According to a recent study, firstborn men are more intelligent by a couple IQ points than their siblings. 71% of Nobel Peace Prize winners are first born men. The same type of phenomenon is noticed among National Merit Scholarship winners.
Hot damn! I always knew that I was special. My being the oldest male sibling in my family turns out to be a birth right with genetic advantage.
So who can rejoice with this news. Well Grasshopper No. 1 is married to the first male offspring in his family. Chris qualifies as first male in our family (that makes everything perfectly clear) and the future rests with superior male grandchildren such as Grant and Dominic.
Where does that leave the rest of you. It means you will lead a quiet life of desperation being dominated by first born male siblings and ending up with lots of hang-ups. To which, we first born say “get over it”. Male children born second and third in the family hierarchy apparently enter into states of denial more readily than first born.
It would be interesting to see how many U.S. Presidents were first born children. Based on the recent records, my guess would be there isn’t a first born among them.
Remember this a Norwegian study using Norwegian tax dollars. Norwegians have nothing else to do in the winter except eat fish, drive snow sleds and do useless studies.
Actually the study indicated that it wasn’t genetics causing Norwegian men to be smarter but more likely the way their parents treat them. They get responsibility and leadership heaped upon them along with higher expectations. In rising to the occasion, first born get smarter than the younger siblings they torment —- uh, nurture. The rest of the study falls into analyzing the many environment and societal factors which are rather in inconclusive.
So if you are the first born male in a family, you can rejoice. Your birth order gives you an advantage which you already knew. I always knew it. Now it is confirmed (although remember, it is a Norwegian study).
The lesson grasshoppers is that there is a lot of useless information floating around and you can develop statistical data that supports almost any conclusion. I know a lot of first born men that are complete embarrassments to the study. You know them too. No, I’m not one of them.
Of course there is the possibility that the study is “right on”.
Love,
Dad