No, I’m not talking about “lines” in your face or any other part of your anatamy!
Nor am I talking about “pick-up” lines when you are/were dating.
Isn’t there a song that has to do with love-making in a car? Something about “passion by the dashboard lights”. It is where the guy promises to love his date in the morning and his “line” is “absolutely he will”. Of course that is a crock. That is not the kind of line I’m talking about.
Prince Charles is in “line” to the British throne. He is 60 years old, but his Queen mother is in her early eighties with a genetic lineage that will take her to over 100. Charles can be in line for his whole life waiting to receive his birthright and die never achieving the promise. That is not the line I’m talking about.
Green Bay Packer fans can sign up and get “in line” so to speak for season tickets. At the rate people die or surrender their tickets, you might achieve elgibility for tickets in 50-60 years. That is not the line that is the object of this blog.
It is not the 30 years waiting to get tickets to the Master’s Annual Golf Tournament.
It is not the “lines” at the DMV. At least there you get a number and everyone is treated the same. It only takes you two hours to get the lousiest picture on your drivers license that you could ever conceive.
It is not chosing the wrong line at the local bank. My “line” at the bank is always the wrong one. The other lines move and I’m still sitting there.
No sir, my cynicism regarding “lines” is directed to to checkout “lines” in the grocery store. I usually stop to pick up several items that take less than a minute to checkout. Somehow, I always get behind a person (usually female) that makes a career out of “checking out”. First, she fumbles in her wallet for a discount card. It is usually in some hidden pocket. Then she has picked an item (among many) that either doesn’t have a price or the computer doesn’t recognize. Then the phone call for a person to check the price. The line doesn’t move during this process because the computerized register is full of information and it must get the addition info to procede. When entering prices begins again, you think the line will finally move. Nope. Out come the coupons which need to be swiped individually. There is one coupon that doesn’t “compute” slowing down the process. Finally, a grocery total comes and the lady asks if they will take a check. After much fumbling, she finds her checkbook. She asks if she can make it out for $20 over the grocery total and then proceeds to fill out the check and her checkbook register. The computer needs to check her credit and okay the check. Finally, the lady puts all of the stuff back in her purse (unused coupons, checkbook, store specific discount cards, etc.). If the chit-chat has stopped, the line moves. I have ignored the lines that require under 15 items and people have 30-40. I have ignored “self-pack” stores where packing begins after all the check-out shinanagans. I have ignored the “welfare stamp” routines. I have ignored the cashier running out of quarters and leaving the register to get necessary funds. I just scratched the surface.
And then I whip out my store specific discount card, have cash ready in my hand and check through the 4-5 items I needed and I’m out in 60 seconds. Why can’t the world be more like me?
We are all victims of “lines”. They clutter our lives. We could be painting the ceilling on some magnificent chappel. We could be inventing a Salk polio vaccine. Or we could be doing genetic research to find the cure for cancer. But no, we are wasting away in some grocery store line.
I realize I need to let go and relax. Hey I do feel better! I think I can survive my next “line”. I hope you can too.
Have a good day.
Love
Dad