Ace Wisdom

Last week was “mini vacation” week for your mom and I. First it was off to Lake Geneva to visit the Three Amigos. Kelly along with her sidekicks Grant and Mitchell were down in Lake Geneva soaking up the rays. We got to spend some time in their vacation haven. Lots of swimming pools. Lots of tourist traps. I have never been to Lake Geneva which became famous years ago for the Playboy Club and the magnificent golf courses. I did not get to frequent either. Downtown Lake Geneva is like Disney Village. Lots of shops and sidewalk cafes! And then there are the boat trips that leave from the town of Lake Geneva. Nice to visit. Nice to leave. The company was special.
Then it was off to Minneapolis. Grasshopper Margaret had prepared an agenda that kept us busy. Can you imagine being couped up with your parents for a couple of days and nothing to do? I met the enchanting Dr. Jones (Indigo). I met her special friend Shawn who helped make the excursions enjoyable. We did things like eat at the Town Talk Cafe in the middle of a war zone. No, it was just a tough part of town with security people on display everywhere. The food was great and we survived. Then there things like St. Anthony Main and the Stone Arch Bridge.
The center piece of the weekend was Chanhassen playhouse. We knew for a month that we would take in the play “Singin’ in the Rain”. We have been to the Chanhassen before. It is similar to the Fireside in Fort Atkinson except after dinner, you stay right at your table to watch the play.
Now to Lena Lamont. If you remember your movies, “Singing in the Rain” was about the movie business making the transition from silent movies to “talkies”. Lena Lamont was a star of the silent screen and was asked to talk in the first “talkie”. Her voice turned out to be like scratching your fingernails across a blackboard. The actress that played Lena, did an excellent job of projecting a high pitched, annoying squeeky voice. They the play they ended up dubbing Lena’s voice with that of another actress and eventually Lena faded to obscurity.
I dwell on Lena for a moment because she is your worst dream. I tried to imagine being married to her. It would be great as long as she didn’t open her mouth (I resist 100 really good jokes at this point). Just imagine a bride with that grating voice saying “Honey, I’m pregnant”. Eeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh! Give me the electric chair.
Lena provided the comic entertainment in Singin’ In the Rain and it was a fun event. Obviously she made an impression on me.
So we are home where I can resume my exercise program, eat good food like hot dogs, and play with my computer. Call me old fashioned, but I like it here.
It would be remiss not to thank the Three Amigos along with Margaret and Shawn for the enjoyable moments. I hope we can do it again.
Love,
Dad

I will confess to a weakness. I deal with big issues really well. I don’t do as well with “little things”.
This morning I was talking to my favorite Grasshopper on my cell phone while zipping around town in the car. When I finished the call, I kept the phone “on” just in case I might get a call. Yeah, right! Who is going to call me unless they want something? When I got home, I turned it off and then plugged it into a charger. I looked at the screen and it was dead. It usually says something like “charging in progress”. Nothing! So I disconnected everything and decided to turn the phone on (it was not dead, I was just recharging from lots of use). It would not come on. There you have it. My cell phone would not activate and it would not charge. Life was in the crapper.
So I went to do some chores around the house and set all the phone equipment on the kitchen counter. Later, I’d run over to my favorite Cellular One store and get a new battery.
One half hour later, I go to pick up the cell phone to take it with me to Cellular One and I tried to turn it on. It came on. My phone activated as though nothing happened. Then I decided to try charging the phone as I had earlier. Yep, charging began and 2 hours later completed it cycle. Everything now works.
My question is “what the hell caused the cell phone to go dormant”. I know there are some safety features in case of theft but I am not aware of a “dormant state”.
Now, I will have constant worry about when it will crap out again. Maybe it was a one-time thing. Then again maybe it was a sign.
I am not sure what significant sign might be coming through. Maybe it is to never use a cell phone again. Maybe the Cosmos is reminding me that it can cut off my communications with the world anytime it wants? Maybe someone in the Cosmos was just playing “head-games” with me.
My take on the whole thing. It is a defective phone. I will have trouble again. It was not a sign. It is a “little thing” and as I said, it will annoy the hell out of me.
Love,
Dad

The Condo at Elkhart Lake was a 5 year experiment. In my mind the Condo was over-priced and the quality was really quite poor. The 64 units were built by Lee Construction and they were known to cut corners occassionally.
If you remember Grasshoppers, when you walked out the sliding doors on the ground floor by the pond, there was a huge gap between the Condo and the cement patio outside. I always figured it was a settling that took place over 30 years.
About a month ago, we drove through the grounds of all the Condos and noticed that the 4 units (including the one we once owned) had big steel beams pierced right through the basement just under the main floor. It looked like they were going to move all 4 units at one time. What the hell?
Then your mom talked to Katie who was staying at the Ullrich condo and she said that the 4 condos were now sitting on top of the road having been moved off their foundations.
It turns out the people that built the pond didn’t properly prepare the composite materials and that the pond and the Condo’s closest to the pond were all sinking. Yep! Slip sliding away.
So the whole pond and new foundations have to be built. I understand that the contractor and probably insurance companies will pay the tab. Just think, if we still owned the Condo, we would not be using it this summer. I can also promise you that every condo that has been moved will be difficult to restore to acceptable condition. There will be ceiling cracks, wall cracks and there will always be the fear of a re-occurance of the present sinking problem.
So you see Grasshoppers, timing is everything. We sold the condo several years before the existing clamity hit. Sometimes it is better to be lucky than good.
Love,
Dad

This year (2006) is the anniversary of two significant events in history and I can’t really decide which has had the more pronounced impact on history. I need your help.
60 years ago, the “bikini” bathing suit was introduced. I’m not sure how profound the introduction really is but surely the world took notice. It has little redeeming social value. It is interesting that these little patches of clothing actually cost more than the traditional full body suits. Go figure? Other than “eye candy”, I really don’t understand the importance of the bikini garb. So one of the significant events you must judge is the bikini intro.
Second major event 25 years ago was the PC (personal computer) was introduced. That’s right, a “boob tube with a keyboard” changed the American psychy. I guess “boob” is the operative word in choosing the most significant advance in history. I remember the first PC which was very limited in capability and initially the internet was really not in the picture. Apple Computer blasted onto the scene and the our family bought one of the first units. The most popular software was Visicalc which allowed the early equivalent of todays Microsoft Excel. I do remember a “bouncing ball” game that wasted a lot of my time but having spreadsheets available electronically was revolutionary. The rest is history. Internet searches. E-Mail. University study electronically. I-pods and much more. Personally, I think that the Internet phenomenon coupled with the mega-size storage capabilities of computer software has made all our lives different.
So there you have it! You must decide which event has had the most significant impact on our lives. Was it the bikini or the personal computer. It is a hard decision.
Actually the decision is really easy Grasshoppers. Let’s see if you make the right one!
Love,
Dad

Selling your house can be a “SEE” (significant emotional event). It is a huge change in your life style and it is a combination of emotional and financial factors.
Everybody wants to get a high valuation of their home from the real estate agent. Happiness is to hear valuations that are in line with your expectations.
Second, you want your house to sell as soon as it goes on the market. You want people to praise the improvements you’ve made and offer full price. Yeah, right!
Maybe someone will make an offer before you have to do the dredded “open house”. Even if you have to do the open house, there will be an abundance of interested buyers.
If and when you get an offer, the people who purchase your house will be very accommodating on when you have to move out. They will work around your schedule. Again, yeah, right!
In the meantime, the mortgage payments go on, taxes accrue and you keep paying for the insurance and ultility coverage.
Now after all that, you are either looking to move to a better home or perhaps move to another city. Excitement reigns supreme. Maybe you just got married or accepted a new job and are moving to a new city.
Then reality sets in. Your house doesn’t get appraised as high as you hoped. That means that financially it is going to be more difficult than you thought. Then the realtor insists on some changes to “dress up the place”. More expense! Then you have an open house and no one shows up. Awe shit! Then the new house you made an offer on has a new buyer without the contingincy of selling their house involved. So you lose the new house of your dreams.
Suddenly everything seems out of control and that there will never be a solution. Interest rates seem to be going in the wrong direction. Houses are statistically taking longer to sell. Mix in the emotion of changing to a new job and add the stress of your kids being upset about the move.
This Grasshoppers is a S.E.E. It is a significant emotional event. Patience wears thin. Tempers flare. You get tired. You just want it to be over.
All I can say is “keep your cool”. Millions of people sell their house every year. Your house will sell. This is a statistical game. The right buyer for your house will come along. You will find the new place of your dreams. Your kids will adjust beautifully and everybody will live happily ever after. I would be amazed if selling your house was easy.
If it is any consolation, I hate the process of selling a home too. It is a big stakes game. Your only do it several times during your lifetime. It sucks!
Love,
Dad

Okay, this blog is about “eyes”. It has to do with communicating with your eyes. They say that eyes are the windows to your soul. Because you use your eyes to receive information, your eyes reveal a lot about your personality. That is right! You cannot hide. Some people have vibrant, dancing eyes showing happiness, while some can be sorrowful, showing deep hurt. There are some people that you have trouble looking in the eye because they want to hide their emotions. When people don’t want to make eye contact with you, most times there is a reason. If your spouse has a sorrowful look and a tightened jaw, you are in deep shit.
Your eyes can make contracts (get it? “eye”deals) with other people. Your eyes can indicate compliance with a conversation or a task. Your eyes can express disapproval. The eye signals are powerful.
I remember one math teacher, Mr. Sauer. He could illustrate a solution to a math problem on the blackboard (do they still have blackboards?) and be very effective at proving his point. He had this technique after proving a blackboard solution of turning to the students and asking if there were any questions. He would survey the eyes of the students and he could tell in an instant if he had been effective. He would regularly say after checking eyes “No? Then we will do it again”. He understood he had not made a connection with the students and he tried again. It was an “eye”deal technique.
I have had many business deals completed because of effective eye contact. There is a connection that takes place when two parties come to an agreement. It expresses approval and a sense of common purpose.
But the simplest example I can think of is with kids. There are many times I wanted to motivate you kids to do something and most times I knew if we had a contract by looking at your eyes. There were times when I was sure communication had been excellent but we didn’t have a contract. Your eyes said “no contract”. For me that was an “oh shit” moment because I felt I had failed. Of course it never dawned on me that you were right and I was wrong.
A good technique for effective communication is to make your kids sit across from you and encourage them to look you in the eye during a conversation. If necessary, hold both their hands and insist they look you in the eye. You may not get the result you are looking for, but the eyes will provide all the answers you need.
By the way, a blank look is “no deal”.
I am happy to say that all you Grasshoppers have “easy eyes”. They say very well how you feel. You are willing to let people in readily. You trust the eye connection. After all, you are constantly making “eye”deals.
Love, Dad

Today is the 4th of July. It is a reminder of the treasure of independence. A lot of people have died to preserve it. Our flag is the symbol. Show some respect.
I was raised during World War II. I felt the risk of “losing it all”. We prevailed of course and I got to enjoy the rebuilding and national pride after the War. The act of burning the flag falls under the protection of “freedom of speech”. I do happen to have a strong opinion on flag burning. It is shows a total lack of respect. I’d like to punch out each and every person who even considers it as a protest.
While we are at it, the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag and all it stands for is being challenged under the “free speech clause”. The “under God” reference is religious discrimination and diverse groups want it removed from the allegiance. Screw them. Our founders included it in their base philosophy and it should stay. Respect my freedom of speech assh—.
While we are at it, anything religious is also under attack. Someplace in South Carolina, they want theTen Commandments removed from a public courthouse. The Federal judges have agreed that it is improper and have ordered removal. I understand that it has a religious bias but if 98% of the population wants it displayed, how can the 2% minority screw it up. Repect my freedom of speech.
Christmas has centuries of history. Yes it makes reference to Christ. 1-2% of the population objects because it is directed at one Christian belief. Yes it is. Yes you can object. No, I won’t stop stop singing Christmas carols. My Christmas tree will adorn the town square. I have freedoms too. Assh—.
I guess the flare ups challenging our freedom is testimony that we have a system that has worked. My fondest wish is that the majority express themselves and don’t give away freedoms to the tiny, screaming minority.
So on this day, appreciate the freedoms our flag represents. For a system that is so screwed up, we have an awful lot of people trying to get into our country. What does that tell you? It is the 4th of July. We enjoy independence in the greatest country in the world. Show some respect!
My favorite patriotic song? God Bless America!
Love,
Dad

Credit cards are like a pact with the Devil. The card seems harmless. It is easy to use. Cash was never so available. It can satisfy any immediate need. It feels good until the debt comes due. Then the Devil (Credit Card Companies) extract their ounce of flesh. I bet you never paid any attention to all the penalties that accompany use of a card.
I’ve had one credit card for over 20 years. I have always paid my balance in full. Lately I have been getting phone calls offering me reduced interest rates if I listen to their promotion. I hang up. If I never incur interest charges, why would I be interested.
But what really burns my ass is the notice that I get with my monthly bill telling me that they are changing the rules and that new terms, interest rates and charges are going into effect.
I’ve been told that my interest rate if I default on a payment, will be 31.9% interest. Do you realize how obscene that charge is? On the reverse side, if you have a savings account at the bank and they pay you 3% (try to get that on a savings account), it would take you 10 years to earn enough interest to pay off your penalty for default on your credit card. Talk about getting screwed.
Then to add insult to injury, if you pay late, any balance over $250 will get charged an additional $39. This is in addition to the 31.9% interest charge.
If you go over your approved credit limit (even if they approve it), yep, a $39 fee. This is addition to the interest charge of 31.9%.
Heaven help you if you make payment and the check bounces. I think they take your first born.
I realize that the credit card companies are just offering a service and that I have the option of not using the card. It doesn’t change my opinion that people are being taken advantage of.
Beat the Devil (Credit Card Company) at his own game. Minimize the number of cards you carry. Pay all balances on time. Better yet, tear up your credit card (your deal with the Devil) and use cash. You have the power.
Have a Great 4th of July weekend.
Love,
Dad

“What are you going to do now”? That question was repeated over and over at Nevin’s graduation party. My perception was that Nevin didn’t have a clue. How could he? He is starting the next stage of his life with a clean slate. He needs to learn what is available to him.
Then, a couple days later, I heard Dustin Hoffman, the actor, talk about his life. He got into the subject of transitioning into the work environment at age 18. His reflections were insightful.
First, how could you expect a young person graduating from high school to know what they want to do for the rest of their life? The sum total of your “being” is growing up with painful social encounters and education. From age 5-18 you are constantly going to school to get a base of knowledge. That’s it! At 18 you graduate from high school and the world says “now what”?
Some people seem to know what they want to do. I think some of the conviction comes from watching your parents. If your dad is a dentist, maybe you will have a propensity to choose dentistry as a vocation. Maybe your neighbor is a policeman and somehow you become enamored with the occupation. Most people have no clue.
Second, Dustin said “what a great time”! You get to try different things and experiment with different occupations. It is an opportunity. It is a time to learn about the possibilities of earning a living. The idea is to go from bewilderment to experimentation. Trial and error is good!
If you go on to college, take “general” curriculum subjects. You’ll find subjects that you like and that might lead you to a promising career. It is also a world of academia and a lot of discussion takes place about potential careers. For example, I started out taking subjects that would allow me to teach math. I found I didn’t have the patience to teach little bastards math (and it didn’t pay anything) so I switched to engineering. Building and designing new things caught my fancy. After graduating as an engineer, I went after a business degree. So I was adjusting again. Then I found out business really needed “problem solvers” and I ended up in executive management. So, as a person I kept adjusting always leaning to something that was more interesting. I did not have a revelation when I was 18 about what I wanted to pursue.
You can all relate back to your experience after you finished high school. Kelly seemed to know with laser accuracy what she wanted and Paul resorted to trial and error to find his niche. Margaret needed a year in Sweden to gain clarity. Chris seemed to migrate towards heavy equipment and mechanical things. Debs made a choice of optical dispensing and then adjusted into management.
So Grasshoppers, as your kids blast off into the world after graduating high school (this assumes they finish high school), encourage them to try something. Try anything! If they don’t like college, they can adjust. Experiment. Move towards the things that are interesting. It seems scary but it can actually be rewarding. Their slate will be written with a wonderous journey.
Just a final note. The Andrews clan has not been very good at occupations that require physical exertion. We are better at telling other people what to do. Ha.
Love, Dad

My favorite daughter in Madison suggested that we play golf on one of her “days off”. She hasn’t really pursued golf in the last few years but the invitation felt like the spider inviting the fly into her web. Just for clairty, I felt like the fly.
The invitation was to play Yahara in Madison. It is a public course and long. It is so long they make you wear a bracelet with a GPS (position finding device) so that they can find you if you get lost. Notice the course name is Yahara. They picked the name because it has sand traps as big as the Sahara desert (get it – Yahara/Sahara). It is the perfect course to embarass your decrepit old dad.
So we made it to the first tee and my favorite daughter (Kelly) says to her dad “would you like to play from the women’s tees”. For those of you who don’t know golf, womens tees are 40-50 yards closer to the hole so that these frail human beings have a better chance to score. The ultimate insult is to ask a man if he wants to play the women’s tee. I can’t believe she did that. Like Rodney Dangerfield, I wasn’t getting any respect.
The second “zinger” was “Dad, it is okay for an old man to play from the women”s tees”. Note the reference to old man. Again, no respect.
Then without the benefit of warming up, I took my first swing and the ball went straight down the fairway and I was right in the middle. “Great shot Dad”! Kelly then proceeded to tee off and hit the ball further than me. That was my first clue that it was going to be a long day. She beat me on the first hole by 3 strokes.
Kelly had the only birdie of the day. A score of 2 on a Par 3 hole. There ought to be a penalty for improper jumping with joy.
Kelly had the only other par of the day. It was a 4 on a Par 4.
She played like Phil Mickelson “before” he collapsed in the recent U.S.Open. You know! Incredible shots showing lots of imagination. She played like trees didn’t exist. Everytime she got near a tree, she ended up with a clear shot.
At the halfway mark (after 9 holes), she had beaten her dad into submission. Kelly had less strokes. No respect.
The second half of the round showed two tired golfers just trying to survive. Of course for me, it was tough for me to swing my clubs with a “foot on my throat” as she attempted to stomp me into submission.
We survivied the ordeal. We had a good time. I won’t tell you the end result. And of course, Kelly wants to do it again. Who wouldn’t enjoy beating their dad into submission.
So as we left the parking lot, she said “thanks Dad, we will have to do this again if you are up to it”. The inference was that maybe an old man couldn’t handle the competition. Again, no respect. Bulls—! Bring it on.
Love,
Dad