Ace Wisdom

Grasshopper No.1 has a F-150 Ford. I see there is a recall on certain models of the F-!50 that have had a complete loss of brakes. It has something to do with loss of fluid from the master cylinder. Brake warning lights don’t work. Low fluid lights don’t work. Brakes pedals go down to the floor boards. Not a good thing.

I am reminded of my childhood days. I collected and traded Topps baseball cards. I would buy a pack of terrible tasting bubble gum that contained 3-4 baseball cards. There were good cards. There were repeat cards. And then, there were the special cards of players that were hard to get (Topps designed the distribution that way). In the 1950’s, Mickey Mantle was the All American Stud. His card was hard to get. I’m sure several 1952 Mickey Mantle baseball cards passed through my fingers. At a recent auction, Mantle’s 1952 card in very good condition sold for over $1 million. Alas, I let several million dollars slip through my fingers.

Packers play Sunday night. It conflicts with the Presidential debate. Now I’ve got to make a choice. Packers? Debate? Packers? Debate? What do I do?

Love,

Dad

 

Your Mom and I dropped the “season ticket routine” for UW Badger games this year. One reason was that schedules are dictated by ESPN. The Badgers are rated No.12 in the Country. The next game for the Badgers is at Camp Randall against No.2 Ohio State. Because it is a highly rated game, it will be played at night with a 7:00 PM kickoff to appease ESPN. That same game years ago would be a “day” game. Night time in October means cold weather. The game will end around 11:00 PM. That means getting home at 2:00 AM or staying overnight at a motel. Really? I guess I’ve lost the zest that goes with youth. I’m relegated to watching the Badger-Buckeye game on 60 inch HDTV with a stocked refrigerator. Yes, it is a painful alternative.

I mentioned Kimberly High School’s football team and it’s quest for win No.49 in a row last time. Kimberly got the record. Sunday’s Post Crescent had an article about Kimberly’s program and the reason for success. It was an insightful article. I cut it out and hand delivered it to our resident family High School Coach, Grasshopper No.4. It was old news. He had read the article days before it hit the newspapers. I tried!

I see that a student of the film industry who graduated from Lawrence University has made a horror “short” movie similar to the Blair Witch Project called “Gags”. The star is a really gruesome looking clown named Gags that presents himself at creepy times. To promote the movie “Gags” has been showing up around the country at night at places like playgrounds, outside movie theaters, churches and cemeterys. Creepy. You can bet with Halloween coming, the story of Gags will develop further. It’s almost as creepy as Hilary and Donald costumes.

I watched a Johnny Carson rerun including guest comedian Charlie Callas. It is a name from the past but he tells the story of two hunters (one stutters and the other shakes). It is hilarious. YouTube, Charlie Callas, the Hunter.

Love,

Dad

I did turn on the furnace to take “the chill out of the house”. I know. I know. I’m weak. It is always fun to see how long I can hold out before turning on the heat. I need help.

Your Mom and I were joined in a visit to the Fireside yesterday. The Fireside has a reputation for hosting elderly crowds. Of course. As Grandson Dominic would say, the elderly crowd has all the money so they can afford to attend. The production was “Million Dollar Quartet” portraying the start of the careers of Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins at Sun Records in 1956. It was toe tapping music from the start. There was one precious elderly “lady in red” in the front row that resorted to “shaking real low” to Jerry Lee’s rendition of “Whole Lot of Shakin Going On”. Who says older people can’t rock? On stage, Elvis girlfriend joined in by leading the song “I hear you knockin”. She brought the house down. Go see for yourself.

There will be Packer withdrawal this weekend because they have a “bye-week”. Do not despair, there are some really good football games starting tonight. There is this high school team next door to Appleton called Kimberly. They are trying to become the first team in State history to go unbeaten 49 games without a single loss (that includes not losing in the State playoffs for 3 years). I wonder how it feels to go through high school without experiencing the “agony of defeat”.

The second memorable matchup will be when the UW Badgers go into “the Big House” to play Michigan. Everybody hates Michigan except people who went to school there. Michigan had an “attitude”. It is the arrogant “a–h—” attitude. The Badgers are unbeaten so far and have defeated top rated teams. Michigan happens to be rated No.4 in the country and deserves to eat some “humble pie”. Win or lose, it should be good football viewing.

September ends today.

Apples are abundant.

It is all good! Enjoy the weekend.

Love,

Dad

 

I watched the Presidential Debate last night. Everything is much clearer now!

I got to thinking, what would I do if I were running for the top executive job in the country?

If I were President I would promise, as did Franklin Roseveldt, “a chicken in every pot”. Everybody would get free medical care and you wouldn’t have to prove disability to get Social Security compensation. Education would be free and there would be guaranteed jobs waiting for everyone. Minimum wage would begin at $50 per hour and you would enjoy a 25 hour work week. Normal retirement would begin at age 50 but you would have the option of early retirement at 45.

Happiness would be guaranteed! If you weren’t happy, there would be legal recourse.

As President I would decree, every single citizen would experience 15 minutes of fame (that is not original, Andy Worhol framed the concept suggesting everybody already experiences 15 minutes of fame in their lifetime). I would guarantee it. It could be recognition for scoring a touchdown to win a football game, selecting the correct number in PowerBall or just being on the the winning team on Family Feud! If by chance you missed your 15 minutes of fame during your lifetime, I’d create a forum designed to give you recognition.

Also as President, every citizen would get a miracle. Each person deserves one miracle in their lifetime. There would have to be a limit of one miracle because of monetary and time constrictions. Miracles could take many forms. Things like landing the job of your life! Or by some “miracle” you meet the girl/boy of your dreams. Other miracles like medical cures, financial success and even religious revelations would be part of my promise. Think big!

I want everyone to be happy! You deserve it!

Trust me! As President I be would be totally dedicated to your happiness.

Now excuse me, I’ve got to meet with my “Happiness Advisers”, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and Smokey the Bear who are consuming medicinal marijuana to promote clearer thinking.

Love,

Dad

All of us have experienced the passing of a loved one. There are varied beliefs about what happens when we die but most of us cling to “going to a better place”.

Your Mom always says that we keep “coming back” until we get it right. I’m not sure what “right” is but I’m sure it has something to do with “righteous” and caring for fellow human beings.

And so it goes. Lots of theories about what happens when we die. We have Bibles and Korans to convey written word. Nobody really knows.

I had lunch with a friend who recently lost his wife. He introduced me to “orbes”. They are actually a product of cell phone technology. When taking a picture with your cell phone, there is a quick preliminary flash before the major flash in taking a picture. That early flash most times captures bright round objects (sometimes framed with a halo). They actually look like tiny, tiny, suns or moons. The theory is that when someone dies, their energy converts to other forms and can become orbes. So maybe your Grandma is in the cell phone in your hand or back pocket. That orb captured on your cell is her watching and guiding you through you life. In fact your whole life is surrounded by bodies of orbes. I don’t pass judgement on this stuff, I just report it. If you take solace in the fact loved ones never leave you, they just take the form of an energy or an orb, who am I am to dispel the comforting thought?

I know nothing about the nature of “orb energy”. It seems to me that if “orbes” bring you comfort and purpose in life, go with it.

My “friend” had a sparkle in his eyes when he talked of “orbes” and the possibility that his wife always with him. It gives new meaning to “together forever”. For ever and ever! Ever! An orb on my shoulder says “ACE stop it.!

Octoberfest in Appleton this weekend. Old vintage cars worth millions rumbling through the streets.

For those who haven’t noticed, it is Fall.

Love,

Dad

 

 

The 2016 college football season has begun.

We do not have season tickets to the UW-Badger home games at Camp Randall for the first time in over 35 years.

It has taken awhile to understand the Camp Randall experience. Yeah the football games were good, but it really about family.

Initially we traveled to Madison on Saturdays to watch Grasshopper No.2 perform in the Marching Band starting in 1980. Grasshopper No.2 performed for 4 years and was awarded a UW blanket to prove it. Siblings No.1 and No.3 (I think No.4 got to see his sister perform but he was really young) would join in. Each Saturday was filled with music. A day began by meeting No.2 in the morning, we would congregate at the South Union to enjoy a pep rally, march to the stadium with the band playing music, we’d watch the pre-game and half-time Band performances and then march to historic Bascom Hill for a closing pep rally. Yep, we’d do all that. Oh, and there were football games besides. Don’t forget dinner afterward. It was a day of family and it involved fun.

There were many games where Nana and Grandpa would join us. They endured the same rigors of a long day and enjoyed every moment. Reflecting back, Nana and Grandpa would have been in their early 70’s. They lived to see a Grandchild perform for in the Band and be included in family outings. How precious is a family gathering that includes Grandparents?

After 4 years of watching the career of No.2 at the football outings, tradition and nostalgia “kicked in”. We continued to buy season tickets for the next 30 years.

In the years that followed, it was still about our family joining together but it got extended to son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, Grandchildren (Dano, Grant, Mitchell, Collin, Dominic and Tommy), and Uncles and Aunts. There were occasional guests.

There was always anticipation.

There was always upbeat music.

There were championships and outstanding football players.

But there was always the family getting together to make it special. Thanks to all for the all the memories.

Love,

Dad

 

 

Happy Birthday to Grasshopper No.1. She was born on Sept.19, many, many years ago. She was the first. We have the pictures to prove it. The first born is always perceived as being the favorite. That is because she is. On your special day, may all your dreams come true.

Yesterday I had my annual “come to Jesus” meeting with my local cable company. They raise rates every October by 10%-15%. I respond by calling to complain. By some sort of magic, we reconfigure things and by the time we are done my rate somehow drops. Our new deal includes improved “whole house DVR” digital service capable of recording 6 stations at a time with a few premium networks thrown in. My bill went down. How does that work?

The service technician for the Cable Co. has been here and left. We have the new DVRs installed. We have new remotes. We have a reconfiguration of stations we receive.

What we do not have is access to old recorded programs. Sh–! When our DVR was replaced, we lost all stored data. Things like “America Has Talent”, gone! “Dancing with the Stars (2 years worth), gone. Old time cowboy movies starring Randolph Scott (he got me through my hospital stay several years ago), gone. We will survive but it is a shame recorded programs could not be transferred.

As I analyze my cable bill, it has dawned on me that the charge for a phone service, internet (super turbo) and TV is fairly reasonable (around $100) month. The devices needed to support the services like DVR’s, digital adapters, and internet modems are rentals. The cable company makes almost as much money on the equipment rentals as it does on the service. As the cable service tech was leaving our house with an arm full of “old equipment” I discovered that nothing gets thrown away. They rebuild each electrical box with new chips and reuse everything. Let me see, refurbish old equipment and charge full price rentals. Clever!

The Packers travel to Minnesota for a Sunday night game against the Vikings in their new billion dollar domed stadium. I would like visit the dome just to see what a billion dollars looks like.

Love,

Dad

 

I was never a fan of the “X-Files” TV series in the late 1990’s but I recently ran across the series on Netflix. I got hooked on the “alien stuff”, ghosts and unexplained phenomenon.

Which brings me to Hillary Clinton. This not a political statement. She collapsed on Sunday during the 9/11 celebration in New York. They “wisked” her off to her daughters apartment and a couple hours later she appeared outside on the sidewalk talking to people and commenting “what a beautiful day in New York”! It was like nothing happened. But wait! I watched the X-Files and this is a clearly a case of having a “body double”. The person appearing on the street was her double and the “real” Hillary was being attended to medically. The lead character of the X-Files, Fox Mulder, would postulate that this whole illness coverup of Hillary’s is part of a conspiracy theory and who knows, maybe aliens are involved. Just saying!

You know when your Samsung Note 7 explodes in your pocket that it is going to be a lousy day. I’m told that I should not charge my lithium battery and I am advised not use the “Note 7”. How do I text? How do I download apps? How do I check the time? How do I check my fantasy team? Oh my!

Of course the my situation gets worse. Nintendo is going to release their Super Mario app as part of an arsenal of characters in Nintendo inventory. The format is similar to Pokemon Go. It is targeted for release during the Holidays. I think the collectables in the game are coins (?). Now I am waiting for delivery of one of most popular game franchises in history and I’ve got a burned up Samsung Note 7 cell phone in my pocket. Can one exist without a cell phone?

Some days are just harder than others!

Love,

Dad

 

Sunday marks the 15th anniversary of 9/11, the destruction of the Twin Towers in New York. The event was orchestrated by Extremist Muslims in Middle East. They hated us “westerners” then. They still hate us.

“My” Green Bay Packers travel to Jacksonville, Florida to open their NFL season against the Jaguars on Sunday. Nobody knows how good the team is because none of the “first string” played during the pre-season. Lombardi would be turning over in his grave. He played to win every game including preseason. Game time is supposed to be 90 degrees F. with extremely high humidity. Grasshopper No.3 would say “suck it up”.

This falls under the category of “just wondering”. Do you think Donald Trump has ever listened to Clark Howard or Dave Ramsey for financial advice? Just wondering! How does Hillary Clinton go from being “broke” several years ago to being worth well over $100 million. She must have a hell of job in government. Just wondering?

I’ve been getting “free” stuff lately. My chiropractor in Sheboygan gave me a car. It is black. It is a convertible. It is a Mercedes. It is a 2000 model. It is a toy. I had described the car that Grasshopper No.2 had purchased to him and he presented me with my own Mattel toy replica. What’s next? A free adjustment?

Our GPS “puked” on our trip to Fargo, N.D. It turned out to be a faulty chord. Grasshopper No.5 felt sorry for your Mom and I and gave us her chord. Another “free-bee”. That is why No.5 is our favorite.

Lately I’ve been getting free grape tomatoes from friends. I think they feel sorry for me because of the tattered clothes I wear while exercising. Maybe I look undernurished. Maybe I just look needy. Hey, they are free.

It is very dark when I get up in the morning. What does that mean?

Love,

Dad

 

Your Mom and I roasted “corn on the cob” on the outdoor grill over the weekend. There is something special about butter and salt running down your arms as you devour each ear. Sweet corn takes me back to childhood. An August harvest always brought the farmers to town with a pick-up truck full of corn. The farmers would park on Main Street and offer grocery bags of corn off the back of the truck. $.25 for a dozen ears. You could feed a family of six for less than $.50.

My first UW Badger football game at Camp Randall was in September, 1980. The Badgers stunned a top rated Michigan team for the first time in decades. Glorious. Memorable. Saturday, the UW Badger football team rolled into Green Bay for a game at Lambeau (the first Badger game at Lambeau ever). It was a game on hallowed ground against No.5 rated LSU. The Badgers came away with a 16-14 victory. Again glorius. Again memorable. Alas, I was not in attendance.

I saw evidence of the celebration the following morning. I was traveling south on Highway 41. A black SUV with bright red “W” decals strategically placed all over the vehicle had pulled over to the side of the road and the driver’s door was open. The driver had hastily jumped out of the SUV and was “heaving his guts” out while hanging over the metal railing. I can’t be sure, but I’d bet the driver was headed home from Lambeau the morning following a glorius celebration. The fan must have had a great time. I’m not sure the he remembers everything. He will remember hanging over the guard rail.

Labor Day came and went. Next stop? Thanksgiving.

Love,

Dad