My favorite daughter in Madison suggested that we play golf on one of her “days off”. She hasn’t really pursued golf in the last few years but the invitation felt like the spider inviting the fly into her web. Just for clairty, I felt like the fly.
The invitation was to play Yahara in Madison. It is a public course and long. It is so long they make you wear a bracelet with a GPS (position finding device) so that they can find you if you get lost. Notice the course name is Yahara. They picked the name because it has sand traps as big as the Sahara desert (get it – Yahara/Sahara). It is the perfect course to embarass your decrepit old dad.
So we made it to the first tee and my favorite daughter (Kelly) says to her dad “would you like to play from the women’s tees”. For those of you who don’t know golf, womens tees are 40-50 yards closer to the hole so that these frail human beings have a better chance to score. The ultimate insult is to ask a man if he wants to play the women’s tee. I can’t believe she did that. Like Rodney Dangerfield, I wasn’t getting any respect.
The second “zinger” was “Dad, it is okay for an old man to play from the women”s tees”. Note the reference to old man. Again, no respect.
Then without the benefit of warming up, I took my first swing and the ball went straight down the fairway and I was right in the middle. “Great shot Dad”! Kelly then proceeded to tee off and hit the ball further than me. That was my first clue that it was going to be a long day. She beat me on the first hole by 3 strokes.
Kelly had the only birdie of the day. A score of 2 on a Par 3 hole. There ought to be a penalty for improper jumping with joy.
Kelly had the only other par of the day. It was a 4 on a Par 4.
She played like Phil Mickelson “before” he collapsed in the recent U.S.Open. You know! Incredible shots showing lots of imagination. She played like trees didn’t exist. Everytime she got near a tree, she ended up with a clear shot.
At the halfway mark (after 9 holes), she had beaten her dad into submission. Kelly had less strokes. No respect.
The second half of the round showed two tired golfers just trying to survive. Of course for me, it was tough for me to swing my clubs with a “foot on my throat” as she attempted to stomp me into submission.
We survivied the ordeal. We had a good time. I won’t tell you the end result. And of course, Kelly wants to do it again. Who wouldn’t enjoy beating their dad into submission.
So as we left the parking lot, she said “thanks Dad, we will have to do this again if you are up to it”. The inference was that maybe an old man couldn’t handle the competition. Again, no respect. Bulls—! Bring it on.
Love,
Dad