I watched the Presidential Debate last night. Everything is much clearer now!
I got to thinking, what would I do if I were running for the top executive job in the country?
If I were President I would promise, as did Franklin Roseveldt, “a chicken in every pot”. Everybody would get free medical care and you wouldn’t have to prove disability to get Social Security compensation. Education would be free and there would be guaranteed jobs waiting for everyone. Minimum wage would begin at $50 per hour and you would enjoy a 25 hour work week. Normal retirement would begin at age 50 but you would have the option of early retirement at 45.
Happiness would be guaranteed! If you weren’t happy, there would be legal recourse.
As President I would decree, every single citizen would experience 15 minutes of fame (that is not original, Andy Worhol framed the concept suggesting everybody already experiences 15 minutes of fame in their lifetime). I would guarantee it. It could be recognition for scoring a touchdown to win a football game, selecting the correct number in PowerBall or just being on the the winning team on Family Feud! If by chance you missed your 15 minutes of fame during your lifetime, I’d create a forum designed to give you recognition.
Also as President, every citizen would get a miracle. Each person deserves one miracle in their lifetime. There would have to be a limit of one miracle because of monetary and time constrictions. Miracles could take many forms. Things like landing the job of your life! Or by some “miracle” you meet the girl/boy of your dreams. Other miracles like medical cures, financial success and even religious revelations would be part of my promise. Think big!
I want everyone to be happy! You deserve it!
Trust me! As President I be would be totally dedicated to your happiness.
Now excuse me, I’ve got to meet with my “Happiness Advisers”, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and Smokey the Bear who are consuming medicinal marijuana to promote clearer thinking.
Love,
Dad