal.
See you soon!
Love,
Dad

Yesterday was Grasshopper No.2’s birthday. I’m not sure how old she was but the numbers “7” and “4” rattle around in my mind. She shares the date (Dec. 30) with Tiger Woods. Imagine that. Two tough minded, successful personalities dedicated to excellence.
2008 is ending. Finished! Over! There are always pluses and minuses in every year but 2008 seemed to have had more than it’s share of bad news. Notice I did not use the word “sucked”.
We lost two special family members. Mary Ann Andrews died of agressive cancer. She was a driving force in her family and I’m sure is sorely missed.
My sister Addie May succumbed to the same dreaded disease in late October. I keep waiting to see an e-mail pop-up on my computer with the name “Eisenhardt” spelled wrong. She was always in my Christmas. I miss that too.
Shelby Jr. had both parents experience very serious health issues. They both seem to be coping but it is a reminder of how very precious life can be.
It was the worst economic year since 1931, which was the height of the Depression. Anyone with a 401k plan can attest to lousy financial results. Job layoffs are occurring at an alarming rate and our government is spending money like a drunken sailor. My consolation is that your Mom and I can always go to live with our kids.
In the midst of the storm, there is always hope 2009 will be a transition year to something better.
It is a good time to refinance your home and lock in long term money. I understand that you can get a 30 year mortgage for 5.1%. That is an excellent rate. Good time to jettison ARM’s.
Enjoy the low gas prices. I paid $1.69 per gallon at the pump this morning. It sure beats $4.00 per gallon early in 2008. Prices should remain low.
Sometime during 2009, stocks and bonds are going to “bottom” and investments in your retirement accounts will increase nicely (I resist using the word soar).
Starting in Janurary, my social security checks will increase 5.8%.
Finally, there is the election of the “One” to the Presidency. Obama takes office in January and is committed to leading us to a promising future. Now I can sleep at night.
I look forward with optimism to 2009. We will need to seize the moment! Grab the opportunity! Attack!
So here is wishing you a Very Happy New Year. May good health and prosperity follow you.
Stay Warm.
Love,
Dad

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “why the long face”?
Grasshopper No.3 walks into Menards and inquires, “how do you make a hot dog stand”? The attendant says, “you take away his chair”!
How do you get rid of a snowblower (old or new, any size)? Just leave it standing unattended in Sheboygan. It seems that 7-8 snowblowers have been stolen in the last week in that great metropolis. Who would want to steal a snowblower? There is no place left to blow the snow! We lived in Sheboygan for 17 years and I don’t remember getting as much snow as they have this year. There a literally “caverns of white”.
Mom and I did get invited to Christmas Eve Church services. It was a prelude to a lengthy CD that the Church choir intends to make. Oh yeah, there was a token “service”. The best part is we were with cherished family!
And, of course, this first day after Christmas brought more snow. I tackled 3-5 inches more this morning so I could get out of the driveway. My favorite son-in-law says that Worsor (Wausau) up on the tundra was never like this.
The Green Bay Packers play their final game of the 2008 season Sunday in Green Bary. The forecast is for wind and snow. Of course! My prediction is that the Detroit Lions will win. Detroit is in danger of becoming the first team ever to go winless in a season. They will play inspired football. Detroit 20, Packers 17. The stars seem lined up to make it happen.
Grasshopper No.5 has this mercurial fast Mini-Cooper negotiating the streets of Minneapolis. The twin cities have had their share of snow also. When your windshield wipers are broken and your engine overheats, it is time to call your local BMW dealer. The next thing you do is arrange a loan at the local bank to pay for the high quality service. I don’t know why I’m kidding about her situation. I have the same “back-up” quality service here in Appleton.
Snuggle with your loved ones. Let the wind blow and the snow fall. Find a really good movie and enjoy. Last night your Mom and I watched “Casablanca” from beginning to end. It was a commitment we made. That is more than I can say for Grasshopper No.1 and hubby who commited to watching “Gone With the Wind” and never made it to the end. Something about complete boredom!
Drive Careful!
Love, Dad

Yep, it is snowing again this morning.
My car has a ground clearance of 8 inches. We’ve already had 4-5 inches of snow. What happens when the depth reaches more than 8 inches? I don’t think that is good.
I really can’t complain. When I feel really disgusted with the snow, I look at the little community of Sheboygan nestled along the shores of Lake Michigan. They seem to get 25% more of everything because of the “lake effect”. Why would anyone want to live there?
Years ago my Grandpa Jiggs had a home on Lake Nemacagon up “nort” near Cable, Wisconsin. It was a central Lodge (home) surrounded by 5-6 cabins. It was called Wildwood Lodge. This was during the late 1940’s and most of the 1950’s. There was no electricity in the 1940’s and water for the kitchen was obtained with a cast iron hand pump mounted on the kitchen-counter. That was considered indoor running water. An outdoor toilet was located 100 yards away from the Lodge. It was a “two holer”. Going to the bathroom was a commitment especially in below zero temperatures. There was absolutely no lingering. Of course there was always a “chamber pot” in the house for going “No. 1”. Central heat came from a big pot stove fueled by wood cut over the summer. The stove got stoked before everybody went to bed. By morning, there were just a few glowing embers in the stove and somebody (usually Grandpa Jiggs) needed to get up and put new wood on the fire. There were no fans to evenly spread heat around the lodge. The bedrooms probably got into the low 50 degree temperatures during the night.
Snow was always plentiful at Wildwood Lodge. It was 30-40 miles south of Lake Superior and it also got lots of “lake effect” snow every year. Despite the crude living conditions, there was always a feeling of being able to cope and Jiggs along with his only son “Big Jerry” did plenty of hunting and fishing. I remember the snow as being part of the identity of Wildwood Lodge and it was pretty and pristine. They didn’t have snowblowers in those days and you shoveled just enough to keep paths open (like to the outdoor two holer).
I guess the dilemma with snow is that it is so pretty as it falls to earth and creates a blanket of white. Then comes the cold, the blowing and the shoveling. The nostalgia wears thin. Wildwood Lodge had a blanket of white that lured you into its spell. It made for pretty postcards.
So grab your shovels and snowblowers and ice scrapers and salt and sand. Go forth and get that white crap off your sidwalks and driveways. Remember how tough our ancesters had it.
Even though I vacilate between the pros and cons of snow, I can’t imagine Christmas without it. Snow defines Christmas. Well, we’ve got it and isn’t it great!
Love,
Dad

Thank goodness it is not Winter yet. Winter doesn’t begin until Dec. 21. I can hardly wait!
As you know our plan was to cleverly avoid the chaos of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day by having a celebration at our house early (Dec. 20, and Dec. 21). It sounded like a good idea. Someone forgot to tell the weather gods. Nobody should put themselves or their families at risk with bad driving conditions. There are lots of alternatives.
I was programmed to go out to the mall to do my exercise this morning. I have always felt comfortable driving in the snow and navigating bad conditions. The plowing at the Mall has been so bad lately that I’m not sure I could find a place to park without getting stuck. So this morning I had my cup of coffee and did the “treadmill thing”.
Grasshopper No.3 has been taking good care of me by plowing the driveway during or after each snowfall. I’ve counted 7 plowing events. It is only mid December. A sincere thank you to my favorite Grasshopper. Yep, my driveway was open this morning.
I see that “W” (President Bush) announced this morning that bridge loans will be extended to the auto industry to keep them viable until March of next year. Merry Christmas! That is $17 billion we will never see again. I actually agree with keeping the auto industry viable until a better solution can be reached. There are just too many jobs that our economy doesn’t need to eliminate right now. A viable auto future holds lower rates of pay (and salaries), less ridiculous benefit programs and most important, “cars that have appeal”. We can make cars that people want.
The good news is that crude oil prices have dropped from $140 per barrel to $35 per barrel. That is a drop of 75%, Come on, admit it! Isn’t nice to fill your gas tank and be pleasantly surprised by the amount you have to pay.
As the pressure of making everyone happy during the Christmas season increases, take time to remember the real reason for the celebration. It is to commemorate the birth of the God Child. Santa wasn’t even in business at that time. We have brought the “gift giving thing” on ourselves. So take a breath. Have a flavored drink, hug a loved one and stay warm and safe.
See You Soon!
Love,
Dad